The bench

Two chocolate cones melting drop by drop in the heat. Just you and me left behind. Shh! Let them go don't stop them. Stereotypically I am looking for something that has suddenly fallen out of my bag. You stay, lets walk together amidst tall buildings and zipping cars. Hold my hand, come close, the melting ice cream's making me cold. He holds me close and wraps his arm around me. Cars are zipping too fast and I cannot cross the road. One scoop of my icecream is wobbling now. I loose balance and the scoop falls but he holds me. I took a risk because i trusted you'd save me. This risk is fun.


We cross the road and my ice cream is so romancing my fingers. A droplet of the icecream kisses my nose and instantly his peck wipes that droplet. Yellow footpath dimly lit up by tired bulbs on a lamp post. A bench, we walk faster towards it. One corner each till we finished our cones. No talk, only slurps. The occasional exchange of smile and snigger behind the back. No word uttered, its been an hour. But its not uncomfortable. 


We turn around now. Inch by inch we move closer. Our heartbeat had stopped but not the passing cars. So unruly this desire. We sit quiet. For an hour more. Speechless, just feeling our hearts beat and listening to our hearts talk to each other. He holds my hand. Its warm. The warmth is transferred to my hand. Our hearts tell each other, this too shall pass. It tells not to be afraid and not to give up hope. The heart speaks a language i dont understand. All i understand is a spark has gone inside and ignited the darkest corner of my heart uninhibited forever. The seat on the bench is taken. 

Its past midnight. The city is asleep. Every car has zipped past and its only time that is unwilling to pass. The only eyes open in the dark are his and mine. They are open coz they're seeing a dream. A dream, they have photographed and will reminisce forever. The bench has started a new story, a story that will never end. 

Waiting Room

Stealing glances across the room. I know those eyes have captured her more than a thousand times in the few minutes that have gone by. An X-ray of the heart and mind has happened and those hands aching to shake hands and start something new with her. A twitch that show the contemplation of the lips to smile. The intermittent gulping and breathing to keep the nervousness down. The ear that is only cued to her conversation and keenly pick up her breathing also. Toes curl up and a spark of joy rushes down when she looks at him finally! I sigh of relief that the glances were acknowledged. The twitch turns into a smile instantly. Confidence exudes from the eyes and the smile gets replied with another smile. Eyes meet uncomfortably and make a connection so strong that it ignites a new story. The wait for the next train turns into a wait for the first word. She plucks her hair behind her ears and batters her eyelids as her cheeks turn red and she looks away to avoid anymore sparks. What had to start had begun. She was yearning for his attention now. Time and again wetting her lips to utter the first word but the chase was too much fun for her make the first move. She was shy but knew exactly how to hold his attention. She looked and smiled every few minutes to assure that she was feeling the same fire. She finally mustered enough courage with a long breathe that induced life into her feet to get up. Just then, he got up. His smiled dropped and eyes became glum. He turned around ashamed and sorry. He looked at her one final time with his eyes locked into hers as she took him away from her. She was the one he had chosen. The emptiness in her heart was filled with the sound of the arriving train. "Platform no. 1 se train ja chuki hai"

I am not God

I'm not perfect, i'm human. Like the countless others, i have my share of imperfections. Countless imperfections. To begin with i lie. I lie through my nose, to save a situation, to save myself, to save my people. But i'd never lie to harm anyone. Even if that lie saves anything yet harms someone i would refrain. I talk out of my hat. I often end up with my foot in my mouth because of my illogical talking habit. I have always looked like someone who is mindless in an argument and will go back on my words. But i say things at that time to save a situation from getting into an argument and will completely forget what i said.

My fault I live each moment as it comes and dont think about anything. I dont know whats in store for me tomorrow because i  cannot foresee tomorrow. All that i see is right now, and if something makes sense right now i'll do it. So if the same thing doesnt make sense tomorrow i will act differently! How complex is that? Have you seen tomorrow? How do you manage to plan your tomorrow without knowing what it is going to be like? Its like agreeing to get married without seeing or knowing the person. Total blind shot. You think i am a risk taker, i am impulsive? How different are you? You are investing or trusting a time that you haven't seen?

When life is simple, why do we need to complicate it? Why sit and count faults in others and waste so much time rather than simply embracing and accepting them the way they are. I start explaining. But i now i know, there is no point. What to accept what is already there? What difference will it make in the larger picture if i dont accept? Its nobody's duty to point out my imperfections and certainly not a moral duty to make sure i improve. I was born with a set of disabilities and emotional incompetancies. So are you. I dont keep track of other peoples flaws frankly because i dont have the mental capacity to remember so much and then talk back. I chicken out of arguments and i have no qualms in admitting that.

When my mistakes are counted, i dont get defensive, i become conscious. I get scared that now i will have to mend my ways coz what i do has affected someone negatively. That takes away the 'Me' from me. That will naturally have its repercussions over how i behave and eventually the way i am. I will change. Why would you want to change someone if you liked them the way they are in the first place!? I am imperfect. Show me one perfect human with all that you always wanted in one and i will give you my life. Life would be so much better if we did not have to think about our actions each time. I'm not perfect. If i were perfect I'd be God.