Do I Believe You???

One bitten twice shy. She swears by it. She has just gotten out of a tumultuous relationship and she is relieved and how! Some 4 odd men she dated in the past have all been losers. Not that she has a thing for such men but I guess subconsciously she likes to parent rotten men. She thought this last guy would be the 'forever one in her life. They had made promises to each other, they had dreamed of a family together, they had planned the future together and today he is walking his way and so is she.

Each one had assured her a secure future and each one of them failed. They were all flunkies right from the beginning. They could never rise up to their own expectations let alone meeting hers. They were all kids in their teens not wanting to grow up. That’s a bit of a problem coz she was growing up everyday and the age gap grew on to become a generation gap! That’s not a happy thought to grow up with. In addition to that, they were the most thankless beings on the face of earth.

She always wanted to believe that they all meant what they said. She always wanted to believe that there are happy endings to every relationship. May be breaking up was a happy ending. Nonetheless, she wanted to believe there were genuinely ‘together forever’ like happy endings like she read in fairy tales or MB’s. Sadly they are all only stories. Had there been anything like an ideal man or the right guy, the world we live would be called Utopia. But the fact is we live in dystopia and we fight beliefs, notions and dreams everyday. We see them shatter ever day and yet dream of an idealistic world, where promises are only sentences and ‘I love you’ is a mere statement.

The girl really wanted someone true to his heart and true to his words. You don’t need a He-man to be the man of your dreams, he could be really anybody regular… but lives by his word. Adultery is so easy for men, so it is for women if they want, but you know when a woman is going wrong. Men are born with a poker face. So when he’s say ‘I love you’ like a zillion times in the day, you’d not know if he really means it or is saying to hide his side business. So how do you believe them? She encountered this several times with a guy who was born with the philandering nerve on his sleeve. He would get talking to every girl almost. She was disturbed. She knew deep inside that he loved her and he said that too, but his ways never gave her that confidence in the relationship. The result – they split.

We often say something to please others when we don’t really mean it. Shallow is the word for such people. It’s not a good trait to have becoz you only end up disappointing a lot of people around you. She was disappointed too. He told her he will take care of her issues from past. That’s like ‘the’ thing any chik would ask for from a man… security. She was so reassured and comforted with this guy who later turned out to be such a chicken that he couldn’t even take care of his own crisis. She became a distant picture then. The fissure was obvious between the two and it drove her away from him eventually. They gave each other cold vibes for many days until they realized that too was a waste and would solve no purpose so they completely cut contact. So how does she believe any man when he says ‘I will take care of your worries?’

She has now chanced upon this charming guy, who is unlike all other. Doesn’t express what he feels, doesn’t make fake promises (doesn’t make any at all), doesn’t lie coz what he says hurts which means he speaks the truth and is brutally honest to the point of being brusque. Nice. She is willing to give it another chance and she is giving it a thought as well. He said ‘I am your man, leave all your worries at the doorstep with me’. What does that mean???? She’s thinking now… it’s another rat trap…do I really believe you?