Dark Alley's

Do you feel the moment the way i feel it?

Each day, when i pass the spot, i feel the moment in its life.

Every time the breeeze caresses, i feel you breathing down my neck

The way it was all just nothing

and the next moment became the moment i'd take away forever from there.

You grabbed my shoulders, pushed me to the wall

and pinned me with your desire

Your hand resting on the wall

Your body pulsating right in front of me

Your heart pounding just as fast as mine

You looked right into my eyes

Every atom in you wanted to kiss me

Every inch of you wanted a taste of me

Our mind had blocked us from the sense of time and space

Who needed to know that?

It was just then. There. Us. 

That little, distressing, unbearable space between us

That we both wanted to abolish

The little gap between us

Fuelled the passion buring inside of us

Drove us crazy in the head

We both knew we wanted to 

But we knew we couldn't

Then when you pulled your hand away and unpinned me from the wall

It was like pulling away of velcro strips from one another

Something was so not right

Yet everything was

That moment

I re-live each time

you cross my mind

and wish for once we had.

5 Years Since

 It's been 5 years since i wrote my last blog post. I was pretty regular then, i had no one to talk to even then and that's perhaps one reason why i wrote so much. It was like i had someone to listen to me. 5 years since nothing has changed. I still have no one to talk to. I still feel the same hollow. I still am seeing my therapist, albeit a new city, still needs meds to sleep and an entire pandemic that literally changed our lives. 

I started writing a novel last year. Had reached the end of it when just two chapters away i realized how i wasn't satisfied with my work and i scrapped it all. I get obsessed with a thought sometimes and i get restless till i crack an idea. The novel is consuming me and i decided to write something else to break away from that thought for a while. I remembered i had this blog and here i am. I have a list of 18 topics in all i have to write on. Some novel ideas, some movie and TV ideas. i am just sitting an hatching all of them because i am so drained mentally. Money is a bitch, one needs to have a source to be able to pursue a hobby. Nonetheless, i will find the time and write. 

I hope to be far more regular here now. I still don't know what this blog will be like, but i will figure with time.