Monday, October 20, 2008

12 months, 1 year

Both happened. In sub sequence of 2 days. Overwhelming joy and sorrow. No complaints really but that's the cycle of life. Nobody can get anything in excess or forever. Nothing is forever. No joy no sorrow.

The joy being the launch of my station in Nagpur after an endless wait. No joy can compare to the feat of launching a new station. We were just recuperating from the brain damaging happiness and i got the news at 2. Gypsy, died. A dog for many who do not understand the affection of pets and a family member for who actually empathise. She was with us for 8 years and that's a long time. I was away, and i thank God for that. Coz i wouldn't have been able to ever get over it had i seen her dying.

I was alone, trying to hide my tears, but why? I love her immensely. I don't get depressed thinking of her today, because she has given me too much joy to think about her and feel sad.

Today completes the 1 year, of not having my pet around of not having to see her when i go back home, of not being loved by and not being asked for. 12 months have passed after the launch of Nagpur on 18th! I am so overjoyed by the fact that this journey has been so amazing and the talent i trained has managed to finally walk it on their own.




I am smiling today. 12 months and the 1 year has passed so soon. Both memories would live forever in my heart. Equally remembered!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Inconnu

'so that's me, exactly me. I look like me, i smile like me, i even think like me', I was telling myself looking at the mirror. But do i really know myself? Who knows me? Who knows you??? We are inconnu!

Who knows you anyway? We are surrounded by people who constantly tells us how well they know us. Be it your boyfriend/girlfriend, your very close friends, your family, your acquaintances or anybody you meet even for a millisecond. They remember the next time you meet, what food you like, what color you like, what dress you wore and all that trash and it means they know you well. I like it! So convinient. So knowing somebody is basically just about knowing their likes and dislikes, knowing their friends and knowing the exterior! Or is it? So when your friends know you they mean they know what you like or dislike. What do they mean when they say they know you?

Frankly even your parents don't know you completely. No they can't. What they see of you is their child and what you are is something else. You may have a zillion flaws and your parents would voluntarily not notice them only because you are their child. So how well do they know you? Just as much as you know yourself.

All of us infact change according to circumstances; consciously or sub consciously. Plus, all of us grow with our experiences as well. So its not neccesary that we react the same way to the same situation at two different occasions and its completely natural. Does it mean that we have changed? ummm... may be yes, may be not! Our choices, likes and dislikes... our decisions and so many other things so depend on the today we are living in that i may have planned the biggest house on a particular land and just when i start digging the foundation i may find an oil reserve and start a petrol pump there! Have i changed????

What we are in front of our parents we are not in front of the friends and not the same in front of our collegues and not all in front of strangers and neither knows how you are in front of the other. So if we have so many different facets in just one personality who would you say knows you thouroughly? You??? Would you know if you'd react the same way to the same thing at two different time zones? Damn!

I was watching big boss (yes i watch it regularly and if i may say... i am a fan!) i realised how everybody was totally contrary to what i percieved of them or how they showed. Like a payal was the biggest shock to me... somebody who pretends to be sober and demure suddenly became this stupid bimbette who is so suffering from attention deficit syndrome that she couldn't look straight into people's eyes without looking through them at the camera once. Her sly and cheap side am sure even her parent's din't know of. Raja! Sambhavna? Did their parents know they abused so much!

Nobody can know you in moments they spend with you. I don't know myself in the life i have spent with me... i dunno how i'd be tomorrow... all i know is i am not wanting to know myself anymore... its beautiful see everytihng unfold gradually to know the various magical aspects of yourself. I like it... sorry but nobody knows me... nobody knows you either... we are all Inconnu!