Feels So Empty Without Me??? Really?

Life aint easy when you're one! Rockstar!!! Its tougher when you start thinking you're one. The world changes for you and everybody seems to be adoring you.

I have seen people change from rags to rockstars. Half of them totally pretentious. The other half, gobsmacked by their success and bowled over by what follows. Its hard to keep your head on your shoulders when everybody seems to be talking about you. I intently use the word SEEMS to be since that may not be the reality. It applies to me as well.

I remember being the underdog in my family. I was not quite the studies kinda person. Nobody expected me to even find a decent job and thought i'd probably end up modelling or acting or doing other dumb things. They never thought very high of me and today i see the same set talking about me and doing free PR for me. It means a lot to me. One, i love to prove people wrong and two, you never know what future has in store for you.

But one thing i surely learnt was that what you are is what will make people around you like. Complicated? I see a lot of people who have lost a lot in life including friends and family in the air of stardom. I head Radio and a fleet of jocks. We tell them that are min-celebs and that they are no less than any film celebrity. Infact i know a couple of film celebs who have their own fav radio jock. Its a big thing as even celebs listen to radio as a normal listener and have their own fav's like any other listener. Any human will get swept away by the fact that he/she is admired by BIG names. And even more so when the fact that he/she is a celeb themselves sinks in. Numerous fans and admirers come to visit you at the station, send you gifts, compliment you. Who wouldn't like it?

How often do you introspect and do a reality check. If in three weeks the number of calls you get, the scraps and friends on orkut and the blank calls at home shoot up, you know you are popular. Contrary to what we think, we change inside more than the world changes outside. Our perspective gets twisted more than the world's thinking about us. You'd suddenly see all eyes glaring at you when you're walking down the street, suddenly decrease your number of appearances in family functions and wait until people desperately look out for you. Eh! what has happened suddenly? you still are the same pappu, chappu, pinky, golu, chhotu or raju for your family so why have they become aliens for you?

Never forget, it is very lonely at the top. Life gives back everything you give to people on your way to up. So watch what you give. I truely believe that Stardom gets to your head while humililty & modesty touches the heart. You are a star only if you have the strength to hold your head on your shoulders and still aim at the sky.

Dont lose ground to take the flight, there will be no place to come back to

IESVS NAZARENVS REX IVDÆORVM

..... Will Miss You!!!

Upon this day I reminisce

with sadness and regret

the loss of my beloved

Special "child" who was my pet.

It's been only a few days of longing

Wishing you'd return to me ...

For though you left some time ago,

I cannot "set you free".

Though time has made it easier,

To go from day to day ...

No one can understand the

"Special" role your life did play.

For every day you were a part,

Of love and joy and life ...

You had a way that focused me

And lessened daily strife.

I'd hurry home to see your face,

Behind that window pane;

Where wiggles, hugs and cuddles

Brightened up the worst of days.

And now I sit, with eyes tear filled,

You are not by my side;

And when I see the window,

It is bare and bleak inside.

Emotions, they are raw today,

I'm simply torn apart ...

For hollow, wrenching feelings

Tear apart this very heart.

An emptiness, that's deeper than

The oceans ... fill my soul;

A painful hunger bites my

Inner self beyond control.

For though time would heal the daily wounds

I wore upon my sleeve,

I shelter from the world outside

Just what you meant to me.

To me, you were more human

Than some others I have known ...

You gave such love and tenderness;

T'was deep within your soul.

Now spring is here, and little things

we loved now cause me harm ...

The walks we'd take around the yard

No longer hold their charm.

I see you as I turn each step,

I watch for you each day ...

Oh little one, I miss you so,...

Much more than words can say

by Kit McCallum

Happy Faces

Happy Faces!!! That's because we have someway made a lot of people happy today. 9 months of painful labour has resulted into an ecstatic delivery! My 4th and the gang's FIRST. So you know why they look so happy.

One thing I realised today, no matter how redundant the joy may be it never fails to make you happy. Its not how repetitive it is but how every time it brings the same amount of joy in our lives. Everytime i insert that song "Maa tujhe Salaam" it sends chills down my spine, every time the song ends for the 1st jock talk to begin it makes me emotional.. everytime i come out of the studio after the links it makes me nostalgic and its fantastic.

Indore, Jaipur, Aurangabad and now Nagpur! The places may be geographically apart but the nervous faces don't change, the anxeity remains the same. Its amazing really how the air suddenly changes. The perspective changes in turn. Before we came in i am sure nobody cared to even look at the radio, now tomorrow will bring about the biggest change in each one of us. We get more aware of who listens, what they listen to, why they listen to, how many people have their handsfree on and speculate what channel they may be listening to even if they only talking on fone! How we become possesive about everything that is associated with us or vice a versa.

I remember when we go to cinema halls everytime we see our logos we shout and clap and cheer like we own the brand. That milli second makes us so proud in the crowd of 500 people. When we walk into events flaunting our status it makes us feel like we are mini stars. Such an illusive world but after all its happy! Nothing is wrong really with having a world of ur own as long its keeping you happy and not harming anybody else.

The world was created for us at 4.30 pm today... the video and pics say it all.... today am proud to have existed to have been a part of probably the most anticipated joy of the city. I am glad i am a carrier of god's most humbling emotion - SMILE which we would successfully bring to million faces from this day on. Asawari, Soni, Pritam, Vallari, MIlind, Denny, Anup and the rockstar Bhaggu-Glad to have a team which will translate each emotion on air. ROCK ON... make more faces happy. That's the reward you get every single second.