Things i haven't done in a long time

As we transverse through time, so many things are left undone, so many desires are left unfulfilled and so many pictures remain un-colored. And when we look back in time we wish we could spare out a little more time to do what we really loved doing and regret about not having done it. There is frankly never an appropriate time to do anything that makes you happy. We all wait for an opportune time which never comes and all that we had just passes by as we watch helplessly. Today just this urge of doing things i miss doing or i have missed doing makes me write this list of the mad and wild things i haven't done in a long time. I am sure a lot of people like me will be grinning at most points on this list. So let's start -

1. Soaking in the rain - i don't remember the last time when i got drenched in the rain. The first shower was an event in our lives as children. We all ran out of our houses to soak in the cold rain that not only washed the body but rejuvenated the soul. The rains were a reason to celebrate. Last time i guess i got soaked was in Indore on our office terrace. Exactly 5 years ago...I miss running out and getting wet in the rain like a child.

2. Girl Fun - in the longest time i have not had girl fun with my girl gang. last year i went out with my sisters to hard rock cafe and had a blast. Got on the table and danced like a mad woman and got drunk n all that... but i was conscious still coz my jeeja was with us.. but that dint stop me from having fun.. restricted fun! An all girl gang fun is totally different!

3. Dance like no one's watching - for all who know me well know that's how i dance. To a lot of people i look stoned when i dance.. but dance to me is trance and in the longest time i haven't danced like this... i miss dancing to myself.. loosing myself to dance!

4. Laugh until i cry - this is something i have forgotten long back. Now laughter and tears have become two separate entities that roll out on their own. Their companionship has been divided by glee and stress. I am yearning to laugh and laugh until tears roll down my cheeks. Lot os uf laugh like that... this friend of mine would laugh so much that one day her eyes shut and she fell off the chair! Her jaw started hurting and she skipped dinner because she couldn't chew. No kidding, really! Been a long time...

5. Wander - In college we did this a lot. Wander aimlessly without an agenda for the day. We hung out at satyam, pvr of all sorts, ashok vihar market, CP, behind our college... or just about anywhere... we ate, shared jokes, bitched and went back home... pure bliss sometimes to be not doing anything... for the past 8 years i dont remember one day where i haven't done anything... everyday has been an agenda...even off days are meant for laundary and cleaning up and repair work and all that jazz... this one day of just wandering has gone missing...

6. Bicycle - Hmph... the last time i cycled was in Mandav on our outbound... 16kms... treasure hunt and it was maddening. I love cycling... it gives me a sense of freedom and i love it when the wind blows on my face and tickles my hair away from my face. I use to skip the school bus and cycle my way to school without my parents knowing until my dad found out and followed me one day to see how well i rode. Since then i have been the champ of my house! But i haven't cycled for the longest time. Mandav when i did, i cycled after some 10 yrs. its been 4 years since i last sat on a bicycle.

7. Impulse reactions - Although i am not impulsive and would seldom do anything unplanned, impulses give me a kick anyhow. It's like spirit or ecstasy that gives you just that required amount of kick! I remember in Jaipur on Rakhi, pankaj and i set out for a drive... we picked shilpi on our way and headed to jaipur-delhi highway and our plan was to eat at a dhaba and go return home late in the night. But post a sudden impulse, we just detoured to Alwar. At midnight we were driving past dense Sariska forests and glaring at our faces were Cheetals, wild boars, neelgai and animals of the dark... at one point Pankaj decided to stop the car in the middle of the forest and swtiched the headlights off. The silence of the jungle sounded like music to us. We could see tiny sparkling eyes from the bushes and after a few seconds fear grabbed our mind and we drove away. The thrill for those 5 secs was immense. The impulse drove us to Moniya's house in Alwar where we reached at 1am and made her mom cook for us! We drover her back at 5am to reach office at 10! Was never done something so mad after that!

We tend to ignore our space and small joys of life for bigger ones. I don't know how justified it is. It may be the need of that time to let go of your personal joys for something else, but i am sure there is a time when you can forego something else for your personal pleasure. We remember these small things and then miss not having done it before. Take out time, do something you like doing, every week. Just an hour every week ...

Chicken Shit

Devdas, all of the four that were made have been superhits. Devdas the novel itself was much acclaimed. Devdas, the story of a drunkard loser who weaves a world of sorry around himself and drowns his sorrow in spirit. Sorry that he gave to himself, grief that he created himself in his life. A man so cowardly that he never had courage to face the world for mistakes he did and others paid for or even confess his love to his lady only to see her marry off to someone else! Devdas to me was a wuss.

He glorified his pain and pulled everybody around him in it. The turbulent whirlpool of sadness is only centrifugal. The pathos is never for the other person, it always stems from self. Devdas died thinking that grief was larger than the other persons. His grief was so morbid that he doomed everybody who ever got associated with him. He blamed everybody else for his state of mind, state of life and could never fight back because he was a wuss.

People who hide their faces in a blanket of sadness and gloom can never live life. Their perspective towards life is dark and somber. Their eyes are perpetually filled with tears that diffuse the beautiful picture of life. Their heads are fuzzed up by depressing thoughts that only lead them to doomsday! Their curve on the face is forever inverted and viens strained. How can one remain happy around a person like that? Everybody suffers pain and troubles in life. No one persons trouble is greater than the others' because we all live different lives with as many different problems each big for each of us. Like i always say, every problem has a solution and the gravity of the problem is inversely proportional to the way it is dealt with. The better you deal with it smaller the problems become! Sadness is never life, its a phase of life. Hence, it has to pass. Sadness is never the problem, it is the emotional outcome of a problem.

Devdas never lived his life, he existed and eventually perished. There are more than one like him for whom sympathy, self pity and sadness is way of life. To them pain needs to be glorified and to me, all their emotional trash is totally chicken shit! A man is the one who fights back, rest all are vegetables. A man is the one who can snatch every single iota of joy that he can possibly sieze. A man is the one who can reclaim his life and rise like a phoenix. A man to me is the one who cares not about phases of life but cares about people and beyond self. A man to me will never tag 'chicken shit' alongside his name!

Fariyaad Karen'GAY'

The Indian Penal Code (IPC), of which Section 377 forms a part, was drafted in 1860 by Lord Macaulay as a part of the colonial project of regulating and controlling the British- and Indian-origin subjects. It reads:

377. Unnatural offences: Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine.

Explanation: Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offense described in this section.

The ambit of Section 377, which was devised to criminalize and prevent homosexual associations - sodomy in particular, extends to any sexual union involving penile insertion. Thus even consensual heterosexual acts such as fellatio and digital penetration may be a punishable offense under this law. [wikipedia]

Swami Ram Dev Baba: Gays are sick people and should be sent to hospitals.

and isnt your YOGA supposed to help sick people????

Lalu Prasad Yadav: "Such things which affect the society should not be permitted at all... Government has a greater responsibility towards the society,"

and if i may ask what greater responsibility are we talking about here???

Since when has 'bedroom activity' started interesting our nation? Why we are so bothered what two consenting adults do behind closed doors of their bedrooms, irrespective of their sexual orientation? Have we ever been interested in two straight peoples' sexual lives like we have this sudden curiosity and opinion about gays getting equal right to live a normal life? What the hell is wrong with us all? Look at the statements being made by RESPONSIBLE people of India. People who make promises of a better, brighter India. A more progressive India.

It’s a pity that education and awareness couldn’t bring about a change in the way we think. Such education is a waste and such people are a disgrace who cannot accept other humans for what they are. What is the big deal about homosexuality after all? You like a woman and I like a man is normal… he likes a boy and she likes a girl is abnormal? We don’t decide as we grow up what tendency we will pick. Our parent’s don’t influence our choices of gender in our bringing up process. Neither is it genetic nor is it psychological. It’s purely biological. And if its that, then it’s surely gifted by god if that makes the understanding better!

Who are we to decide what is normal and what isn’t? Just because a few million act in certain way it is normal!? Is it written is your god book, the rules of normal and abnormal? Who gives anybody the right to call a certain sect of people as SICK? YOU???? And we thought you were a spiritual leader. Of the millions that followed you, many would be homosexual to bring to your notice sir, and you were unwittingly healing these SICK people without them going to the hospital!

The government has never done any better work before than this ever, Sir! Which society are we talking about? And for some greater responsibility towards this very same society, I think the government should strive to make it safer for all. With the 26/11 case judgements still pending in court and all sorts of allegations of complacency on the same responsible government, I think they surely have better things to do!

TOI carried this really interesting and informative article on how gayness was not shameful in our own ancient India. Experts of some mythological incidents from a book were quoted in the article and I was fascinated to know how our country is so obsessed with sex and sexuality. It quotes a story from the puranas where Brihaspati discovers his wife Tara is pregnant with the child of her lover Chandra. He curses the love child to be born neuter. Budh later marries Ila, a man who becomes a woman when he accidentally trespasses an enchanted grove. From that union springs the Chandra-vamsa, or the lunar dynasty of kings. So says the Mahabharata. In the Valmiki Ramayana, there are descriptions of Rakshasa women who kiss women on Ravana’s bed on whose lips lingers the taste of their master. Krittivasa Ramayana is the story of two widows who drink a magic potion and, in the absence of their husband, make love to each other and end up bearing a child without bones (traditionally believed to be the contribution of semen).

Is there a more perverse nation than this? We have granths written on sex and sex education. We have in our ancient times accepted and lived with homosexuals. The era when there was no ‘education’ as such. They were all supposedly uneducated. I think we were much more forward and broad in our thinking then, than we are today. Education has made us penny wise and pound foolish.

This very same responsible government has made this responsible decision because a few morons create nuisance in the lives of two people who want to just a live a peaceful life without being mocked at for the choice they made. You like potatoes I like beans so what!!!!!! Take charge of your lives and stop peeping into other peoples’ bedrooms. Behind closed doors we all do the same gig that they do! It’s just a matter of choice!

Ghanan Ghanan...

Its been pouring all day. Few areas in the city have been clogged and by the looks of it, this very generous, in a party mood rain is here to stay for over the weekend. Thanks!

My ofis is next to the sea @ versova. Standing on the terrace i can see the ocean splashing against the walls of the cemetery and washing away iniquitousness of the ceased as well as of the alive. The sea on our side was never so volatile. Ever since its surfaced has been kissed with the cold showers of rain it has been bouncing off in joy wherever it could find space! Enormous tides that thunder against any surface and the splash of water that follows seems like children chasing each other joyfully. The chuckling of water as it recedes after that big thud against the walls is strangely pleasant and meditative.

I know a lot of people who romanticize rains. Frankly rains for a long period leave me gloomy and sad. Let rains begin and all the facebook ID's get updated and all romantic. Rain plays a lot on human psyche in a way that it makes them all mushy and sugar coated for some reason. Frankly, i could never understand why people suddenly become horny in the rain. Its not romance, its sex that runs through the mind. This sudden urge of having someone special in your lives becomes the top priority of a lot of lonely hearts and those who have the 'special' someone in their lives think of how to spend the most romantic time with them as it rains. TOING!??? Please see three question marks over my head and eyes that roll in wonder... Why does rain make people romantic????

I can hear all kinds of 'saason ko saason mein ghulne do zara', 'pyar hua ikraar hua', 'bheegi bheegi raaton mein', 'haye haye yeh majboori', 'jaane do na...', 'bhaage re mann' playing everywhere. Its like rain anthem. Weird really...

For me, my favorite rain item forever will be smoking hot Raveena in a rain soaked yellow saree with Akshay Kumar prancing around her with eyes full of lust with his signature smile from ear to ear waiting for the right opportunity to get cosy with the lass. The ultimate rain song ever... i have not seen any song smoke so much fire while getting soaked in the rain. The music is four thumbs up, the picturisation is awesome and the after effects... mindblowing!

Right now i am waiting for the rain to stop so i can go out and fetch something to eat. There is almost knee deep water around my building and its not getting any better. If it continues to rain this way, this city will witness another of its biggest disasters. Rain pandits have already started predicting their tsunami's and sea storms and death foresights! They finally have some work to do after sitting idle for an entire season waiting to predict and get noticed. So the date they say is 13th July, the day the city will witness a tsunami. Well Shree Shree 1008 Lord Aga ji once said in Padosan' Bindu ki maa, jab jab jo jo hona hai tab tab so so hota hai...' was earlier also copied by the great Murphy ' what has to go wrong, will go wrong...'

Let us romanticize rains till then, coz if anything adverse happens at all, these romantic thoughts will anyway begin to haunt then.

I am engaged...

Yes i am engaged! Finally....to my solitude. So i am sitting here, punching hard on the keys of my room mates laptop coz my machine suddenly turned foul on me. Decided not to show its ugly face and the screen blanked out like my mind. No man, no machine, no mission no nothing...

I am spaced out again. This happens to me simply because of too many thoughts at once. So when i sit to write i do not know what to write and where to begin. So i have lost track again i can see as i type... i was saying i am engaged to my solitude. I am at home alone, my roomie is out and the other one is at work. Just threw my cat out of the house so that makes me totally lonely. From my large french windows i can see the building across the road. About 50 odd windows. One to the drawing room and one to the masterbed room on each floor, of the flats facing my side. 30 odd lights are on, 20 odd people hovering in their houses from one room to the other unaware that i am watching them. And this one light on the 6th floor blinks and switches on. A young boy puts the TV on and if i am not blind i can see some animated channel on it. I can see through their houses, thanks to the very friendly 'watch my neighborhood' concept of builders that allows you to literally watch into each others' lives. I can see this one dog in the balcony sitting on a rain soaked floor, helplessly. On floor 3, the lady has got out a tray full of glasses i cant see what's filled in it. Guests i believe must be the reason for 6 crystal glass crockery to suddenly leave the showcase and butt itself on the serving tray!

Lost track again.... i was engaged to my solitude. I am having a monologue in my head. Trying to reason why i am still alone. All these years i have never evaluated my situation so keenly as i am doing now. May be its time. But my friend said dont be desperate... so i am trying not to be. Last night shivani n i went out... had great fun just idling our lives for 4 hours... saw the humungous rows of cars waiting to get on to the Sea Link like it would sink tomorrow... laughed at how we indians are and moved to link road and ate till we threw up almost! 200 mein jaan bhi le lo to de dein! mutton seekh kebab, chiken tikka masala aur 6 paav to bahut chhoti cheez hai!

So everyday i can't innovate on 'how to break ur solitude' topic! Ok my thoughts are changing now.... same logic... multiple thoughts!....