Sc1.
The clouds came thundering down suddenly... she came out and hastily gathered the clothes that were drying in the bright sun just a few moments ago. She ushered her kids under cover and placed a lid on the utensil that was simmering her lunch. She sat inside looking at the rain mercilessly wash away the only food she had for her 3 children and the fire died down as it rained heavily. Her tears were invisible in the drops of rain that spalshed upon her face. Her kids oblivious to the pathos.
Sc2.
His brother held him by his left arm and dragged him across the street as the traffic light turned green and vehicles waiting to go speeded past the two of them. He gently maneuvered him in the rush of honking metal bulls and took him to the divider. The brother turned around to abuse the few who almost ran over them... as the other mentally retarded one stood on the signal smiling and saluting anyone passing by. As the light turned red again... the unstable one strayed on his own to a car as a hand flung out and waved a Rs 10 note. The unstable one was suddenly dragged behind by his brother who rushed and practically snatched the note from the hand that held it and turned around to see his abnormal brother fallen on the divider.
Sc3.
Chaotic traffic at Lokhandwala circle and around. Phyan arriving and offices shutting down at 2pm. Everybody in a hurry to reach home before the others. Many choose to lock themselves up in their respective offices as a better option than to travel the distance. In this mad rush, a meek bicycle swivels its ways from the corner of the road. 10-odd food parcels hanging from the handle of his cycle... unstoppable down pour preceeding phyan... the bicycle man cutting through mad rush of vehicles... a car honks loudly from behind and scares him. He loses balance and leans on a pole... the car speeds past and splashes water over him. Nothing that he can do... but stand and curse his fate. You are in a hurry to reach home from work... he is at work in a hurry to provide you with food against all adversities... even then.. he is shoo-ed away.
Sc4.
Pitch dark in the night... not a soul around... apart from this one... in the darkness of the night... from far away shone something blingy... glittery... like stars on the ground... as i came closer to the shiny thing... i discovered a human behind those blingy clothes... some really distasteful sense of dressing i must say... turqouise blue top with silver work and yellow short skirt... my eyes and mind both boggled at the spectacle. A motorcycle standing next to the soul negotiating ... 'kholi meri... half... chal itna to madhuri bhi nahi leti...' and i thought to myself... 'tomorrow morning i won't recognise her when she goes back to her normal office life...'
I still find it difficult to fathom this life... but yes...they too live in Mumbai.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Prioritize!
I sleep with dreams in my eyes
And as the night turns them into rheum
I wake up and wash it off next morning
Like I woke from a bundle of lies.
We all grow up with dreams and ambitions of becoming something. We nurture these fragile dreams till they come close to reality and then we all love to see them blossom. As a child when I grew up, I had no clue of any such thing. I was a free spirited soul that cared less about future and thought only about living for the moment. For me dreams were pictures that I saw with my eyes shut and forgot when I got up. My life was playing in the dirt, inventing new ways of entertaining myself and my people, only doing what made me happy. Then suddenly studies took over. Grades became priority because I scored well and then expectations from my own self rose high. My play time was engulfed by study time and I showed less of myself to my friends. Till I realized it wasn’t making me happy.
I set my priority right. Sports was what I loved doing even if my studies suffered, I did not want to be jack of all trades and a master of none. I enrolled myself in volleyball and basketball. I excelled because I enjoyed it. I played zonals and then again studies took over as my 12th boards stepped in the middle.
By the time I reached high school, my priority from fun shifted to sports. I knew I will never do anything run of the mill when I grow up. I was mad and even people expected me to either get into modeling or something similar. My choice was fashion designing. Till the time I passed my second boards, I had made up my mind to not join college and enroll with some fashion institute and learn designing. But one fine morning my priority had changed from fashion to nothing. I got up and the last day of college admission, I decided I will attend college and I did. I wanted to do a regular pass course for the sake of a degree, but my grades did not allow me to enter the college of my choice so I chose to join a girls college for primarily two reasons A) the course they offered was different and I like different, B) only that college had seats left for late risers like me. So I was studying advertising suddenly from no where. Now while I studied advertising, I was thinking of future. My priority was to outshine my classmates as I was discovering a part of me that I had never known. I was creative! And others discovered it for me. I loved every bit of being creative. I became so enthused by the ideas that boggled my mind that now I had a new direction in my life. I knew exactly where I wanted to be! I conducted ad contests in my batch and I was the 1st one to do so. I ran around to get people to lecture us on advertising. Two years of studying advertising I won the competitions however small they were I topped a bunch of 30 odd aspirants. I was the coolest human in their batch and I did not know it. my advertising teacher told me I had a bright future. I knew my priority had changed totally in life and winning had become a habit.
Took my habit seriously and found myself a job in an ad agency during the last yr of my college. I took up writing and that writing got me a job as a copywriter with a radio channel. I was moving out of my teens then and growing older…. Priority now was going up the ladder. My work however shady, shown and I rose up the hierarchy to lead my team. I grew and grew and suddenly being happy, playing sports, creative satisfaction all became distant visuals. I was chasing power. It is a high that one cannot describe. I was leading… and I wanted to go higher up, and so I was…. Money took over. I was earning… each year my bank reflected more and more money… I moved cities till I came to Mumbai and earned more!
All the previous priorities vanished from my memory. I was only chasing money till I got the setback of my life. I was loosing myself… anything I earned was not enough and it pinched me so hard that I secluded myself for introspection. Nothing much has changed since… only that I am not obsessed with power and money anymore. I have learned to satiate myself with whatever I have now. My priority is still earning money because I realize today that money may not mean anything by itself, but when it converts into something that could bring a smile to my family’s face, it becomes priceless. I am only striving hard enough to earn that much money now.
But when I look back from playing in the mud to where I am today, my priorities have changed so much! All of us begin with small dreams and priorities that we set for ourselves at every stage in our lives. Small things like today you may want a pink dress, but tomorrow the need could be green. Today your priority could be your husband… later your child… today you may be saving to buy a house…tomorrow for you child’s education. Whatever you priority is, it should never hinder the way of happiness. Wow I feel like guruji! But am sharing what I feel today. I have just come back after seeing a couple of houses. That’s my current priority… look for a house in my budget… all my focus, kanjoosi is just to get a good house. I hope I could strike this off my list asap. I do not want to wake up tomorrow morning and wash off the dream of a happy life, off my eyes.
And as the night turns them into rheum
I wake up and wash it off next morning
Like I woke from a bundle of lies.
We all grow up with dreams and ambitions of becoming something. We nurture these fragile dreams till they come close to reality and then we all love to see them blossom. As a child when I grew up, I had no clue of any such thing. I was a free spirited soul that cared less about future and thought only about living for the moment. For me dreams were pictures that I saw with my eyes shut and forgot when I got up. My life was playing in the dirt, inventing new ways of entertaining myself and my people, only doing what made me happy. Then suddenly studies took over. Grades became priority because I scored well and then expectations from my own self rose high. My play time was engulfed by study time and I showed less of myself to my friends. Till I realized it wasn’t making me happy.
I set my priority right. Sports was what I loved doing even if my studies suffered, I did not want to be jack of all trades and a master of none. I enrolled myself in volleyball and basketball. I excelled because I enjoyed it. I played zonals and then again studies took over as my 12th boards stepped in the middle.
By the time I reached high school, my priority from fun shifted to sports. I knew I will never do anything run of the mill when I grow up. I was mad and even people expected me to either get into modeling or something similar. My choice was fashion designing. Till the time I passed my second boards, I had made up my mind to not join college and enroll with some fashion institute and learn designing. But one fine morning my priority had changed from fashion to nothing. I got up and the last day of college admission, I decided I will attend college and I did. I wanted to do a regular pass course for the sake of a degree, but my grades did not allow me to enter the college of my choice so I chose to join a girls college for primarily two reasons A) the course they offered was different and I like different, B) only that college had seats left for late risers like me. So I was studying advertising suddenly from no where. Now while I studied advertising, I was thinking of future. My priority was to outshine my classmates as I was discovering a part of me that I had never known. I was creative! And others discovered it for me. I loved every bit of being creative. I became so enthused by the ideas that boggled my mind that now I had a new direction in my life. I knew exactly where I wanted to be! I conducted ad contests in my batch and I was the 1st one to do so. I ran around to get people to lecture us on advertising. Two years of studying advertising I won the competitions however small they were I topped a bunch of 30 odd aspirants. I was the coolest human in their batch and I did not know it. my advertising teacher told me I had a bright future. I knew my priority had changed totally in life and winning had become a habit.
Took my habit seriously and found myself a job in an ad agency during the last yr of my college. I took up writing and that writing got me a job as a copywriter with a radio channel. I was moving out of my teens then and growing older…. Priority now was going up the ladder. My work however shady, shown and I rose up the hierarchy to lead my team. I grew and grew and suddenly being happy, playing sports, creative satisfaction all became distant visuals. I was chasing power. It is a high that one cannot describe. I was leading… and I wanted to go higher up, and so I was…. Money took over. I was earning… each year my bank reflected more and more money… I moved cities till I came to Mumbai and earned more!
All the previous priorities vanished from my memory. I was only chasing money till I got the setback of my life. I was loosing myself… anything I earned was not enough and it pinched me so hard that I secluded myself for introspection. Nothing much has changed since… only that I am not obsessed with power and money anymore. I have learned to satiate myself with whatever I have now. My priority is still earning money because I realize today that money may not mean anything by itself, but when it converts into something that could bring a smile to my family’s face, it becomes priceless. I am only striving hard enough to earn that much money now.
But when I look back from playing in the mud to where I am today, my priorities have changed so much! All of us begin with small dreams and priorities that we set for ourselves at every stage in our lives. Small things like today you may want a pink dress, but tomorrow the need could be green. Today your priority could be your husband… later your child… today you may be saving to buy a house…tomorrow for you child’s education. Whatever you priority is, it should never hinder the way of happiness. Wow I feel like guruji! But am sharing what I feel today. I have just come back after seeing a couple of houses. That’s my current priority… look for a house in my budget… all my focus, kanjoosi is just to get a good house. I hope I could strike this off my list asap. I do not want to wake up tomorrow morning and wash off the dream of a happy life, off my eyes.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Face one Face two
Koi eib nahi dhoondhe se milta tum mein
Kya itna andha hota hai yeh pyar
Chaahein saari duniya ki kamiyan ho tum mein
Tum jaise ho waise hi ho mujhe sweekar
All of us have two faces. I refuse accept that we can remain the same everywhere. Total shit! We are something else with our family and someone else with friends and others. We do not choose to be different with different people, its totally human. I guess we are genetically programmed that way.
I have always felt about people who we bitch about incessantly, that their families are usually unaware about their behavior outside. However sick and sly they may be outside, they are still the best for their family. Like for example this girl in our circle was the biggest rumor monger I may have come across in my life. She wouldn’t even need fire to raise smoke. Linking up people, spreading non-sense was like breathing to her. She was that every single bad adjective that we do not want to be. No single person I knew liked her… I wondered if her family knew how she was. Her sister loves her to death… that’s ok. But she refuses to accept that she would be so devious. Something that was so obvious to all was unacceptable to her. Her sister overlooks her bitchyness.
People who are perpetually scheming and plotting, is this aspect of their personality known to their kins? I think that people talk things behind my back about me. Good or bad… doesn’t matter. But to my dad and my sister I am the best. Same applies to me. To me my sister is an angel. I do not know what people in her office think about her… if she is authoritative or submissive… or how she is with her friends. I was stunned to know that my calm little sister is dominating with her fiancé. I look calm, behave aggressive but in actuality am the most passive person I know! Haha. To me there is no better example than myself… if I get yelled at for not doing something at work… my family wouldn’t know of my weakness. To me I am the most perfect person, so I possibly cannot commit a mistake. Even if I tell them the whole story they would only hold the other person responsible and empathize with me.
But come to think of it… the person closest to you… your siblings, your beaus’, your best friends… they don’t you entirely. They are going to be something else the moment they step outside the house…
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