Today, I returned home at eight
for me, very early...coz i'm usually late.
No no i don't intend to do poetry here
its just that the thot rhymed
Since then, i have been revisiting
My first day at school, when every child was crying, trying to find a face that it can recognise while i sat looking at them...totally amazed.
the day i visited my ancestral village and saw my great grandmother milking cows for the first time. I felt so at home to see vivacious sunflower fields smiling back at me and earthy groundnut plants wishing me good morning! The first time when i actually saw how the night sky looks like.
the day when i first rode my sister on my bicycle. I couldnt believe i will share my whole life with the adorable looking fat doll. When she did sit on my cycle, i tripped n fell off.
the day when i first saw snow caped mountains. i actually saw what majesty means. The warmth i felt in the cold winds and the hot piping maggie that went cold in 5 mins flat. I can still feel the warmth of the hot cup of tea i held in my frozen hands while my body gradually warmed up.
the day when i first went to that shady school in pune and felt so out of place that i wanted to run away. But stayed on without complaining coz my dad stood in the line for half a day to get us admissions in some school to begin with. Everyday in that school was a task...to face those low IQ and low EQ people...
the day when i first danced on a public stage and din't look up at the audience at all and went red in my cheeks when i was applauded and appreciated.
the first day of my singing class when i sang 'saraswati vandana' coz thats the only classical song i knew and my teacher very politely said 'next time when you are asked to sing, i am sure you will have better songs to sing' and from that day on to the state level exam where i don't know how i fared well.
the first day i met my best frend on my bday party she camed dressed in a white frock but i dont remember what i was wearing. We hardly spoke but built a friendship that remains beyond words.
The first time when i came home from school thinking my skirt was too long for anybody to notice me ever. I actually wore a 3inches below knee lenght skirt which eventually came that much above the knees.
the first day when i went to college and whined about how other colleges were better than mine and why daddy won't let me study in DR or Miranda!
the first time i gave any interview, i never thot i would actually look like an ass... Lowe lintas... the woman came drunk to office and i got a culture shock. But later i learnt i was pretty good!
my first day at mirchi where everything was unbelievably fairytale like. A dream job... the best office... fantastic people... i couldnt have asked for more!
my first trip abroad i couldnt stop sniggering in my mind.... i had so much to capture in my memories that i forgot to click pictures.
the first time i lived alone... i felt liberated! I missed my family terribly but the thot of living alone for the longest time excited me. This part of my life taught me a lot.
the first time i wrote something and was acknowledged for it, i felt important. The first time what i had written, got aired, i was elated!
The first time that i went on an impromptu trip and had so much fun that words cannot describe.
the first time i drove my car i was jittery and so heavenly scared that i was sweating profusely. Then on i have scaled miles in my zippy alto... alone and with friends!
the first time i went to a disc, i felt terribly out of place and shabby. Although we were the 'hippest' so to say, crowd in the city, i felt i wasnt meant to be here. The music pierced my ears, the people amazed me, the ambience blinded me. I went with an office bag and a mobile fone. Today its been replaced with a fancy clutch bag and a glass of alchohol.
The first time i felt love... i was so overwhelmed that tears rolled down my eyes. I never thot i would ever feel this emotion after all the lessons in life.
Oh....so much... I am revisiting all of this not becoz they are such awesome memories in my life. I keep praying to God for some good to happen and how i conviniently i forget that he has discreetly given me uncountable such good things. I am revisiting these memories to reassure to myself that i am not really as unfortunate as i think i am. i have good times to live by and some awesome people to live with.
I shouldn't be complaining.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
Fidgety days
Am back in Mumbai after the 29th. 5 day lull in my life. I was attending couple of weddings and frankly i enjoyed none! My mind and soul wouldn't let me sit in peace. My heart was in Mumbai, hurt and broken into a thousand pieces.
I was in Indore also for another friend's wedding. Met up with old friends as well thinking i would not think of the tragedy. One friend after 6 years, i was so looking forward to see her... initial joy... sharing our lives and filling each other up wiw the info of the space of 6yrs. I was enjoying every moment. Atleast i'd like to tell myself that... my mind was traversing that space... repeated pictures of the devastation going through my mind one after the other like snapshots of a distant memory, making me nervous, angry, sad, cry. The usual kinetic emotions weren't flowing so easily. I was restrained and i felt terribly guilty later for being so corked up.
I was at a hotel with another set of friends, she and i were already discussing our pain and how the incident hasn't really gotten out of minds and then he joined us too. So now that we were three of us, our thoughts became words and the words grew louder. In many days after the incident i expressed what i was feeling about the entire attack. The only constant emotion i all three of us was immense pain, sorrow for what was happening all around us. He and i were in Mumbai when all this happened...she just saw it all on TV... yet she carried the same agony...the same grouse.
I knew today... my restlessness wasn't unjustified.. or it just wasn't me who was restless... it was her.. him... and many many more like us who stood muted watching it all on TV and wondering what we could do to contribute. My restlessness was due to my inability or the obscurity of my worthiness. I still don't know what i can do to contribute to better the situation and i don't want to feel useless and fidgety.
No i don't intend to join the army all of a sudden nor do i want to be a politician... i am happy being a civilian but what will now make us all different is being 'a responsbile civilian'.
I was called two hours early for a security check at the Mumbai Airport when i was departing on the 29th and so i reached. But to my dismay i wasn't checked the way i was expecting... i stopped by and told one of the gaurds actually that it looked like they were looking for toffees in my bag and not bombs, by the way they frisked it! On the contrary security checks at Indore were surprisingly tight. I was frisked thoroughly, then when the detector picked metal on my belt i was made to show the belt that i was wearing. The lady who frisked me slid her fingers under the belt to doubly ensure am not hiding anything beneath, ran the detector again all over me and only then let me go ahead. My hand bag was opened thrice from the gate till i boarded which is also not a regular sight. I had to compliment them for being so alert for an airport that doesnt even ace threats from wild boars.
In my capacity, thats the least i can do... be tolerant and not complaint about the endless lines for extra safety! Each one of us can let the forces do their jobs and help them actually by cooperating. I am perturbed even today but i know i will find a way to contribute. Atleast i know now what was making me restless. Me and my friends have decided, anything that takes to build a better future, we shall do! None of us want to see a world where every step we take falls over a life sacrificed, every breathe we take smells of grenades and gunshots, every sight blurred by the dust of shelling, every bed itching of riffles under pillows and refills under mattresses. Lets do something... enough is written and said defaming every debacle of the system. Its really time that we ACT and NOW!!!
I was in Indore also for another friend's wedding. Met up with old friends as well thinking i would not think of the tragedy. One friend after 6 years, i was so looking forward to see her... initial joy... sharing our lives and filling each other up wiw the info of the space of 6yrs. I was enjoying every moment. Atleast i'd like to tell myself that... my mind was traversing that space... repeated pictures of the devastation going through my mind one after the other like snapshots of a distant memory, making me nervous, angry, sad, cry. The usual kinetic emotions weren't flowing so easily. I was restrained and i felt terribly guilty later for being so corked up.
I was at a hotel with another set of friends, she and i were already discussing our pain and how the incident hasn't really gotten out of minds and then he joined us too. So now that we were three of us, our thoughts became words and the words grew louder. In many days after the incident i expressed what i was feeling about the entire attack. The only constant emotion i all three of us was immense pain, sorrow for what was happening all around us. He and i were in Mumbai when all this happened...she just saw it all on TV... yet she carried the same agony...the same grouse.
I knew today... my restlessness wasn't unjustified.. or it just wasn't me who was restless... it was her.. him... and many many more like us who stood muted watching it all on TV and wondering what we could do to contribute. My restlessness was due to my inability or the obscurity of my worthiness. I still don't know what i can do to contribute to better the situation and i don't want to feel useless and fidgety.
No i don't intend to join the army all of a sudden nor do i want to be a politician... i am happy being a civilian but what will now make us all different is being 'a responsbile civilian'.
I was called two hours early for a security check at the Mumbai Airport when i was departing on the 29th and so i reached. But to my dismay i wasn't checked the way i was expecting... i stopped by and told one of the gaurds actually that it looked like they were looking for toffees in my bag and not bombs, by the way they frisked it! On the contrary security checks at Indore were surprisingly tight. I was frisked thoroughly, then when the detector picked metal on my belt i was made to show the belt that i was wearing. The lady who frisked me slid her fingers under the belt to doubly ensure am not hiding anything beneath, ran the detector again all over me and only then let me go ahead. My hand bag was opened thrice from the gate till i boarded which is also not a regular sight. I had to compliment them for being so alert for an airport that doesnt even ace threats from wild boars.
In my capacity, thats the least i can do... be tolerant and not complaint about the endless lines for extra safety! Each one of us can let the forces do their jobs and help them actually by cooperating. I am perturbed even today but i know i will find a way to contribute. Atleast i know now what was making me restless. Me and my friends have decided, anything that takes to build a better future, we shall do! None of us want to see a world where every step we take falls over a life sacrificed, every breathe we take smells of grenades and gunshots, every sight blurred by the dust of shelling, every bed itching of riffles under pillows and refills under mattresses. Lets do something... enough is written and said defaming every debacle of the system. Its really time that we ACT and NOW!!!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
49-O
Got this on my email last night... am sure many of you have already...
49-O in Constitution of India
Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the 1969
act, in section " 49-O" that a person can go to the polling booth, confirm
his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election
officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone!
Yes this feature is available, but obviously our leaders have never
disclosed it....
This is called "49-O".
Why should you go and say " I VOTE NOBODY"... because, in a ward, if a
candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has received
"49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be cancelled and will
have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the candidature of the contestants
will be removed and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had
already expressed their decision on them.
This would bring fear into parties and hence look for genuine candidates
for their parties for election. This would change the way; of our whole
political system....... it is seemingly surprising why the election
commission has not revealed such a feature to the public....
Seems to be a wonderful weapon against corrupt parties in India ... show
your power, expressing your desire not to vote for anybody, is even more
powerful than voting.... so don't miss your chance. So either vote, or vote
not to vote (vote 49-O)
Use your voting right for a better INDIA....
49-O in Constitution of India
Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the 1969
act, in section " 49-O" that a person can go to the polling booth, confirm
his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election
officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone!
Yes this feature is available, but obviously our leaders have never
disclosed it....
This is called "49-O".
Why should you go and say " I VOTE NOBODY"... because, in a ward, if a
candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has received
"49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be cancelled and will
have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the candidature of the contestants
will be removed and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had
already expressed their decision on them.
This would bring fear into parties and hence look for genuine candidates
for their parties for election. This would change the way; of our whole
political system....... it is seemingly surprising why the election
commission has not revealed such a feature to the public....
Seems to be a wonderful weapon against corrupt parties in India ... show
your power, expressing your desire not to vote for anybody, is even more
powerful than voting.... so don't miss your chance. So either vote, or vote
not to vote (vote 49-O)
Use your voting right for a better INDIA....
Section 23 - The Breach of Trust
'Don’t worry about those who came through the boats.... Our forces can defeat them. Worry about those who come through votes... those are the REAL enemies.'
My ex-boss sent this message. It has only reinforced the fact in my mind that we are a 'Hollow Nation' and our leaders are incapable of even handling the fights in their own minds let alone the country.
We are enraged, furious and demanding answers to our questions that have been suppressed inside for many years. The under current is strong and this charged mob can do anything now to 'get' answers to their questions anyhow.
We elect you, we entrust you with our safety our security and our lives only to realise in the end that our trust in you was played with. Elections after elections, promises after promises we have only heard bulls&%t and sadly, we have taken it as well. But mind it, we had no other option but to believe what was promised to us. Callous, is a measly word to define the 'leaders' today. The shameless parties can find publicity agenda in the blasts is commendable. Ads appear the very next day in newspaper using the blasts and maligning opposing parties on ‘how they couldn’t avert the danger and how unsafe they made the country’. Haven’t we seen all of them take the same oaths and yet not live up to the promises?
I am scared to venture out even in broad day light today in my own country, thanks to all of you who promised to give me a safer city and couldn’t. When I look at all the newscasts on the blasts nearly 7 days after the first firing, I feel we have had immense grit and resilience to have not shown our anger the way it is pent up inside us. The day the 1,129,866,154 people in India decide to rip you mere 100 politicians off your ‘authority’ you will have no place to hide.
How many more blasts and terrorist attacks do you need to prove to yourself that you are nincompoop good for nothings. The official retirement age is 60, which means once is incapable mentally and physically, of taking decisions and running office. But our system only allows people of that age to run the country. I question everybody here…why??? Aren’t young minds fit to handle the country? How dare you make remarks like ‘powder lipstick laga ke kaisa aandolan’ and ‘kutta bhi nahi poochta?’… I am so glad that the ‘prize money’ sent by X leader was returned on their face! We are not going to gulp every accident down our throats anymore, thinking it was a one off. We, the country are united today…against the politicians.
I do not want to vote for anybody this year till I am assured that a leader fit enough to lead the country will be elected. I will not vote till I am assured that my country is in safe hands. I am angry and antagonized because my trust is shaken today. You may take Rs. 600 million to resurrect The Taj Mahal Hotel, fill in men you have lost to re-build you forces… But tell me how are you going to bring back the faith we have lost in you?
This country needs answers…. NOW! I boycott elections till then... if my one vote matters at all!
My ex-boss sent this message. It has only reinforced the fact in my mind that we are a 'Hollow Nation' and our leaders are incapable of even handling the fights in their own minds let alone the country.
We are enraged, furious and demanding answers to our questions that have been suppressed inside for many years. The under current is strong and this charged mob can do anything now to 'get' answers to their questions anyhow.
We elect you, we entrust you with our safety our security and our lives only to realise in the end that our trust in you was played with. Elections after elections, promises after promises we have only heard bulls&%t and sadly, we have taken it as well. But mind it, we had no other option but to believe what was promised to us. Callous, is a measly word to define the 'leaders' today. The shameless parties can find publicity agenda in the blasts is commendable. Ads appear the very next day in newspaper using the blasts and maligning opposing parties on ‘how they couldn’t avert the danger and how unsafe they made the country’. Haven’t we seen all of them take the same oaths and yet not live up to the promises?
I am scared to venture out even in broad day light today in my own country, thanks to all of you who promised to give me a safer city and couldn’t. When I look at all the newscasts on the blasts nearly 7 days after the first firing, I feel we have had immense grit and resilience to have not shown our anger the way it is pent up inside us. The day the 1,129,866,154 people in India decide to rip you mere 100 politicians off your ‘authority’ you will have no place to hide.
How many more blasts and terrorist attacks do you need to prove to yourself that you are nincompoop good for nothings. The official retirement age is 60, which means once is incapable mentally and physically, of taking decisions and running office. But our system only allows people of that age to run the country. I question everybody here…why??? Aren’t young minds fit to handle the country? How dare you make remarks like ‘powder lipstick laga ke kaisa aandolan’ and ‘kutta bhi nahi poochta?’… I am so glad that the ‘prize money’ sent by X leader was returned on their face! We are not going to gulp every accident down our throats anymore, thinking it was a one off. We, the country are united today…against the politicians.
I do not want to vote for anybody this year till I am assured that a leader fit enough to lead the country will be elected. I will not vote till I am assured that my country is in safe hands. I am angry and antagonized because my trust is shaken today. You may take Rs. 600 million to resurrect The Taj Mahal Hotel, fill in men you have lost to re-build you forces… But tell me how are you going to bring back the faith we have lost in you?
This country needs answers…. NOW! I boycott elections till then... if my one vote matters at all!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Desi Girl!
Yah, that's the most popular track from Dostana, topping charts and on every body's lips these days. Desi - is by definition anything that 'belongs to the homeland'. The one term that is global Indian but in our country itself used in a very derogatory manner.
Desi to us is downmarket, of lesser species, 'ghaati' or LS! Strange... coz its meant to be very chic!
This new ad on TV, that of a brand of chips with Indian flavors, says a lot about the word 'Desi'. We, perhaps, are the only region in the world where every brand of edibles has customized their food to suit the 'Desi' taste buds. Coke and Pepsi's launched their colas with sweeter flavors. McDonald's nowhere in the world has a 'veg-aloo tikki' burger but they made one for India. Pepsi came out with Kurkure the Desi gaathiya to compliment the western alcoholic drinks, Indian curries making waves in the UK and US and even the Desi Chinese cuisine hitting big in the US!
It truly means being Indian at heart and i feel everybody is a desi at heart at some or the other level however hip and posh they may be otherwise. We may go to the hippest pub or disco ... show on the exterior how much we love hip hop reggaeton and all that jazz.... bang our heads into each other pretending to understand Rock, but our souls pep only when the DJ plays hindi bollywood songs! No amount of pizzas and sizzlers can ever satiate our appetites like dal chawal. We would still not understand most words in the english flick unless we switch the subtitles on and our day wouldnt end without using a swear word in chaste hindi!
It feels so comfortable to be desi where you don't have to wear the veil of pretence of being something that we as a race are not! I feel strange and pity for people who sham 'big boss' is LS and watch sex and the city instead. Sad about the people who feel playing hindi songs in ur car and not owning an english cd is LS. Women who wear suits and indian outfits are LS, speaking in Hindi with you friends is LS??? Were you born on planet USA???? What's wrong with being desi? How can anything so fabulously grounded and rustic be LS or downmarket... and above all, who decides that?
I am proud to be desi at heart. I speak hindi even when 100 other people around me speak in english, i am not embarassed about it. I watch hindi movies and i do not understand english movies. Keep your outlook global but your heart, desi. No matter how modern our men become they will still want an Indian bride who can look after their home. Guys will love girls who wear the choicest of western clothes but his heart will skip a beat only when she wears an Indian attire. After all, anything desi is straight from the heart and has to be good!
Desi is the word and the spirit to be! Ain't nothing like our desipan...
Desi to us is downmarket, of lesser species, 'ghaati' or LS! Strange... coz its meant to be very chic!
This new ad on TV, that of a brand of chips with Indian flavors, says a lot about the word 'Desi'. We, perhaps, are the only region in the world where every brand of edibles has customized their food to suit the 'Desi' taste buds. Coke and Pepsi's launched their colas with sweeter flavors. McDonald's nowhere in the world has a 'veg-aloo tikki' burger but they made one for India. Pepsi came out with Kurkure the Desi gaathiya to compliment the western alcoholic drinks, Indian curries making waves in the UK and US and even the Desi Chinese cuisine hitting big in the US!
It truly means being Indian at heart and i feel everybody is a desi at heart at some or the other level however hip and posh they may be otherwise. We may go to the hippest pub or disco ... show on the exterior how much we love hip hop reggaeton and all that jazz.... bang our heads into each other pretending to understand Rock, but our souls pep only when the DJ plays hindi bollywood songs! No amount of pizzas and sizzlers can ever satiate our appetites like dal chawal. We would still not understand most words in the english flick unless we switch the subtitles on and our day wouldnt end without using a swear word in chaste hindi!
It feels so comfortable to be desi where you don't have to wear the veil of pretence of being something that we as a race are not! I feel strange and pity for people who sham 'big boss' is LS and watch sex and the city instead. Sad about the people who feel playing hindi songs in ur car and not owning an english cd is LS. Women who wear suits and indian outfits are LS, speaking in Hindi with you friends is LS??? Were you born on planet USA???? What's wrong with being desi? How can anything so fabulously grounded and rustic be LS or downmarket... and above all, who decides that?
I am proud to be desi at heart. I speak hindi even when 100 other people around me speak in english, i am not embarassed about it. I watch hindi movies and i do not understand english movies. Keep your outlook global but your heart, desi. No matter how modern our men become they will still want an Indian bride who can look after their home. Guys will love girls who wear the choicest of western clothes but his heart will skip a beat only when she wears an Indian attire. After all, anything desi is straight from the heart and has to be good!
Desi is the word and the spirit to be! Ain't nothing like our desipan...
Pecksniffian air
I was thrilled i had a friend finally in this city where i feel totally ignored. 7 months it took me to get friendly with someone. I was sharing everything i was feeling with her and then i get to know she wasn't as genuine as i thot she would be! She was telling everythng to the other someone! What a daft i was... my problem is i believe everyone... for me everything is white... everyone is good n then darkness descends upon me! I have suddenly started to see everyone in different perspective now.
Everybody is living a pecksniffian life these days. Its a matter of trust and its tough to place it in any one person. The only thing they think about is themselves. The only person they are true to is themselves and the only thing they care about is themselves. While i have traversed through life and treaded the dreaded paths and relations, one experience has truely stood out that of being lied to!
The human brain is made to see the superficial, that we cannot see what is going on in the mind. The only way to remotely know it is through the expressions and sadly that can be faked too! So whatever little you could read from the face is also doubtful now. People say something, intrepret something else, blurt something else and the whole pretence of 'oh i care about you, you can share with me' is so trust breaking. So i don't know whom to trust. How to evaluate who is worthy of my trust?
Right now, i am left with no friend again... so i talk to myself in the night... i would like to read minds.
Everybody is living a pecksniffian life these days. Its a matter of trust and its tough to place it in any one person. The only thing they think about is themselves. The only person they are true to is themselves and the only thing they care about is themselves. While i have traversed through life and treaded the dreaded paths and relations, one experience has truely stood out that of being lied to!
The human brain is made to see the superficial, that we cannot see what is going on in the mind. The only way to remotely know it is through the expressions and sadly that can be faked too! So whatever little you could read from the face is also doubtful now. People say something, intrepret something else, blurt something else and the whole pretence of 'oh i care about you, you can share with me' is so trust breaking. So i don't know whom to trust. How to evaluate who is worthy of my trust?
Right now, i am left with no friend again... so i talk to myself in the night... i would like to read minds.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Bollywood Dreams
So Dostana is glamorous, chic, filled with some extremely hot looking people with surreal lifestyles. Such movies are only meant to transport you to fairyland and make you believe in fantasy. For me it was entertainment. The opening song has two of the hottest bodies in the industry - Shilpa Shetty and John Abrahim (read almost nude). Then enter Abhishek Bachhan with the tad worn out uber cool look. With Miami as the backdrop, there is bound to be a lot of bare bod display and joining the gang of 'oh look at me i am hot too' is Priyanka Chopra with microscopic clothes. I could see guys salivating over her fabulously toned abs and legs.
Frankly i knew what the movie would be like so i wasn't paying much attention either but while i almost skipped a beat when i saw John in that gray D&G, i was thinking what others in the packed house must be thinking.
Movies are such a relaxant and such a fantastic way of living your dreams that almost everybody starts to relate to one or the other character instantly. The house was packed on the premiere show with people of all walks of life excited about their own bit in the movie. If i were drooling over John somebody must be drooling over Abhishek am sure. While 90% of the guys would be fantasizing about Priyanka the rest who did not (rather could not) would be lusting over Abhishek and John! When i was walking up to the cinema hall i heard a woman exclaim painfully looking at the movie poster ' I don't want to watch this movie, Priyanka's looking so hot, she's lost so much weight!'. The lady surely was jealous of the gals body. Some wanna be's must have been admiring John's sculpted body. Some fashionista's must be examining Priyanka's costumes and some must be criticizing Abhishek's look thinking i look much better than him!
Every body had been enchanted by something from the film. I could see a gang of friends identifying with the friendship depicted in the movie while other's only dreaming of having one like that. I could imagine girls identifying with priyankas character being chased by 3 guys and not being able to make a choice. I could see men who had fallen for their best buddy but never been able to muster the courage to confess, relating to Junior Bs and Johns character. I could sense single men looking for a house dreaming of moving in with a woman like Neha. Some career centered women must be aspiring to be in Neha's place while most could have identified with her pathos of being superseded by a new guy for the position she was eying. A lot of women would have identified with her falling for her boss and some could have related to the awkwardness one feels after your best buddy proposes to you.
Since the movie halls near my area are flocked by TV stars and bollywood hotties most often, i could imagine some of them thinking in their minds that they would have done X role much better than Y. All the wanna be's thinking of playing a character like that or staring in a KJo movie some day. Every actor would imagine being the next lead opposite Priyanka!
Its such a mixed bag of emotions and the sheer vividness that one movie can create in each of the viewers heart. I salute the movie makers for the movie going experience and the jet d'eau of emotions they create on screen. More than the movie i enjoyed decoding each person's thought in the hall. Truly enigmatic, bollywood does give each one of us dreams to live for!
Frankly i knew what the movie would be like so i wasn't paying much attention either but while i almost skipped a beat when i saw John in that gray D&G, i was thinking what others in the packed house must be thinking.
Movies are such a relaxant and such a fantastic way of living your dreams that almost everybody starts to relate to one or the other character instantly. The house was packed on the premiere show with people of all walks of life excited about their own bit in the movie. If i were drooling over John somebody must be drooling over Abhishek am sure. While 90% of the guys would be fantasizing about Priyanka the rest who did not (rather could not) would be lusting over Abhishek and John! When i was walking up to the cinema hall i heard a woman exclaim painfully looking at the movie poster ' I don't want to watch this movie, Priyanka's looking so hot, she's lost so much weight!'. The lady surely was jealous of the gals body. Some wanna be's must have been admiring John's sculpted body. Some fashionista's must be examining Priyanka's costumes and some must be criticizing Abhishek's look thinking i look much better than him!
Every body had been enchanted by something from the film. I could see a gang of friends identifying with the friendship depicted in the movie while other's only dreaming of having one like that. I could imagine girls identifying with priyankas character being chased by 3 guys and not being able to make a choice. I could see men who had fallen for their best buddy but never been able to muster the courage to confess, relating to Junior Bs and Johns character. I could sense single men looking for a house dreaming of moving in with a woman like Neha. Some career centered women must be aspiring to be in Neha's place while most could have identified with her pathos of being superseded by a new guy for the position she was eying. A lot of women would have identified with her falling for her boss and some could have related to the awkwardness one feels after your best buddy proposes to you.
Since the movie halls near my area are flocked by TV stars and bollywood hotties most often, i could imagine some of them thinking in their minds that they would have done X role much better than Y. All the wanna be's thinking of playing a character like that or staring in a KJo movie some day. Every actor would imagine being the next lead opposite Priyanka!
Its such a mixed bag of emotions and the sheer vividness that one movie can create in each of the viewers heart. I salute the movie makers for the movie going experience and the jet d'eau of emotions they create on screen. More than the movie i enjoyed decoding each person's thought in the hall. Truly enigmatic, bollywood does give each one of us dreams to live for!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Walk of life...
Cold, conscious, alert, susceptible, vulnerable and ridiculed. This is how one feels when one is stripped! I am feeling the same right now.
Like everyone is ridiculing my state right now... like i am a joke and i can see people pointing their fingers at me and laughing out loud, like i am stripped! I have nowhere to run, no place to hide and no one to count on. Like everybody has suddenly turned their backs on me. Oblivion... thats my new address...
Your own friends can become strangers in the walk of life. The hands that you once held can become the hand that pushes you away today. The eyes that were full of love and affection for you once can become so cold one day. Friends whom you swore by once will turn around and curse you! The walk of life... aint as simple as i thot it is... and that is all because of what you are today and not what you actually are since forever.
In the most adverse times of your life, they say is the true test of your friendship and love, for those who stay by your side in your dips are the ones who care to see your ups... and those who get close in your ups are people who are scared of the dips! I may not have had too many ups but i can surely see in the dips who all chose to go away when i was climbing down. I can see who is waiting to console me in my dips. Very few i must say. Success can change perspectives really. But i am surprised it can be that of 'friends' as well. I think we must coin a new term for these short term 'conditions apply' friends. Ummm... how about calling them 'sunflowers'??? Coz they only last till the sun shines! or a better something else....
These sunflowers have all turned around and become nightmares. They have vanished when i needed them most... and am sure am not the only one who has seen times like these... plenty like me coz there are plenty like them too! I may have hurt somebody similarly.. APOLOGIES for it!
Walk of life... from point A to point B i have made many friends.. some strayed away by time, by choice, by circumstance... some i strayed away from! But one request to everyone... never mistake and aquaintanceship with friendship ever... there are emotions attached to the later that could be hurt. For those who stayed on... I VALUE YOU!!! THANKS for being my 'friend'.
Like everyone is ridiculing my state right now... like i am a joke and i can see people pointing their fingers at me and laughing out loud, like i am stripped! I have nowhere to run, no place to hide and no one to count on. Like everybody has suddenly turned their backs on me. Oblivion... thats my new address...
Your own friends can become strangers in the walk of life. The hands that you once held can become the hand that pushes you away today. The eyes that were full of love and affection for you once can become so cold one day. Friends whom you swore by once will turn around and curse you! The walk of life... aint as simple as i thot it is... and that is all because of what you are today and not what you actually are since forever.
In the most adverse times of your life, they say is the true test of your friendship and love, for those who stay by your side in your dips are the ones who care to see your ups... and those who get close in your ups are people who are scared of the dips! I may not have had too many ups but i can surely see in the dips who all chose to go away when i was climbing down. I can see who is waiting to console me in my dips. Very few i must say. Success can change perspectives really. But i am surprised it can be that of 'friends' as well. I think we must coin a new term for these short term 'conditions apply' friends. Ummm... how about calling them 'sunflowers'??? Coz they only last till the sun shines! or a better something else....
These sunflowers have all turned around and become nightmares. They have vanished when i needed them most... and am sure am not the only one who has seen times like these... plenty like me coz there are plenty like them too! I may have hurt somebody similarly.. APOLOGIES for it!
Walk of life... from point A to point B i have made many friends.. some strayed away by time, by choice, by circumstance... some i strayed away from! But one request to everyone... never mistake and aquaintanceship with friendship ever... there are emotions attached to the later that could be hurt. For those who stayed on... I VALUE YOU!!! THANKS for being my 'friend'.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Nightfall
I can't see... i am hazy.. my vision blurred or rather dark, my mind clogged and my head, heavy.
My thoughts have become super fast. My nights are up and awake. Clarity is what i call for. I m scared of darkness. I hate it when i can't see anything and eclipses disorient me. I cannot fight what i can't see.
Diwali is over, the dark is supposed to go. I am waiting for the new moon, some ray of light, some source of energy... It cannot be dark forever. Am taking my chance for now in the dim light. Touching feeling and understanding everything that seems so different in the dark. Simple things look like monsters, shadows appear. I can feel and sense everything around... eerie and cold. Everything but me.
My thoughts have become super fast. My nights are up and awake. Clarity is what i call for. I m scared of darkness. I hate it when i can't see anything and eclipses disorient me. I cannot fight what i can't see.
Diwali is over, the dark is supposed to go. I am waiting for the new moon, some ray of light, some source of energy... It cannot be dark forever. Am taking my chance for now in the dim light. Touching feeling and understanding everything that seems so different in the dark. Simple things look like monsters, shadows appear. I can feel and sense everything around... eerie and cold. Everything but me.
Monday, October 20, 2008
12 months, 1 year
Both happened. In sub sequence of 2 days. Overwhelming joy and sorrow. No complaints really but that's the cycle of life. Nobody can get anything in excess or forever. Nothing is forever. No joy no sorrow.
The joy being the launch of my station in Nagpur after an endless wait. No joy can compare to the feat of launching a new station. We were just recuperating from the brain damaging happiness and i got the news at 2. Gypsy, died. A dog for many who do not understand the affection of pets and a family member for who actually empathise. She was with us for 8 years and that's a long time. I was away, and i thank God for that. Coz i wouldn't have been able to ever get over it had i seen her dying.
I was alone, trying to hide my tears, but why? I love her immensely. I don't get depressed thinking of her today, because she has given me too much joy to think about her and feel sad.
Today completes the 1 year, of not having my pet around of not having to see her when i go back home, of not being loved by and not being asked for. 12 months have passed after the launch of Nagpur on 18th! I am so overjoyed by the fact that this journey has been so amazing and the talent i trained has managed to finally walk it on their own.
I am smiling today. 12 months and the 1 year has passed so soon. Both memories would live forever in my heart. Equally remembered!
The joy being the launch of my station in Nagpur after an endless wait. No joy can compare to the feat of launching a new station. We were just recuperating from the brain damaging happiness and i got the news at 2. Gypsy, died. A dog for many who do not understand the affection of pets and a family member for who actually empathise. She was with us for 8 years and that's a long time. I was away, and i thank God for that. Coz i wouldn't have been able to ever get over it had i seen her dying.
I was alone, trying to hide my tears, but why? I love her immensely. I don't get depressed thinking of her today, because she has given me too much joy to think about her and feel sad.
Today completes the 1 year, of not having my pet around of not having to see her when i go back home, of not being loved by and not being asked for. 12 months have passed after the launch of Nagpur on 18th! I am so overjoyed by the fact that this journey has been so amazing and the talent i trained has managed to finally walk it on their own.
I am smiling today. 12 months and the 1 year has passed so soon. Both memories would live forever in my heart. Equally remembered!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Inconnu
'so that's me, exactly me. I look like me, i smile like me, i even think like me', I was telling myself looking at the mirror. But do i really know myself? Who knows me? Who knows you??? We are inconnu!
Who knows you anyway? We are surrounded by people who constantly tells us how well they know us. Be it your boyfriend/girlfriend, your very close friends, your family, your acquaintances or anybody you meet even for a millisecond. They remember the next time you meet, what food you like, what color you like, what dress you wore and all that trash and it means they know you well. I like it! So convinient. So knowing somebody is basically just about knowing their likes and dislikes, knowing their friends and knowing the exterior! Or is it? So when your friends know you they mean they know what you like or dislike. What do they mean when they say they know you?
Frankly even your parents don't know you completely. No they can't. What they see of you is their child and what you are is something else. You may have a zillion flaws and your parents would voluntarily not notice them only because you are their child. So how well do they know you? Just as much as you know yourself.
All of us infact change according to circumstances; consciously or sub consciously. Plus, all of us grow with our experiences as well. So its not neccesary that we react the same way to the same situation at two different occasions and its completely natural. Does it mean that we have changed? ummm... may be yes, may be not! Our choices, likes and dislikes... our decisions and so many other things so depend on the today we are living in that i may have planned the biggest house on a particular land and just when i start digging the foundation i may find an oil reserve and start a petrol pump there! Have i changed????
What we are in front of our parents we are not in front of the friends and not the same in front of our collegues and not all in front of strangers and neither knows how you are in front of the other. So if we have so many different facets in just one personality who would you say knows you thouroughly? You??? Would you know if you'd react the same way to the same thing at two different time zones? Damn!
I was watching big boss (yes i watch it regularly and if i may say... i am a fan!) i realised how everybody was totally contrary to what i percieved of them or how they showed. Like a payal was the biggest shock to me... somebody who pretends to be sober and demure suddenly became this stupid bimbette who is so suffering from attention deficit syndrome that she couldn't look straight into people's eyes without looking through them at the camera once. Her sly and cheap side am sure even her parent's din't know of. Raja! Sambhavna? Did their parents know they abused so much!
Nobody can know you in moments they spend with you. I don't know myself in the life i have spent with me... i dunno how i'd be tomorrow... all i know is i am not wanting to know myself anymore... its beautiful see everytihng unfold gradually to know the various magical aspects of yourself. I like it... sorry but nobody knows me... nobody knows you either... we are all Inconnu!
Who knows you anyway? We are surrounded by people who constantly tells us how well they know us. Be it your boyfriend/girlfriend, your very close friends, your family, your acquaintances or anybody you meet even for a millisecond. They remember the next time you meet, what food you like, what color you like, what dress you wore and all that trash and it means they know you well. I like it! So convinient. So knowing somebody is basically just about knowing their likes and dislikes, knowing their friends and knowing the exterior! Or is it? So when your friends know you they mean they know what you like or dislike. What do they mean when they say they know you?
Frankly even your parents don't know you completely. No they can't. What they see of you is their child and what you are is something else. You may have a zillion flaws and your parents would voluntarily not notice them only because you are their child. So how well do they know you? Just as much as you know yourself.
All of us infact change according to circumstances; consciously or sub consciously. Plus, all of us grow with our experiences as well. So its not neccesary that we react the same way to the same situation at two different occasions and its completely natural. Does it mean that we have changed? ummm... may be yes, may be not! Our choices, likes and dislikes... our decisions and so many other things so depend on the today we are living in that i may have planned the biggest house on a particular land and just when i start digging the foundation i may find an oil reserve and start a petrol pump there! Have i changed????
What we are in front of our parents we are not in front of the friends and not the same in front of our collegues and not all in front of strangers and neither knows how you are in front of the other. So if we have so many different facets in just one personality who would you say knows you thouroughly? You??? Would you know if you'd react the same way to the same thing at two different time zones? Damn!
I was watching big boss (yes i watch it regularly and if i may say... i am a fan!) i realised how everybody was totally contrary to what i percieved of them or how they showed. Like a payal was the biggest shock to me... somebody who pretends to be sober and demure suddenly became this stupid bimbette who is so suffering from attention deficit syndrome that she couldn't look straight into people's eyes without looking through them at the camera once. Her sly and cheap side am sure even her parent's din't know of. Raja! Sambhavna? Did their parents know they abused so much!
Nobody can know you in moments they spend with you. I don't know myself in the life i have spent with me... i dunno how i'd be tomorrow... all i know is i am not wanting to know myself anymore... its beautiful see everytihng unfold gradually to know the various magical aspects of yourself. I like it... sorry but nobody knows me... nobody knows you either... we are all Inconnu!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
PARADOX
There i was sitting and waiting for my friend to arrive just outside Cafe Mondegar. The dholki wala trying to sell me dholaks almost convincing me that i can be the next Himesh with it, the tee shirt wala trying to make me feel better telling me that the tiny tee shirt is ACTUALLY my size and the taxi walas slowing down as if i were waiting there for them.
Across the road at a distance i saw a boy and a girl, in a rather uncomfortable position, just behind where the pan wala was. I was stunned for a moment thinking what the two must be really thinking to be be doing what they were doing on the road in full public view. This aint like Big Boss where such works for TRP's. I noticed around nobody was paying much attention to it making me look like one villager. I was embarrassed, shocked, intimidated, curious and all that all together. I stretched my toes to get a better view to satiate my curiosity and a dholak wala din't like me playing bad cop. I was a bit anxious now to know what exactly was going on like most villagers like me would be. Its natural, no need to squeeze the nose in disgust!
So when i was fully concentrating upon trying to know how far the story has gone across the road i got pushed and shoved and thrown down the road. Bloody tourists!!! When i found my balance WHATEVER happened was the same! Argh! They were just standing in front of each other and bloody sipping coconut water from the same damn fruit! I was so disgusted with myself actually and embarrassed, shocked and all that shit again. Such a small shift in perspective and what i saw was in completely and totally different.
After a really long time i called this chap whom i had not gotten in touch with for many many years assuming he doesn't like me. I always thought he had something against me. I had some work with him today and i had to ring him up and much to my surprise he was very very nice. Totally contrary to what i expected, our conversation was superb! Its like what you expect and the exact opposite happens----- PARADOX!!!
A glass half empty to you may look like half full to somebody. A black cloud may look like thunderstorm to one or much needed rain to others. Darkness may look like the end to one but may look like the beginning of a brighter day to the other. Your eyes deceive you don't they? What you see with one eye gives you only depth, with the other eye gives you only dimension or distance. When you see with both your eyes wide open is when you get the clear picture. Am glad i opened both my eyes and gave him a call. I am glad about this paradoxical turn out. I would have been so wrong to have assumed what i assumed forever and never made an effort to rectify my vision. I'm glad i was pushed from the footpath to correct what i was thinking is wrong! I hope everybody gets a chance like that.
Across the road at a distance i saw a boy and a girl, in a rather uncomfortable position, just behind where the pan wala was. I was stunned for a moment thinking what the two must be really thinking to be be doing what they were doing on the road in full public view. This aint like Big Boss where such works for TRP's. I noticed around nobody was paying much attention to it making me look like one villager. I was embarrassed, shocked, intimidated, curious and all that all together. I stretched my toes to get a better view to satiate my curiosity and a dholak wala din't like me playing bad cop. I was a bit anxious now to know what exactly was going on like most villagers like me would be. Its natural, no need to squeeze the nose in disgust!
So when i was fully concentrating upon trying to know how far the story has gone across the road i got pushed and shoved and thrown down the road. Bloody tourists!!! When i found my balance WHATEVER happened was the same! Argh! They were just standing in front of each other and bloody sipping coconut water from the same damn fruit! I was so disgusted with myself actually and embarrassed, shocked and all that shit again. Such a small shift in perspective and what i saw was in completely and totally different.
After a really long time i called this chap whom i had not gotten in touch with for many many years assuming he doesn't like me. I always thought he had something against me. I had some work with him today and i had to ring him up and much to my surprise he was very very nice. Totally contrary to what i expected, our conversation was superb! Its like what you expect and the exact opposite happens----- PARADOX!!!
A glass half empty to you may look like half full to somebody. A black cloud may look like thunderstorm to one or much needed rain to others. Darkness may look like the end to one but may look like the beginning of a brighter day to the other. Your eyes deceive you don't they? What you see with one eye gives you only depth, with the other eye gives you only dimension or distance. When you see with both your eyes wide open is when you get the clear picture. Am glad i opened both my eyes and gave him a call. I am glad about this paradoxical turn out. I would have been so wrong to have assumed what i assumed forever and never made an effort to rectify my vision. I'm glad i was pushed from the footpath to correct what i was thinking is wrong! I hope everybody gets a chance like that.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Makes me Happy
There is nothing to beat the aroma of piping hot adrak ki chai. Its so amazing that it has really no equal. It instantly brings a smile to my face.
The other day i was thinking, its so easy to cheer me up. One cup of thadakti bhadakti adrak ki chai and am set! On my way back home i drool over the fragrance of sea food. I love sea food.... nothing to describe in any language how much love it. I have tried uncountable times to give up non vegetarian food, but i couldn't give up eating fish. I try to console myself by saying that fish ain't non veg in some parts of the world, but yaeah! we dont live in those parts unfortunately.
For some reason i love vada paav. Its the simplest food item on any menu but can refuel you instantly. Like you can't go wrong with a Vada paav really! All burgers and sandwiches are inspired by this numero uno fast food item!
My roomie came back from Hong kong last week and just as i asked for she got me wrist watches. Yes Watches...two of them... so my count has gone up ummm... lemme count.... the black... the studded... the metal... ya the two pinks and 3 blues... 2 brown...... I guess i have 38 in total now.... 38 WRIST WATCHES! I am an accessory freak, particularly wrist watches. I dont remember when this fad caught on to become an addiction, but there was a time when i had to pick up a watch no matter what every time i went shopping. Most of my watches have stopped working, gone bad... damaged beyond repair all because i have so many that i can't wear them all together. I wish had more hands to wear them all.
Just how small these things are but can change my mood drastically and almost instantly!
The other day i was thinking, its so easy to cheer me up. One cup of thadakti bhadakti adrak ki chai and am set! On my way back home i drool over the fragrance of sea food. I love sea food.... nothing to describe in any language how much love it. I have tried uncountable times to give up non vegetarian food, but i couldn't give up eating fish. I try to console myself by saying that fish ain't non veg in some parts of the world, but yaeah! we dont live in those parts unfortunately.
For some reason i love vada paav. Its the simplest food item on any menu but can refuel you instantly. Like you can't go wrong with a Vada paav really! All burgers and sandwiches are inspired by this numero uno fast food item!
My roomie came back from Hong kong last week and just as i asked for she got me wrist watches. Yes Watches...two of them... so my count has gone up ummm... lemme count.... the black... the studded... the metal... ya the two pinks and 3 blues... 2 brown...... I guess i have 38 in total now.... 38 WRIST WATCHES! I am an accessory freak, particularly wrist watches. I dont remember when this fad caught on to become an addiction, but there was a time when i had to pick up a watch no matter what every time i went shopping. Most of my watches have stopped working, gone bad... damaged beyond repair all because i have so many that i can't wear them all together. I wish had more hands to wear them all.
Just how small these things are but can change my mood drastically and almost instantly!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Dark Nights
' Salman Khan issued Fatwah for celebrating Ganesh Utsav'
' Goons bring down a cinema hall following strong comments by Jaya Bachchan'
' 10 killed in missile attack in Pakistan'
‘ 20 killed in Delhi serial blasts, many left injured’
What is happening? Since when did God in the name of religion and power teach us violence? Which religion in the world teaches it follower violence or hatred? Who gives this handful of nuisance makers the right to kill in the name of religion? And for whom do they kill? Terrorism has become the biggest issue in the world and every country is fighting it in its own way. Terror in the name of power, in the name of religion, in the name of money isn’t unheard of in any continent now. The future looks so bleak so dark and suffocating that it’s difficult to breath the same air as these so called ‘terrorists’.
Religion. So easily distorted. It’s perhaps the only thing that can bind numerous people in faith and divide them on the same factor. Religion, so individually driven so deeply engraved in our minds that one raging thought can devastate a whole community. It’s so easy to hit the soft spot because we are vulnerable to religion and our beliefs in it. A couple of people know exactly how to hit the spot and most of us fools who are in obvious majority fall for it. We let the terrorists take over minds despite being the majority. Aren’t we fools?
There are countable terrorists in the world. Let’s count the big ones that are world terror: Osama? Dawood? Saddam (who’s dead now!) and a few terror groups that too countable on the fingers of our hand. How many of us who are anti terror???? Zillions??? Is it so hard to combat what is going on? Is it really the future we have decided for ourselves? Why to work and earn when we shall eventually die at the hands of a few mad caps who know where and when to hit our emotions and spread terror? Its hard to believe that the biggies of the world, the intelligence of the world and the smartest and most vigilant police forces cannot locate one single radical. We can let thousands of people die for one groups’ selfish and lunatic interest? Weird!!! That’s all I feel.
They train 11 year olds to kill people and we teach our 11 year olds to sit and cry over it. So funny! Not that we should give them guns and teach them how to kill, but can we teach them better values and how to deal with a world like this? Visualize a world when our kids will have commando security to even play in the park. Imagine schools teaching how to operate and AK 47 or it’s advanced versions then, the children making miniature atomic bombs in science labs and then dividing their groups into religious differences and making friends only with children of their belief! That’s scary.
Terror isn’t a feeling we want to live with. Today am scared of going out alone in crowded places not knowing if I’d return safely. Thanks to a few mad guys. If they can cohesively ruin the world and make our lives miserable, we can get together to fight it. We cannot afford to play dumb like they cannot afford to rest.
' Goons bring down a cinema hall following strong comments by Jaya Bachchan'
' 10 killed in missile attack in Pakistan'
‘ 20 killed in Delhi serial blasts, many left injured’
What is happening? Since when did God in the name of religion and power teach us violence? Which religion in the world teaches it follower violence or hatred? Who gives this handful of nuisance makers the right to kill in the name of religion? And for whom do they kill? Terrorism has become the biggest issue in the world and every country is fighting it in its own way. Terror in the name of power, in the name of religion, in the name of money isn’t unheard of in any continent now. The future looks so bleak so dark and suffocating that it’s difficult to breath the same air as these so called ‘terrorists’.
Religion. So easily distorted. It’s perhaps the only thing that can bind numerous people in faith and divide them on the same factor. Religion, so individually driven so deeply engraved in our minds that one raging thought can devastate a whole community. It’s so easy to hit the soft spot because we are vulnerable to religion and our beliefs in it. A couple of people know exactly how to hit the spot and most of us fools who are in obvious majority fall for it. We let the terrorists take over minds despite being the majority. Aren’t we fools?
There are countable terrorists in the world. Let’s count the big ones that are world terror: Osama? Dawood? Saddam (who’s dead now!) and a few terror groups that too countable on the fingers of our hand. How many of us who are anti terror???? Zillions??? Is it so hard to combat what is going on? Is it really the future we have decided for ourselves? Why to work and earn when we shall eventually die at the hands of a few mad caps who know where and when to hit our emotions and spread terror? Its hard to believe that the biggies of the world, the intelligence of the world and the smartest and most vigilant police forces cannot locate one single radical. We can let thousands of people die for one groups’ selfish and lunatic interest? Weird!!! That’s all I feel.
They train 11 year olds to kill people and we teach our 11 year olds to sit and cry over it. So funny! Not that we should give them guns and teach them how to kill, but can we teach them better values and how to deal with a world like this? Visualize a world when our kids will have commando security to even play in the park. Imagine schools teaching how to operate and AK 47 or it’s advanced versions then, the children making miniature atomic bombs in science labs and then dividing their groups into religious differences and making friends only with children of their belief! That’s scary.
Terror isn’t a feeling we want to live with. Today am scared of going out alone in crowded places not knowing if I’d return safely. Thanks to a few mad guys. If they can cohesively ruin the world and make our lives miserable, we can get together to fight it. We cannot afford to play dumb like they cannot afford to rest.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Unspoken Words
How often do we start talking and the talk leads to discussions lead to debates lead to arguments lead to fights lead to no talk anymore!
Simple words all of them, can turn the simplest of discussions to big fights. When our conversations begin we so carefully choose our words and when we loose this control is exactly when conversations become chaos. Its so totally subconscious. Simple words have no direction or soul of their own. Words are what we make of them. Words have the power to make statements and memorable lines. They also have the power to break hearts and ruin lives. They can be harsh, they can be mild they can sooth and shock at the same time.
Words are best preserved and used only when they'r really required. Sometimes silence needs to do the talking. Silence, can compensate for a zillion spoken words. The silence that is uneasy, calming, reassuring, romantic, eerie and sometimes an answer to most questions. That's the toughest to read. Unspoken words, are silence.
Silence is the best language to avoid most brash ending word conversations. Learn this new language! You are sure to find answers to so many questions that were unanswered for so long...discover aspects about yourself that you otherwise would have wasted in words.
Simple words all of them, can turn the simplest of discussions to big fights. When our conversations begin we so carefully choose our words and when we loose this control is exactly when conversations become chaos. Its so totally subconscious. Simple words have no direction or soul of their own. Words are what we make of them. Words have the power to make statements and memorable lines. They also have the power to break hearts and ruin lives. They can be harsh, they can be mild they can sooth and shock at the same time.
Words are best preserved and used only when they'r really required. Sometimes silence needs to do the talking. Silence, can compensate for a zillion spoken words. The silence that is uneasy, calming, reassuring, romantic, eerie and sometimes an answer to most questions. That's the toughest to read. Unspoken words, are silence.
Silence is the best language to avoid most brash ending word conversations. Learn this new language! You are sure to find answers to so many questions that were unanswered for so long...discover aspects about yourself that you otherwise would have wasted in words.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Sex and the City
Its not funny to be living in a city so full of orgasms, where anything and everything can make you high and vis a vis. First when i was in a smaller city, i had nothing to do becoz of the lack of options. Things haven't changed as i had presumed, on the contrary they have worsened due to abundance of options. I don't know what to do!
Thats the hitch of a big city. Every murky lane to all the Illuminati, everything is orgasmic. I may behave like an idiot from the remotest tribe coming to a big city for the first time but honestly for anybody, so much glamor is a little unpalatable. Makes you feel like a small insignificant fragment in the big universe and nobody likes it.
The harms and charms of this city have been counted a million times before but when the solitude hits you, thats when you feel totally strange. Even the next door neighbor seems miles away. You jump out of joy meeting even the zero est of people who could possibly know you. It hurts when the crowd hits you on your shoulder and passes by when you're still standing there trying to find directions. Funny how people still manage too cuddle up in auto rickshaws and make out in abandoned structures. I reassures there is still some emotion left here. You walk out at 11 in the night and women would still dress up like its 11 am and manage to look fresh despite of a long tiring day.
I had not experienced this before in my life since i left the city as a child and have come back to be shocked and bedazzled. The late nights are usually reserved for the ambiguous beings. Flashy red and greens goldens and blacks.... electric blues and silvers around shady corners trying to find their weekly/ daily catch for a living, are a usual sight. I feel sometimes that life is all about 'that' for some( most rather!) people. For everything they do will eventually lead to 'it' somehow. They dark nights are reserved for them and everybody around me suddenly seems to be looking for 'it'. I have no problem with 'it' but its strange how a city can make it so easily available and acceptable and the whole of mankind can depend on it. In Wiccan philosophy 'it' means awakening of senses. This really makes me feel why do we need currency if everything is based on 'its' give and take?
Nevertheless, the city comes alive with every festivity, becomes dark with every off season. All that glitters are the clothes and neons that call out attention! For me, i'd still want to be that one living being walking around with toned down clothes deriving fun out of other peoples orgasmic deeds. By orgasm i really mean the excitement.
Thats the hitch of a big city. Every murky lane to all the Illuminati, everything is orgasmic. I may behave like an idiot from the remotest tribe coming to a big city for the first time but honestly for anybody, so much glamor is a little unpalatable. Makes you feel like a small insignificant fragment in the big universe and nobody likes it.
The harms and charms of this city have been counted a million times before but when the solitude hits you, thats when you feel totally strange. Even the next door neighbor seems miles away. You jump out of joy meeting even the zero est of people who could possibly know you. It hurts when the crowd hits you on your shoulder and passes by when you're still standing there trying to find directions. Funny how people still manage too cuddle up in auto rickshaws and make out in abandoned structures. I reassures there is still some emotion left here. You walk out at 11 in the night and women would still dress up like its 11 am and manage to look fresh despite of a long tiring day.
I had not experienced this before in my life since i left the city as a child and have come back to be shocked and bedazzled. The late nights are usually reserved for the ambiguous beings. Flashy red and greens goldens and blacks.... electric blues and silvers around shady corners trying to find their weekly/ daily catch for a living, are a usual sight. I feel sometimes that life is all about 'that' for some( most rather!) people. For everything they do will eventually lead to 'it' somehow. They dark nights are reserved for them and everybody around me suddenly seems to be looking for 'it'. I have no problem with 'it' but its strange how a city can make it so easily available and acceptable and the whole of mankind can depend on it. In Wiccan philosophy 'it' means awakening of senses. This really makes me feel why do we need currency if everything is based on 'its' give and take?
Nevertheless, the city comes alive with every festivity, becomes dark with every off season. All that glitters are the clothes and neons that call out attention! For me, i'd still want to be that one living being walking around with toned down clothes deriving fun out of other peoples orgasmic deeds. By orgasm i really mean the excitement.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I Do
One more ready to walk the aisle. The wedding bells and the vows. Its wedding season approaching and i sniff in the air what will happen in Oct/Nov/Dec. I will unfortunately have to disappoint a lot of my friends by not attending their weddings and its not because of any other reason but the very fact that i am scared of them.
Its overwhelming to see weddings in a lot of sense. One i feel 'Thats it!' two i feel its a long clumsy affair. No matter how much you spend and do for others its always less. Not a single wedding i have attended where people do not crib about something or the other. All they like to do is dress up gaudily and sulk about other's appearances and money. Three i feel its nerve wrecking more for the girl coz her world changes completely. Four, Indian weddings are way to expensive and loud and that makes them even scarier. And five, most aunty's are on a look out with hawk eyes for 'suitable/marriageable' bakras to fix them up with some arbit distant relative of theirs. Albeit its a memory of a life time for the two who get married (Positive and negative) i hate attending weddings for all these simple reasons.
Am not anti institution, its just that some things are not made for some people and attending weddings is totally not for me. But to think of it, its perhaps the most cherished dream for a woman. Every woman no matter what socio economic class she belongs to, has a dream wedding in her mind and a dream life. That includes me. I wouldn't lie. Two of my friends got married early this year, 4 would tie the knot this year end... one after the other all of them would be gone... wish them all a very good life and happiness.
Its overwhelming to see weddings in a lot of sense. One i feel 'Thats it!' two i feel its a long clumsy affair. No matter how much you spend and do for others its always less. Not a single wedding i have attended where people do not crib about something or the other. All they like to do is dress up gaudily and sulk about other's appearances and money. Three i feel its nerve wrecking more for the girl coz her world changes completely. Four, Indian weddings are way to expensive and loud and that makes them even scarier. And five, most aunty's are on a look out with hawk eyes for 'suitable/marriageable' bakras to fix them up with some arbit distant relative of theirs. Albeit its a memory of a life time for the two who get married (Positive and negative) i hate attending weddings for all these simple reasons.
Am not anti institution, its just that some things are not made for some people and attending weddings is totally not for me. But to think of it, its perhaps the most cherished dream for a woman. Every woman no matter what socio economic class she belongs to, has a dream wedding in her mind and a dream life. That includes me. I wouldn't lie. Two of my friends got married early this year, 4 would tie the knot this year end... one after the other all of them would be gone... wish them all a very good life and happiness.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Mumbai Meri Jaan
We all think it cannot happen to us... we all feel constantly that we cannot be victims, we all are fools to be thinking so, because tragedy doesn't care what you think, who you are and what you want to become. Tragedy has its own fate written that can go against anybody's fate! Stop thinking it can't hit you.
I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan last night and it made me think how unsure and insecure life is actually. Today we are relaxed, thinking about my future. We have invested money in insurance policies, saved enough for dry days ahead but we never know how soon and when the dry day will come in our life. Disaster or tragedy has no sound... it doesnt ring alarms before it arrives... After watching the movie i am worried how my tomorrow will be. The tomorrow that i am working hard for today,the tomorrow that is the most cherished dream that i wish will come true someday... a tomorrow that perhaps will never be!?
The movie has touched my senses in all ways. I felt tears in my eyes on watching a movie, after a really long time. Compelling direction and stunning performances have brought out the bright side of the blasts unlike most movies that leave it in the dark. For me the movie wasn't about the blasts, it was about conquests! Personal conquests... that over fear and insecurities. Fear of being scared, fear of losing your dear ones, fear of doing something that you want to do, fear of not being accepted for who you are, fear of accepting the truth, fear of being who you are. The tragedy is just a backdrop that stimulates these fears and surfaces them in the name of a blast. The protagonists fight their personal fears to come out as heroes.
The crux of it all lies in just the one dialogue that Paresh Rawal says to KK (i'd leave it to you all to watch the film and figure) and sums up how most things violent and unpleasant can come to an end. Its scary to think of a future where the next generation will be born with blast sounds around and get use to it like we are right now use to honking of vehicles. Just a vision of the world full of terrorism sens shivers down my spine. Like they show in the movies, the universal tint will be yellow because the sun will have to find its way down to earth through the thick could of smoke from bombs. there would be only ramshackle houses and buildings and people would be living underground without food and water supplies. Children would play with shells and gun powder... schools will teach how to use weapons. There would be only army people guarding their territories fiercely and all the Osama's of the world would have the last laugh. It all started with a Blue planet and will end into a red! Tomorrow is coming sooner than the blink of an eye!
I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan last night and it made me think how unsure and insecure life is actually. Today we are relaxed, thinking about my future. We have invested money in insurance policies, saved enough for dry days ahead but we never know how soon and when the dry day will come in our life. Disaster or tragedy has no sound... it doesnt ring alarms before it arrives... After watching the movie i am worried how my tomorrow will be. The tomorrow that i am working hard for today,the tomorrow that is the most cherished dream that i wish will come true someday... a tomorrow that perhaps will never be!?
The movie has touched my senses in all ways. I felt tears in my eyes on watching a movie, after a really long time. Compelling direction and stunning performances have brought out the bright side of the blasts unlike most movies that leave it in the dark. For me the movie wasn't about the blasts, it was about conquests! Personal conquests... that over fear and insecurities. Fear of being scared, fear of losing your dear ones, fear of doing something that you want to do, fear of not being accepted for who you are, fear of accepting the truth, fear of being who you are. The tragedy is just a backdrop that stimulates these fears and surfaces them in the name of a blast. The protagonists fight their personal fears to come out as heroes.
The crux of it all lies in just the one dialogue that Paresh Rawal says to KK (i'd leave it to you all to watch the film and figure) and sums up how most things violent and unpleasant can come to an end. Its scary to think of a future where the next generation will be born with blast sounds around and get use to it like we are right now use to honking of vehicles. Just a vision of the world full of terrorism sens shivers down my spine. Like they show in the movies, the universal tint will be yellow because the sun will have to find its way down to earth through the thick could of smoke from bombs. there would be only ramshackle houses and buildings and people would be living underground without food and water supplies. Children would play with shells and gun powder... schools will teach how to use weapons. There would be only army people guarding their territories fiercely and all the Osama's of the world would have the last laugh. It all started with a Blue planet and will end into a red! Tomorrow is coming sooner than the blink of an eye!
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Monday, August 25, 2008
God is Sold
It struck me at 10pm... i quickly had dinner and changed into more 'temple' like clothes and left for Hare Rama Hare Krishna temple. I am glad its just a few minutes away from home but i knew the que would be long and tiring. i reached at 11 just to see the mad rush and festivities. Its fun to be part of celebrations anywhere.
As i approached the temple premise the sound of bhajan and aarti grew stronger. People rushing towards to the temple in flocks to catch a good glimpse of the Lord whose birthday it was. Everybody had a fulfilling smile on their face like it was their own child's birthday. The vicinity was buzzing with chants and takes you into a trance. Well, i walked up to the temple and couldnt find the entrance so i checked with the inquiry. The first question they asked me was 'do you have a pass?' i said 'what pass?' he said pass as in VIP Pass? i said no... why would one need a VIP pass for a temple darshan? he bluntly and rudely said 'madam udhar jao... aapka line udhar hai'. I was hurt.. no because he spoke rudely to me but because he just sold God to a few privileged who had cannot stand in the line perhaps are too lazy and want even God to differentiate between his disciples. I got in and as i entered the discrimination was evident. A special line for pass holders that went straight to the where the idol was and for us petty people we had to make good with a few meters away from God, with people behind us pushing us forward and squishing us in the line. Nice! I am so happy to see even God is sold today. Clear and apparent demarcation between the rich and petty... women loaded with jewelery and money made it straight to the idol... gave hordes of donations and left in chauffeur driven Mercs.
Does it make them special to God? Does it mean that they gain closer access to God? Does it mean that God will be more attentive to their lives and bless them with special kindness? What does this VIP pass mean after all? We have really commercialized temples and God to our convenience. Its a sad state... one place where if he doesnt differentiate why should we? But the fact is God is Sold... actually our souls are sold!
As i approached the temple premise the sound of bhajan and aarti grew stronger. People rushing towards to the temple in flocks to catch a good glimpse of the Lord whose birthday it was. Everybody had a fulfilling smile on their face like it was their own child's birthday. The vicinity was buzzing with chants and takes you into a trance. Well, i walked up to the temple and couldnt find the entrance so i checked with the inquiry. The first question they asked me was 'do you have a pass?' i said 'what pass?' he said pass as in VIP Pass? i said no... why would one need a VIP pass for a temple darshan? he bluntly and rudely said 'madam udhar jao... aapka line udhar hai'. I was hurt.. no because he spoke rudely to me but because he just sold God to a few privileged who had cannot stand in the line perhaps are too lazy and want even God to differentiate between his disciples. I got in and as i entered the discrimination was evident. A special line for pass holders that went straight to the where the idol was and for us petty people we had to make good with a few meters away from God, with people behind us pushing us forward and squishing us in the line. Nice! I am so happy to see even God is sold today. Clear and apparent demarcation between the rich and petty... women loaded with jewelery and money made it straight to the idol... gave hordes of donations and left in chauffeur driven Mercs.
Does it make them special to God? Does it mean that they gain closer access to God? Does it mean that God will be more attentive to their lives and bless them with special kindness? What does this VIP pass mean after all? We have really commercialized temples and God to our convenience. Its a sad state... one place where if he doesnt differentiate why should we? But the fact is God is Sold... actually our souls are sold!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Kalam Ruk Gayi
Fir kalam chalte chalte ruk gayi
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
Kabhi socha nahi tha
Likhne se pehle
Ke aaj kya likhenge
Saaf kaagaz par
Dimag ke fitur ko likhne ki koshish hoti hai
Jo shuru kiya dil ka haal likhna
To kalam chalte chalte ruk gayi
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
Kabhi socha nahi tha
Likhne se pehle
Ke aaj kya likhenge
Saaf kaagaz par
Dimag ke fitur ko likhne ki koshish hoti hai
Jo shuru kiya dil ka haal likhna
To kalam chalte chalte ruk gayi
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
the restless mind
and they lived happily ever after...
Ya that's a Cinderella ending anybody would wish for. All's well that ends well... but what if it doesnt end? Its vicious sometime... don't you feel like the hamster in the treadmill who keeps running endlessly without realising his run will never end, unless he decides to jump out. And sometimes thats the solution. Sometimes when the world is round you have to find another shape to fit yourself in.
Me and my roomie have spent all of today just lazing around in the house. Practially done nothing but punch in our laptops all day... i played games... she was editing her movie and i was rotting in my mind. This cycle of thots is endless. I cannot divert my mind elsewhere today and this has been like it for many days now. Just constant thots about everything and anything its almost garbage. This can't be called 'thinking' because that is voluntary but with me its an automated process. The moment i wake up my mind picks up at 440kmph in a second and it only stops when i sleep. I dont remember my dreams thats because my mind or the sub-conscious has no one thot to weave a dream about!
Like i said i rarely get headaches and thats only when i am supremely stressed, i can't sit down to begin de-stressing myself bcoz my mind begins to wander. In a psychologists term i am going mad.
Not everything has a happy ending... somethings just end.. without a thot or emotion. Thats when too many emotions go into it and suddenly it becomes too overbearing. The hurt, the pain, the tears, the joy, the smile and simple things attached are no longer special. I actually believe (still) that everything has a happy ending... if its not happy its not the end... but may be somethings dont end either. They just dissolve. Meaninglessly... somethings never end....
Nevertheless, these fleeting thots i know can be put to rest only when i want to, i want to put an end to it but i can't catch hold of a single thot, the thots just keep going on and dont stop... but i know only i can stop my thots but....
Ya that's a Cinderella ending anybody would wish for. All's well that ends well... but what if it doesnt end? Its vicious sometime... don't you feel like the hamster in the treadmill who keeps running endlessly without realising his run will never end, unless he decides to jump out. And sometimes thats the solution. Sometimes when the world is round you have to find another shape to fit yourself in.
Me and my roomie have spent all of today just lazing around in the house. Practially done nothing but punch in our laptops all day... i played games... she was editing her movie and i was rotting in my mind. This cycle of thots is endless. I cannot divert my mind elsewhere today and this has been like it for many days now. Just constant thots about everything and anything its almost garbage. This can't be called 'thinking' because that is voluntary but with me its an automated process. The moment i wake up my mind picks up at 440kmph in a second and it only stops when i sleep. I dont remember my dreams thats because my mind or the sub-conscious has no one thot to weave a dream about!
Like i said i rarely get headaches and thats only when i am supremely stressed, i can't sit down to begin de-stressing myself bcoz my mind begins to wander. In a psychologists term i am going mad.
Not everything has a happy ending... somethings just end.. without a thot or emotion. Thats when too many emotions go into it and suddenly it becomes too overbearing. The hurt, the pain, the tears, the joy, the smile and simple things attached are no longer special. I actually believe (still) that everything has a happy ending... if its not happy its not the end... but may be somethings dont end either. They just dissolve. Meaninglessly... somethings never end....
Nevertheless, these fleeting thots i know can be put to rest only when i want to, i want to put an end to it but i can't catch hold of a single thot, the thots just keep going on and dont stop... but i know only i can stop my thots but....
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Men-tal things
Just back from a sumptuous dinner at Trishna. Somebody else had a feast at our cost tonyt... this uncle from US of the A (on some other table. I'd be rather embarrassed to have an uncle like him)! He chewed on our brains for a good 2 hours until we left, he paid for the food and drinks and chewed on us for free. He was so high and so loud that everybody, by the time each one of us left, would have known all his distance kins. I know by now that he lives in New Jersey with his family, he likes Houston and thinks its the best place to live in outside India, its good that his sister did not sell off her New York property and that the board outside CST spelt 'shit' instead 'sheet' in hindi!
Men can be such sham sometimes i feel. They feel they are the best bred species on the planet and nothing is wrong with them but thats not true! Have you ever noticed things about men in general?
> Men take longer than women to dress up! and the dressing up begins with 30 mins of crap time!
> Men will never admit to having an ego but strike the wrong and then see the fun!
> Men gossip as much as women do, i guess more sometimes
> When a man enters a pub/public place, he will glance through the space and check out every girl magically with the corner of his eyes. And that is even if he has a girlfriend around his arms
> Every man likes to be admired but they don't admit to it.
> this is something i have observed in almost all men alike. Whenever they see a mirror or anything that reflects they HAVE to stand by and brush their hair or crease their shirt. Its so awesomely funny...
Men when they are drunk are the funniest species on earth i swear! it's such a show that i'd stay up to see all the fun. So many times my friends got drunk and had the same things to say over and over again that i almost know what will come next...the most common things i've heard are
> Tu toh mera bhai hai bhai
> Tu mera sachha yaar hai
> Merko chadhi nahi hai... yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai, main to aur bhi pii sakta hoon!
> Saala aa tujhe batata hoon... himmat hai to aa...teri toh *&%#@#&(
> Main tujhse ek dil ki baat kehna chahta hoon...
> jeevan mithya hai baaki sab ch^$%^% hai...
> maa ki aankh duniyadari ki..Bhaad mein jaaye duniya(3rd peg)
> phir phone nahi utha rahi...(4th peg)
Well anyway... i am darn sleepy ryt now, i rarely get headaches and my temples are pounding ryt now. Need to sleep to fix it!
Men can be such sham sometimes i feel. They feel they are the best bred species on the planet and nothing is wrong with them but thats not true! Have you ever noticed things about men in general?
> Men take longer than women to dress up! and the dressing up begins with 30 mins of crap time!
> Men will never admit to having an ego but strike the wrong and then see the fun!
> Men gossip as much as women do, i guess more sometimes
> When a man enters a pub/public place, he will glance through the space and check out every girl magically with the corner of his eyes. And that is even if he has a girlfriend around his arms
> Every man likes to be admired but they don't admit to it.
> this is something i have observed in almost all men alike. Whenever they see a mirror or anything that reflects they HAVE to stand by and brush their hair or crease their shirt. Its so awesomely funny...
Men when they are drunk are the funniest species on earth i swear! it's such a show that i'd stay up to see all the fun. So many times my friends got drunk and had the same things to say over and over again that i almost know what will come next...the most common things i've heard are
> Tu toh mera bhai hai bhai
> Tu mera sachha yaar hai
> Merko chadhi nahi hai... yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai, main to aur bhi pii sakta hoon!
> Saala aa tujhe batata hoon... himmat hai to aa...teri toh *&%#@#&(
> Main tujhse ek dil ki baat kehna chahta hoon...
> jeevan mithya hai baaki sab ch^$%^% hai...
> maa ki aankh duniyadari ki..Bhaad mein jaaye duniya(3rd peg)
> phir phone nahi utha rahi...(4th peg)
Well anyway... i am darn sleepy ryt now, i rarely get headaches and my temples are pounding ryt now. Need to sleep to fix it!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Raat
Raat…
Gehri raat
Kaali raat
Andheri raat
Mayoos raat
Sadko pe sirf kutte hain
Gine chune do log hain
Nukkad pe beedi cigarette
Aur kambal odhe footpath par palte sapne
Kitni ghinoni hai raat
Kitni manhoos hai raat
Na kuch dikhta hai na
Kuch samjhta hai… bas kaali raat
Din achha hai…
Sab dikhta hai
Bhale hi woh chhalava ho
Aur andhere se bhi gehri andhapan ho
Magar din achha hai!
Kyon din pasand hai?
Sirf roshni ke liye?
Shayad raat ko dekhne ka nazariya badal do
To raat bhi achhi lagey
Na bhoolein
Jo din, din bhar thakata hai
Wahin raat chain dilate hai
Jo din aankh moondne ka waqt nahi deta
Wahi raat ko sapne ka shahar basata hai
To raat buri kahan hui?
Shayad humein hi andhere se darr lagta ho
Kyonki humne gehrayi mein jhaankne ki aadat nahi rahi
Raat…
Gehri kaali andheri ho ya mayoos
Din ke ujalon ko chutti dekar do pal sulati hai raat
Taaki uske jaane par fir subah ho sakey.
Gehri raat
Kaali raat
Andheri raat
Mayoos raat
Sadko pe sirf kutte hain
Gine chune do log hain
Nukkad pe beedi cigarette
Aur kambal odhe footpath par palte sapne
Kitni ghinoni hai raat
Kitni manhoos hai raat
Na kuch dikhta hai na
Kuch samjhta hai… bas kaali raat
Din achha hai…
Sab dikhta hai
Bhale hi woh chhalava ho
Aur andhere se bhi gehri andhapan ho
Magar din achha hai!
Kyon din pasand hai?
Sirf roshni ke liye?
Shayad raat ko dekhne ka nazariya badal do
To raat bhi achhi lagey
Na bhoolein
Jo din, din bhar thakata hai
Wahin raat chain dilate hai
Jo din aankh moondne ka waqt nahi deta
Wahi raat ko sapne ka shahar basata hai
To raat buri kahan hui?
Shayad humein hi andhere se darr lagta ho
Kyonki humne gehrayi mein jhaankne ki aadat nahi rahi
Raat…
Gehri kaali andheri ho ya mayoos
Din ke ujalon ko chutti dekar do pal sulati hai raat
Taaki uske jaane par fir subah ho sakey.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Home coming
I am back from a long weekend and a lot of nostalgia from home town. Every visit home is always blissful. This time was a bit different. It was a homecoming of sorts. Everybody from all corners of the planet had come down for an ex-indore mirchi alumni and it had to be fun.
Its very warming to know that friends can really remain friends even if you meet them after years you'd still have more than a Hi! to say to them. We had to hit off instantly sharing gossip from the time we parted to the latest buzz in life. We couldnt stop talking for all the time we were together. The loud music and booze only raised our spirits ;-)
Going back home was strangely different this time... i hope we have more such alumni in the years to come to reassure to ourselves that there is still goodness around and we re-live the best years of our lives over and over again...
Monday, August 11, 2008
Decolored in the sun
I finally awakened to the fact that i have officially become the "Old generation". Not funny at all... suddenly when i look into the mirror now i see grey hair popping out of my skull that i was hiding with my funny hair do for many years, i suddenly feel tired and haggard like i have walked a million miles, am feeling OLD! Yeah that's the word...OLD!
My roomie's sister is 24-25, the sisters friend is mentally 16 but must be 24 yrs old, my cousins are the same age bracket ie 24-25... my younger cousins are even younger... 21!!! Damn! I WAS 21 some 6 yrs ago! i already feel really really old and many generations away from them. There is genuinely such a lot of difference between all of us in terms of thinking, our likes and dislike and our expressions!
This young girl Anita (Anay-ta is how she calls herself!) likes Imraan Khan... how old is he...25! She can't stop drooling over him... i can't find him drool material from any angle whatsoever... am still stuck on Shahrukh Khan who has acted with a girl half his age... 23! who calls him UNCLE.. i mean UNCLE???? i have grown old really...
i feel out of place in most conversations with these young gangs...i dunno how uncomfortable they must be with a generation next like me... in my head i haven't crossed 23 though... i feel absolutely fine and rocking and quiet capable of doing most stupid things like a 16 yr old. But its only when such yuppy, juvenile and totally inane things happen to me that i realize i have grown to level two.
My hair have actually decolored due to age and not in the sun... i have to take it with a pinch of pepper and gulp it down without breathing... i haven't aged... i have matured (few english words that can console me for the time being ;) )
My roomie's sister is 24-25, the sisters friend is mentally 16 but must be 24 yrs old, my cousins are the same age bracket ie 24-25... my younger cousins are even younger... 21!!! Damn! I WAS 21 some 6 yrs ago! i already feel really really old and many generations away from them. There is genuinely such a lot of difference between all of us in terms of thinking, our likes and dislike and our expressions!
This young girl Anita (Anay-ta is how she calls herself!) likes Imraan Khan... how old is he...25! She can't stop drooling over him... i can't find him drool material from any angle whatsoever... am still stuck on Shahrukh Khan who has acted with a girl half his age... 23! who calls him UNCLE.. i mean UNCLE???? i have grown old really...
i feel out of place in most conversations with these young gangs...i dunno how uncomfortable they must be with a generation next like me... in my head i haven't crossed 23 though... i feel absolutely fine and rocking and quiet capable of doing most stupid things like a 16 yr old. But its only when such yuppy, juvenile and totally inane things happen to me that i realize i have grown to level two.
My hair have actually decolored due to age and not in the sun... i have to take it with a pinch of pepper and gulp it down without breathing... i haven't aged... i have matured (few english words that can console me for the time being ;) )
Sunday, August 10, 2008
A matter of change!
I am undergoing a makeover. Change of wardrobe, change of look change of attitude! I guess the most crucial change in me is the change of attitude. I have been contemplating this change for a long time now, trying to introspect and find my soul again. I had exalted everything in my life including the sob and the upbeat.
You know the bit of soul searching always ends at U! I am glad it din't take me zillion years to figure that out. All the change of attire look and exterior is more to do with how to instantly feel good. Clothes are just emblematic of your present state of mind. If you're bright and chirpy you tend to dress upbeat. If your gloomy it reflects in the way you dress... you'd pick the shabbiest dress, not iron it and just not bother. Clothes are a very cursory thing of your mind. But i am fine with it... if my exterior changes noticeably i feel good inside and i atleast begin the process of change. Well so looking forward to meeting people who care and trigger the process of change in me.
I already feel better and i loving every bit of the change.
You know the bit of soul searching always ends at U! I am glad it din't take me zillion years to figure that out. All the change of attire look and exterior is more to do with how to instantly feel good. Clothes are just emblematic of your present state of mind. If you're bright and chirpy you tend to dress upbeat. If your gloomy it reflects in the way you dress... you'd pick the shabbiest dress, not iron it and just not bother. Clothes are a very cursory thing of your mind. But i am fine with it... if my exterior changes noticeably i feel good inside and i atleast begin the process of change. Well so looking forward to meeting people who care and trigger the process of change in me.
I already feel better and i loving every bit of the change.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Reminisce
'Ya ru ba ru... oh chaddu i love u....'
I couldnt stop laughing every time he sang this song! .. and she blushed... ran around... trying to duck him.. and he chased her.. the whole office witnessed this mad love story that wasn't one! He'd sing this song to her and she's beat him up every time. I just saw the video today and remembered good ol times.
I miss most things in life that time has taken away. I enjoyed them then, i cherish them now. Little did i know then that those moments that i was living will be engraved on my mind forever like fossils and whenever they are uncovered, they will only be pleasant surprises. I grew as a wild child breaking people's windows, ruining property and beating other kids up. Too bad, but i loved it. I had my favorite picks in the group who would get trashed everytime they appeared in front of me. Vaidehi was one of them, although we all feared her bulldozer mom and her amrish puri dad but nonetheless it was always fun to pick on her. She would happily volunteer to get fooled. My next bait was Gaurav who so sick and slimy that one could easily mistake him for a sloth. He got slapped everyday. While i picked on people i was usually the sheep in school, had to be.. that's a kinda balancing act. But i was never bullied fortunately.
I am self confessed insult machine and can never talk straight to anybody. It's a kick i get by pulling sarcy jokes at people. While in Jaipur aashi was the center of all my insults for her stature and gluttony, natasha for her blondness and shilpi for her slowness, i had most fun with Chaddu and Atul.
Indore has given me best of friends... going out in the middle of the shows for chai breaks... looooooooong drives about 5 kms LOL (Indore ends beyond that)pubbing out with girls and scandalizing people, looooooooong chats in office conf room that had no head no tail... playing out songs loudly and breaking into a dance when clients would walk in totally shocked! Prateek would come and draw his stick figurines on my white board and every place that he could scribble on... iti sang out songs that we never understood... charu and her sutta and gussa... deepta with her gyanvani... kunal and his eccentricity...Life was good really... clean fun of growing up days with the first office which will never be forgotten. Charu, Iti, Deepta... Kunal... ur the best...
Jaipur has been the most tenure so far where work was really fun. I was on my own, out of home for the first time and i made the most of it. Late nyts,without permissions or questions asked... eating trash... watching tv till late nyts... friends.. partying...
I can only remember good times and smile i lived them. Thanks to all who have been a part of my good times!
I couldnt stop laughing every time he sang this song! .. and she blushed... ran around... trying to duck him.. and he chased her.. the whole office witnessed this mad love story that wasn't one! He'd sing this song to her and she's beat him up every time. I just saw the video today and remembered good ol times.
I miss most things in life that time has taken away. I enjoyed them then, i cherish them now. Little did i know then that those moments that i was living will be engraved on my mind forever like fossils and whenever they are uncovered, they will only be pleasant surprises. I grew as a wild child breaking people's windows, ruining property and beating other kids up. Too bad, but i loved it. I had my favorite picks in the group who would get trashed everytime they appeared in front of me. Vaidehi was one of them, although we all feared her bulldozer mom and her amrish puri dad but nonetheless it was always fun to pick on her. She would happily volunteer to get fooled. My next bait was Gaurav who so sick and slimy that one could easily mistake him for a sloth. He got slapped everyday. While i picked on people i was usually the sheep in school, had to be.. that's a kinda balancing act. But i was never bullied fortunately.
I am self confessed insult machine and can never talk straight to anybody. It's a kick i get by pulling sarcy jokes at people. While in Jaipur aashi was the center of all my insults for her stature and gluttony, natasha for her blondness and shilpi for her slowness, i had most fun with Chaddu and Atul.
Indore has given me best of friends... going out in the middle of the shows for chai breaks... looooooooong drives about 5 kms LOL (Indore ends beyond that)pubbing out with girls and scandalizing people, looooooooong chats in office conf room that had no head no tail... playing out songs loudly and breaking into a dance when clients would walk in totally shocked! Prateek would come and draw his stick figurines on my white board and every place that he could scribble on... iti sang out songs that we never understood... charu and her sutta and gussa... deepta with her gyanvani... kunal and his eccentricity...Life was good really... clean fun of growing up days with the first office which will never be forgotten. Charu, Iti, Deepta... Kunal... ur the best...
Jaipur has been the most tenure so far where work was really fun. I was on my own, out of home for the first time and i made the most of it. Late nyts,without permissions or questions asked... eating trash... watching tv till late nyts... friends.. partying...
I can only remember good times and smile i lived them. Thanks to all who have been a part of my good times!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Standing Alone
Here i am...
Its cold out here
the breeze on my face is only freezing my expression
as i churn my teeth not because of cold
but because of resentment.
from here i can only see everything down below
and it doesnt look as good as it looked up above.
its just too cold up here
as i try to blanket my self
i keep away a lot of things
but hey! i am after all protecting myself.
am not arrogant, nor am i prudish
i am saving my energies
coz if have to go down,
its a long walk up again
here i am
alone
with every thing looking closer than ever
yet so far
every twinkle of the star
every ray of the sun
every depression of the moon
was an illusion that shattered too soon
here i am
gathering every bit of me
that was swept away by the cold breeze
igniting the warmth inside
Here i am
Standing alone
only to turn around and see
that your standing by me!
Monday, July 28, 2008
3 din ki baarish
Kya thakte nahi badal itna baras ke
Phoot kar rone ka maza inhe bhi aata hai
Thodi chid chidahat hawa ke roop mein
Thoda aandhi mein gussa
Bijli mein khaul uthna gusse se
Jo koi na sune to chupke se aansoo bahate hain
Sara ghar sar par to yeh bhi uthate hain
Poora drama hone pe subak subak siskiyan bhi lete hain
Hum bore ho jaayein par ye nahi ho sakte hain
Kya badal baras ke nahi thakte hain?
Phoot kar rone ka maza inhe bhi aata hai
Thodi chid chidahat hawa ke roop mein
Thoda aandhi mein gussa
Bijli mein khaul uthna gusse se
Jo koi na sune to chupke se aansoo bahate hain
Sara ghar sar par to yeh bhi uthate hain
Poora drama hone pe subak subak siskiyan bhi lete hain
Hum bore ho jaayein par ye nahi ho sakte hain
Kya badal baras ke nahi thakte hain?
Why So Serious Son??? Lets Bring A Smile Upon That Face
Heath Ledger (1979-2008)- I only do this because I'm having fun. The day I stop having fun, I'll just walk away - Vanity Fair,August 2000
There are no accidents my friend... every thing is planned somewhere. Every movement is a result of some action that happened somewhere. Nothing dies, it only replenishes to make way for new life. Heath Ledger is immortalized today as 'The Joker' he hasn't died, he will live on forever from now.
A performance that will be remembered for centuries to come. This role was made to immortalize Heath Ledger - Long Live!!!!
Friday, July 25, 2008
get a life
She is back home with bags full of linking road! This happens every month. Its scary to go out with her bcoz her sole purpose of going out is shopping! And the chik who leaves home with one wallet returns with trolley full of trash. She cannot talk about anything but clothes, fashion and beauty and i am exactly the opposite. Nothing in the world can convince me that life is just about spending money. Nothing in the world can convince me that company doesn't matter or there aren't better things to do in life.
The scariest thought for me is to not have like-minded people around me who talk like me, who walk like me. I don't hold any diminutive thoughts for people who like talking all this but how long can one talk about boys, clothes and beauty??? Or perhaps i am not cut for such gentry.
They are all over me, all around me. When they meet their eyes glance over my clothes, my appearance inspecting everything i wear every move i make. Their conversations often begin with 'Aah you'r looking so wotever' and then opening a mutual admiration club and moving on to exchanging shopping details like 'kahan se laayi', do you think i care? Or anybody does for that matter? I get intimidated by such looks, people and places that are only full of superficiality becoz i am a total misfit here. If i sense any bit of it around i seclude instantly. My mind just doesn't supply words to my mouth and i am dumbfounded in the middle of it! Perhaps its a defense mechanism to battle out with the 'other side'. Thats because i do not have great expectations from people, but even then i get disappointed.
Am very very possessive about my environment. I need no change in it coz i can't accept it. I am very comfortable in my skin however rude, sarcastic or freckled it is. In my current scenario i feel totally out of place. I am trying very hard to move out of my shell to break into an unknown territory of 'people on the other side'. They aren't too welcoming either but all i know is i am not ready for this change. For me life is beyond boys, shopping, clothes, beauty and make up. Its about me! Its about my people, my friends, my passion, my dream. However narcissist it may sound, it cannot be driven by circumstances out of my control... the above mentioned peeves all come and go like trends and can never determine my life, any body's life rather.
For all who live a life like that i can only say "all the best, get a life". Right now i am in the middle of no where, trying to find familiarity in total strangeness, longing to have some 'my kind of fun' with 'my kind of people', i hope i am not demanding too much.
The scariest thought for me is to not have like-minded people around me who talk like me, who walk like me. I don't hold any diminutive thoughts for people who like talking all this but how long can one talk about boys, clothes and beauty??? Or perhaps i am not cut for such gentry.
They are all over me, all around me. When they meet their eyes glance over my clothes, my appearance inspecting everything i wear every move i make. Their conversations often begin with 'Aah you'r looking so wotever' and then opening a mutual admiration club and moving on to exchanging shopping details like 'kahan se laayi', do you think i care? Or anybody does for that matter? I get intimidated by such looks, people and places that are only full of superficiality becoz i am a total misfit here. If i sense any bit of it around i seclude instantly. My mind just doesn't supply words to my mouth and i am dumbfounded in the middle of it! Perhaps its a defense mechanism to battle out with the 'other side'. Thats because i do not have great expectations from people, but even then i get disappointed.
Am very very possessive about my environment. I need no change in it coz i can't accept it. I am very comfortable in my skin however rude, sarcastic or freckled it is. In my current scenario i feel totally out of place. I am trying very hard to move out of my shell to break into an unknown territory of 'people on the other side'. They aren't too welcoming either but all i know is i am not ready for this change. For me life is beyond boys, shopping, clothes, beauty and make up. Its about me! Its about my people, my friends, my passion, my dream. However narcissist it may sound, it cannot be driven by circumstances out of my control... the above mentioned peeves all come and go like trends and can never determine my life, any body's life rather.
For all who live a life like that i can only say "all the best, get a life". Right now i am in the middle of no where, trying to find familiarity in total strangeness, longing to have some 'my kind of fun' with 'my kind of people', i hope i am not demanding too much.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Sister's Act 1
Words of wisdom from my sister!
> Feel pleasure of Life in every second. Never be 'angry' or 'sad' bcoz every 1minute of anger or sadness you loose 60secs of happiness
> Judge me all you want, just keep the verdict to yourself
> One of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is b'coz memories are the only thing that don't change when everyone else does
> We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us
> Don't cry b'coz it over, smile b'coz it happened
> Pay no attention to what the critics say; A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.
All this came last night! Perfect timing i must say. Thank you sister :)
> Feel pleasure of Life in every second. Never be 'angry' or 'sad' bcoz every 1minute of anger or sadness you loose 60secs of happiness
> Judge me all you want, just keep the verdict to yourself
> One of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is b'coz memories are the only thing that don't change when everyone else does
> We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us
> Don't cry b'coz it over, smile b'coz it happened
> Pay no attention to what the critics say; A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.
All this came last night! Perfect timing i must say. Thank you sister :)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
He-Man and the Master's of the Universe
1983, i was 2 yrs old when He Man was first made. I don't remember exactly how old i must've been when i first saw it on tv, i guess i was 7-8. He-Man was the most powerful man in the universe, every time the titles rolled i would smile from ear to ear.
" He-Man, and the master of the universe
I am Adam, Prince of Eternia defender of the secrets of Castle Greyskull.... By the power of GreySkull!!!!"
9am was when Doordarshan aired these cartoons on a Sunday. I woke up early even on Sundays just to catch these. I simply loved it. didn't you have your favorites that you'd never miss? Does anyone remember Fairy Tales on Doordarshan? or My Little Pony... There was Disney Club once and Ducktales and Tales Spin... Oh yeah the Jungle Book... and Potli baba Ki.. and the best TOM & JERRY...those days were bliss! Some yummy sunday special breakfast of scrambled eggs made by my dad, the TV on and time would fly.
I watched cartoons till some 3 years ago until the Japanese cartoon invasion happened and suddenly the dreamland was filled with bloodshed, rude remarks, semi nude female animations and hopeless story lines. I watched a lot of Dexter and Johnny Bravo, Garfield i remember came on then Star Plus english at 6 am and i got up early to see it... i watched roadrunner and almost any cartoon that made me smile. I feel sad for today's generation for not having had the pleasure of watching good quality cartoons these days.
Sad for them who think cartoons are Shin Chan, Ben ten and other trash on tv and think that's the best thing. I miss those days of non-commercialised TV content. The aim then was purely naive unadulterated entertainment. Everything that went on air was quality and extremely high recall, be it chandrakanta, banegi apni baat, neev, yeh jo hai jindagi etc...
Nostalgia is a great way to exercise the mind. Its supreme fun to remember things from the past and re-live the days in a way. We often sit with friends and in conversations the past good things becomes a natural conversation maker. One after the other we would sit and remember 'oh did u see Rajni ka that episode?'... or 'Do u remember that episode of Dexter where Dee Dee presses all the buttons in his lab and destroys it?' ok... can u guess this tune 'hmmm....nanana....lalalahmmmm' and the whole group would be miserable if they din't remember!
Some things become fond memories that stay embedded in our minds forever, that even after disappearing from the face of the earth if emerge in your mind will always bring a smile on your face. The sole purpose of any cartoon is giving us a few moments of stress free time and i hope as they improve quality of animation they also improve the stories and concepts.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Love After Love by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
My friend sent this to me in my mail today morning. Thanks :D
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Loo La La
I was chatting with my friend last night about how i haven't had the time to read a book at all in the past so many days. So we started talking about how people can manage to read in the Loo even! I guess it the most common habit to read in the loo which i personally detest but i know a lot of people read. I wonder how they manage to read in the loo when they are doing their thing!
A study says that on an average people spend 1.5 yrs of their life in the loo. That is helluva lot of time. But the big question is what do people do in the loo! With 560,000 words, Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace takes the average reader 31 hours to complete.So with men spending an average one hour and 45 minutes on the loo each week and women 85 minutes, we could all read the epic twice a year.
For me, the loo is one place where i know i won't be disturbed. The phone is away, people are outside, there is nothing that one can do until you open the door... its a blissful time of solitude! 45% people in the world hold the same opinion i say...Most creative people get their genius ideas when they are here. One of my friend has a large loo with a book shelf inside!
People have strange loo habits. Kids sing out in the loo, many read books, some play video games, some can paint their nails sitting inside while most paint the loo itself ;-), some talk on phone (disgusting for the other person on phone to listen to obscene sounds), some smoke, some sip tea and some can actually brush their teeth!
While i still reserve my thoughts on loo time usage,i still believe its the most peaceful time in the world and the act, the most relieving! I am a sorta potty fan and i can go on about it for hours. Potty jokes, potty poems potty anything... its not gross really coz its something very natural and if you dont crap, that's a problem! I mean look at how far people can take their potty obsession - I had seen this Toilet restaurant in Taiwan on TV their interior is potty seats, they serve food in bowls in the shape of potty seats, their food is made to LOOK like potty and they serve it like scoops of potty! HAHAHAHA i mean a potty freak like me would be grossed out completely!
There have been numerous books and poetries written about Potty and ages spent on understanding the bliss of it.
Do let me know if you have come across any strange potty habit, i'd love to post it here!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Aaj for a change..
Aaj for a change
Table pe padi book
mujhe ghoor rahi hai
ke kab itne dino se
mude huye panno ko kholungi
kab uski bhi jindagi
uss panne se aagey badhegi
kitne dino se
subah ki chai pi hai
mere sath us book ne
kitni baar mera lunch
Taste kiya hai
roz hi mere kharrato
se apni bhi neend bigadi hai
kahan roz main
padhte padhte neend ko bulati thi
kitni baar kitaab ko ghoor ke socha
ke aaj to bas, khatam hi kar dungi
na jaane kitne phone number
Store kiye hain anginat panno mein
Na jaane kitni baar mere
Phone pe gappe sune hain
Jab bhi yaad rakhna hota mujhe
Kitaab ke kaan marod ke rakh deti
Ke agle din mile wahi panna
Bhool gayi hoon bahut kuch
Padhna, share karna, hasna
Ignore kiya tha book ko
Aaj yaad dila rahi hai sab kuch!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Hadtaal Jaari Hai
Ok is this what they call a writer's block?
i want to write but i can't ... dunno whats blocking my mind. I am told my conscious mind is sleeping but hell so was my sub conscious mind... so tell me what is working? My brain is asleep!!!! really?
i cannot think... i am unable to write... is this a writer's block? how does one unblock this block? Or is this just my mind playing hide n seek?
i want to write but i can't ... dunno whats blocking my mind. I am told my conscious mind is sleeping but hell so was my sub conscious mind... so tell me what is working? My brain is asleep!!!! really?
i cannot think... i am unable to write... is this a writer's block? how does one unblock this block? Or is this just my mind playing hide n seek?
Monday, July 07, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Whenever You Want To Find About Something, Plunge Right In!
I am totally swept away by this line in Paulo Coelho's 'Brida'. It just sums up how life is to be lead.I have discovered the treasure and wealth of books recently. I was not a reader at all. All i read was newspapers and the books in my courses that too out of compulsion. Why i have taken to reading is not because its hip and cool to read but to find myself. The first novel i read was 'If Tomorrow comes' by Sidney Sheldon. A friend recommended it to me and i was amazed how engrossing it can be to read. Since i wasn't use to reading so much and reading to me was purely sedative, it took me a month to finish the book. But then on i have cut down my slowness drastically. I did not read as often even then. Until 'The Secret' happened to me. This book gave a secind life to me practically. I read The Secret at a time when i needed help the most and it sailed me through the most difficult phase of my life. I was addicted to reading then. I spent 2 grand every month to buy books and read and i never regretted it.
I have never felt so enlightened and enriched before as i feel today. Brida has shown me a new direction. I was distressed about a lot of things when i read this line ' Whenever You Want To Find About Something, Plunge Right In!' and its not funny. Its right - you don't find books, books find you! Its magical how every time the books found me when i just needed that gyaan. This book is about a young woman who is in search of answers. She has to choose between her undying quench for wisdom and her soulmate and the words of wisdom in this book have helped me realise so many things that is was personally seeking.
Although i haven't finished reading the book but the insights and learnings so far have been encouraging. I did not particularly like The Alchemist and picked this book only because i felt it was close to what i was going through i am not dissappointed. Its important to take risks. Its important to choose a path and we often miss out on a lot of things on other paths when we choose one. Its possible that the path you choose may be wrong, but its worthwhile to choose a path sometimes just to prove its the wrong one!
Thanks... i am happier and much more sorted than before. I took a step which i was speculating for so many days and i don't regret. Books are magical... i hope i finish mine soon!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
ek wahi...main aur khushi
ek wahi pani
jo aasman barsaaye to baarish
ek wahi dhoop hai
jo roshni se jeevan bhar de
jo tez tarrar kirno mein tan jhulsa de
ek wahi hawa hai
jo shama ko jalati hai
wahi aandhi ban bujhati hai
ek wahi tum ho main hoon
jo duniya se alag sath reh paaye hain
jo sath hain phir bhi paraye hain!
har roop behroopiya hai
har yakeen dhoka hai
har galti dhoondhti doosra mauka hai
jo jaisa hai woh waisa nahi
hai shaqsiyat dabi kahin
ab ya iss paar ya uss paar
ab hawa se sirf diya jalega
ab dhoop se andhera talega
ab paani sirf aasmaan se barsega
khul gaya hai umeed ka daira ufaq
nahi hai dil mein ab koi jale huye ki rakh
ab bas main hoon aur khushi hai...
jo aasman barsaaye to baarish
jo aankh se barse to aansoo
jo roshni se jeevan bhar de
jo tez tarrar kirno mein tan jhulsa de
ek wahi hawa hai
jo shama ko jalati hai
wahi aandhi ban bujhati hai
ek wahi tum ho main hoon
jo duniya se alag sath reh paaye hain
jo sath hain phir bhi paraye hain!
har roop behroopiya hai
har yakeen dhoka hai
har galti dhoondhti doosra mauka hai
jo jaisa hai woh waisa nahi
hai shaqsiyat dabi kahin
ab ya iss paar ya uss paar
ab hawa se sirf diya jalega
ab dhoop se andhera talega
ab paani sirf aasmaan se barsega
khul gaya hai umeed ka daira ufaq
nahi hai dil mein ab koi jale huye ki rakh
ab bas main hoon aur khushi hai...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Ek chai lana
No no i am not obsessed with tea pls. This can unimaginably be the closing line of a movie makes me laugh. I found it really funny. Sarkar Raj for those who have seen it will identify this line where our dear Mrs Rai Bachhan wearing a black shirt signifying empowerment turns around and asks pappu ' Ek chai lana'. Funny! I am not a very huge fan of the Bachhans so i found the whole movie a good gimmick. The bahu is strangely the front runner everywhere these days. She is been given ABCL to handle, a school has been named after her, she is centre of most of their activities and its interesting how the movie also depicted the same. I did not follow why Abhishek was killed half way in the movie in the first place. And if Sarkar was to come to power again, why was Mrs Rai Bachhan introduced to power???? Its like they are giving her the responsibility in open! Even in the film. I feel Abhishek is quite sidelined unfortunately in the three. Where Big B attracts more fans and Ash is always the show stealer Abhishek has not much to add.Haha so we came out with this entire series of one liners add to 'Ek chai lana'
> Bachhans ka fav drink - obviously Chai
> Bachhans ka fav food - Chai-nese
> Bachhans ka fav place - Chai-na
> Bachhans ka fav movy - Gehri Chai
> Bachhans ka fav animal - Chai-tah
> Bachhans ka fav girl name - Chai-tali
> Bachhans ka fav boy name - Chai-tanya
> Bachhans ka fav radio show- big Chai
> Bachhans ka fav TV show - Ek Chai-bi Padoss Mein
> Bachhans ka fav gaali - Chai-la
> Bachhans ka fav sport - Chai-chi
> Bachhans ka fav song - neeche Chai ki dukaan upar gori ka makaan
> Bachhans ka fav actor - Jackie - Chai
> Bachhans ka fav actress - Priyanka Chai-pra/ Chai-meron Diaz
> Bachhans ka fav dog - Chai-hua hua
> Bachhans ki fav car - Mer-chai-des
i can go on.... if you have anything to add pls do punch in ur one liners....
Monday, June 23, 2008
SAVE! SAVE!! SAVE!!!
SAVE THE TIGER, SAVE THE WORLD, SAVE WATER, SAVE THE EARTH SAVE ME, SAVE MY NEIGHBOUR, SAVE MY DOG, SAVE MY BOSS, SAVE MY ROOF. SAVE THIS SAVE THAT!!!!
So many things to save does anyone care really? I have been seeing so many 'Save' campaigns on TV lately that i have begun to wonder what difference is it going to make anymore. They just pass off as one of the many blank ad spots or 'here is another save promo'! Too bad. The people who really need to get educated are people who have no basic education. And the educated do not care.
I felt so bad when the Save tiger campaign ran massively on TV and i planned for a similar campaign in the radio station i worked for and felt at the end of it... who are we talking to? Who am i asking to save the tiger??? People who sit at home and watch TV? They anyway have not seen the tiger out of a cage ever. They have never hunt down a tiger. The ones who hunt will never see you PSA or understand your hoardings so who are we talking to? If you gotta save whatever the message should reach the right person in the right manner. My heart skips a beat everytime i hear the ice on the artic has gone down, the sea level has gone up, flora and fauna is depleting... But i do not understand how will ME doing anything to conserve the environment alone help the situation.
What i wonder is how does one bring about a mass difference? How can a billion people be affected by your message. Everybody gets touched and ponders but in a day or two forgets that the resources he is using will be gone from the surface of the planet in a few years, or may be the planet won't be there anymore! When prices for most stuff goes up is because of its scarcity we would not realise it perhaps. There would be a day when we would not have the resource at all. But we are not farsighted and we choose to blind as well. How does petrol scarcity in the Gulf affect my future generation? If the ice in Arctic is melting how am i responsible? Well dude you are and the ones who suffer could be your family in the future. We only act when anything in our first circle gets affected. If it affects my life directly or indirectly only then will i consider saving the environment. Its almost like the govt yelling drive safe, dnt drive drunk and you ignore it, but when you or your near ones face a fatal accident you suddenly become doubly cautious of every sign board on the road. We do not bother ourselves before that.
We have developed such immunity towards most things and the damned human nature of doing exactly opposite of what is told. We can never do what is asked from us so if i am asked to not use plastic i would choose to ignore! I can practically see the world coming to an end. Infact all of us do. The geographical, atmospherical and environmental changes around us are signals to where we are heading. We are intelligent enough to pick them but ignorant by choice. I, in my life dont want to witness the end of the world. I don't even want to see the beginning of it. I love this planet and somebody pls tell me what can i do to keep it alive as long as i am alive! I can't change the world but i can change my world and my environment. I am ready!
So many things to save does anyone care really? I have been seeing so many 'Save' campaigns on TV lately that i have begun to wonder what difference is it going to make anymore. They just pass off as one of the many blank ad spots or 'here is another save promo'! Too bad. The people who really need to get educated are people who have no basic education. And the educated do not care.
I felt so bad when the Save tiger campaign ran massively on TV and i planned for a similar campaign in the radio station i worked for and felt at the end of it... who are we talking to? Who am i asking to save the tiger??? People who sit at home and watch TV? They anyway have not seen the tiger out of a cage ever. They have never hunt down a tiger. The ones who hunt will never see you PSA or understand your hoardings so who are we talking to? If you gotta save whatever the message should reach the right person in the right manner. My heart skips a beat everytime i hear the ice on the artic has gone down, the sea level has gone up, flora and fauna is depleting... But i do not understand how will ME doing anything to conserve the environment alone help the situation.
What i wonder is how does one bring about a mass difference? How can a billion people be affected by your message. Everybody gets touched and ponders but in a day or two forgets that the resources he is using will be gone from the surface of the planet in a few years, or may be the planet won't be there anymore! When prices for most stuff goes up is because of its scarcity we would not realise it perhaps. There would be a day when we would not have the resource at all. But we are not farsighted and we choose to blind as well. How does petrol scarcity in the Gulf affect my future generation? If the ice in Arctic is melting how am i responsible? Well dude you are and the ones who suffer could be your family in the future. We only act when anything in our first circle gets affected. If it affects my life directly or indirectly only then will i consider saving the environment. Its almost like the govt yelling drive safe, dnt drive drunk and you ignore it, but when you or your near ones face a fatal accident you suddenly become doubly cautious of every sign board on the road. We do not bother ourselves before that.
We have developed such immunity towards most things and the damned human nature of doing exactly opposite of what is told. We can never do what is asked from us so if i am asked to not use plastic i would choose to ignore! I can practically see the world coming to an end. Infact all of us do. The geographical, atmospherical and environmental changes around us are signals to where we are heading. We are intelligent enough to pick them but ignorant by choice. I, in my life dont want to witness the end of the world. I don't even want to see the beginning of it. I love this planet and somebody pls tell me what can i do to keep it alive as long as i am alive! I can't change the world but i can change my world and my environment. I am ready!
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