Blue, green, purple, yellow, red are the shades of his life. Red is what describes him best, Vibrant! Alive! Lively! His lips are red as red can be. His smile can bring a laugh on any glum face. His antics can put you into splits.
He takes the stage, rather is pushed to take it by the trapeze artist that dragged him on. His pants fall off as soon as he comes on stage. Hurriedly he holds on to one side of the pant and looks around at the laughing crowd. He frowns and the crowd sniggers, he smiles and the crowd bursts out into laughter. The fire eater blows fire from his mouth onto his face. He is jostled away into the pond of water with his head on fire. The audience cracks up. He gets up with a quirky smile on his face as if he is up to another mischief. A trapeze sways him off his feet high up in the air and throws him down on the net. He waggles his hands and legs in the air as he falls on the trampoline and bounces back as high in the air. The trapeze kicks him on his left butt and he gets tossed as he gets kicked on the right and falls down on the trampoline face down. His red lips smudge up to the ear. He gets off the trampoline to be chased out of the stage by a dog. The audiences love him. They laugh and clap for him. His job is done for the day. Today he made 1500 odd faces smile.
He has returned to his room, sitting in front of the mirror. He sees children go by behind him, pointing towards him laughing and throwing popcorn at him. He turns around and makes funny faces at them. They laugh and go by. He turns around removes his cap with blue hair to show his bald skull. He wipes off his red lips to reveal a frown. He washes his make up to expose the sad face. As he looks at the mirror he tries to identify with the person he is looking at. Goes closer to the mirror, touches the reflection and retracts. He is repulsed. Tears wash out the make up on his eyes and blackened droplets roll down his white painted cheeks. He stood up startled. Changed into his tattered pale clothes and walked out.
A pier burning with a body on it. He has finally done the last rights for his mother. He returns home to an empty house. His mother was the only joy in his life. When he would return home after making innumerable faces light up, his mom was the one who made him smile. He sleeps with his naked face and bare head exposed to the world that doesn’t recognize him like this. He has a job again. The same trapeze, the same fire eater, the same pool and the same dog. Audiences change but his face beneath the make up remains the same. The crowd sees his histrionics but miss his tears. They clap on his jokes but overlook the pain. They see the smudged red lips but don’t see the bleeding heart.
Today, he is quiet. The clown has lost his laughter. No joke in the world can make him laugh. Life played a joke on him and he couldn’t laugh at it. The jester!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
We swing both ways
Yah! The whole country swings both ways. We are shamelessly spineless and blatantly ignorant about it. We as a country are collective morons. I know this will fuel a lot of negativity and bad vibe for me and I am sure a few nasty comments too.
The fact is, I would like to re-emphasize, I love my country too much to see anybody maligning it. Only that I have a curious mind and I question everything that puzzles me. I genuinely feel that we as a country are two faced. We say something when we do something else. Its unfortunate that an entire nation so progressive is that regressive in its thoughts. No progress can ever happen unless we progress in our thoughts and in turn actions.
We are broad minded is a very ‘cool’ thing to say. So many parents say that they are broad minded and yet when their children do something not so acceptable, they are grounded. I have been thinking about this for long. It started in Indore when our office was raided by the Bajrang Dal protesting against us celebrating V-day. Out of the many protestors defaming us and cursing us for celebrating what they feel is ‘anti-India’ culture, I saw atleast three of them by the evening dating their girls by the evening in a swanky café! How pro culture is that? Such a bunch of sanctimonious goons. All of them actually. They believe in convenient truth, convenient facts and convenient religion. It gets twisted whenever they want. Such a shame!
Innumerable incidents that I can think of off the cuff, Sania Mirza wearing short clothes for tennis was issues a fatwah against and what about the Nigar Khan’s and Mumaith Khan’s who don’t wear anything! Hritik and Ash were subject to a silly PIL for their sizzling kiss on screen when I am sure the person must have enjoyed watching it, rewinding and playing it a zillion times, more than anybody! Many more really…
I very strongly support sex education at school level. Look at our ‘leaders’ who want to build an ideal country, so subconscious creating a monster beneath, the monster of lack of education about the most basic instinct in our race. I don’t understand if you send them to pre-pre-school at a tender age of 2+ where they anyway pick up habits and culture that you don’t want them to, so why hold back education that is so important. Are we fools to blind ourselves to the fact that this generation is far far ahead of us in terms of access to information of any kind. Information that can be misleading or may be even irrelevant. Who has given us the right to hold back information anyway? What do these politicians and so called moral polices have to say about teenage pregnancies, child rapes and sexual molestation in schools? The biggest health threat world over is AIDS and everybody is struggling to curb it at whatever level possible. Drugs being invented, crores being spent on the medicine, massive education and awareness campaigns run across and we are doing nothing to help it. How good would you feel when your children get all the wrong information from somewhere else? How would you feel if they are contracted with AIDS, god forbid! Who are you going to blame? SEX, was given to the world by us. We are boastful of the fact that we have temples devoted to sex and it still attracts tourists by the thousands. Why do we hide in shame what is so part of our culture?
Bangalore – women beaten up by the Sree Ram Sena, a self proclaimed culture police, for going to a pub! They call themselves Ram Sena. When in the name of god did Ram teach anybody to beat women up? Well, actually less should I speak about the Indian god culture also. Our ancient temples and drawings always depicted women’s nude upper half and we talk of clothes that are anti-culture! Such an oxymorn! We worship Lord Shiva, in the form of a shiv-ling. What exactly is a shivling? It’s a male genital progressing out of a female base. A shivling is always found with a yoni. The symbol can be deciphered in many ways. The most common being, Lord Shiva is considered to be the destroyer of life form thus giving way to creation of new. The symbol hence stands for creation of life. It’s the androgynous communion of energies and universe.
The epics and Puranas tell how a great fire appeared from the cosmic waters, and from this flame Linga Shiva emerged to claim supremacy and worship over Brahma and Vishnu, when he was castrated because he seduced sages’ wives in the pine forests of Himalayas. He castrated himself because no one could castrate the Supreme Lord. Thus fallen phallus of the Supreme Lord destroyed all the worlds until it reached the Yoni of Uma/Parvati and cooled down. All procreation of worlds started after the worship of Yoni-Linga was restored and all Gods, including Vishnu and Brahma accepted supremacy of Lord Shiva. This may be perverted for some, but yes we actually worship a LINGA, since childhood… little did we know then! Yet we are averse to educating ourselves about Sex.
Another very interesting story I learnt a few days ago. My friend who is extremely fond of food and has a fair amount of knowledge about it shared this with me. The Goddess of food is offered rice and ghee. Lord Shiva had invited her to earth to beg for Rice (bheeksha) which he then distributed throughout the world. The rice was not cleansed unless it was mixed with ghee. Apparently ghee is a representation of Lord Shiva’s sperm. So only when ghee is mizxed with the rice is it pure enough to be given away to the world. Ghee was what he had mixed in the many ingredients that gave birth to Lord Ganesha.
So, are you hiding in shame already? Our race is the proud creator of the world’s most respected literature ‘Kamasutra’. We have the richest culture in the whole of the universe yet we cannot hold our stand? We are ready to kill in the name of religion but are united in useless things, a religion that was never a religion. Hinduism, is a way of life not a religion. We are such a pretentious crowd. We make believe in a delusion and ignore the facts. We make our own rules that change according to our convenience. Our religion is merely a cover up for a lot of our angst inside that we take out in such a disgraceful manner. We hide behind what we should ideally defend. I wish this country was not so cowardly and regressive about its thinking. I wish for a brighter country with really broadminded leaders in every sense.
I have very few good options to choose from the current contestants, so my vote, I am not sure would go for the deserving candidate. Yet I hope that one day, one among us will stand up to clean the dirt in our minds. As for now, I can write, so I have.
PS: I am not an atheist, neither am I anti-religion and certainly not here to hurt any feelings. I am a staunch Hindu and I have worshipped all the aforesaid deities with no less respect and faith. My issue is with the people who twist the facts and run away from it. I have a problem with people who have double standards. Rest can rest in peace.
The fact is, I would like to re-emphasize, I love my country too much to see anybody maligning it. Only that I have a curious mind and I question everything that puzzles me. I genuinely feel that we as a country are two faced. We say something when we do something else. Its unfortunate that an entire nation so progressive is that regressive in its thoughts. No progress can ever happen unless we progress in our thoughts and in turn actions.
We are broad minded is a very ‘cool’ thing to say. So many parents say that they are broad minded and yet when their children do something not so acceptable, they are grounded. I have been thinking about this for long. It started in Indore when our office was raided by the Bajrang Dal protesting against us celebrating V-day. Out of the many protestors defaming us and cursing us for celebrating what they feel is ‘anti-India’ culture, I saw atleast three of them by the evening dating their girls by the evening in a swanky café! How pro culture is that? Such a bunch of sanctimonious goons. All of them actually. They believe in convenient truth, convenient facts and convenient religion. It gets twisted whenever they want. Such a shame!
Innumerable incidents that I can think of off the cuff, Sania Mirza wearing short clothes for tennis was issues a fatwah against and what about the Nigar Khan’s and Mumaith Khan’s who don’t wear anything! Hritik and Ash were subject to a silly PIL for their sizzling kiss on screen when I am sure the person must have enjoyed watching it, rewinding and playing it a zillion times, more than anybody! Many more really…
I very strongly support sex education at school level. Look at our ‘leaders’ who want to build an ideal country, so subconscious creating a monster beneath, the monster of lack of education about the most basic instinct in our race. I don’t understand if you send them to pre-pre-school at a tender age of 2+ where they anyway pick up habits and culture that you don’t want them to, so why hold back education that is so important. Are we fools to blind ourselves to the fact that this generation is far far ahead of us in terms of access to information of any kind. Information that can be misleading or may be even irrelevant. Who has given us the right to hold back information anyway? What do these politicians and so called moral polices have to say about teenage pregnancies, child rapes and sexual molestation in schools? The biggest health threat world over is AIDS and everybody is struggling to curb it at whatever level possible. Drugs being invented, crores being spent on the medicine, massive education and awareness campaigns run across and we are doing nothing to help it. How good would you feel when your children get all the wrong information from somewhere else? How would you feel if they are contracted with AIDS, god forbid! Who are you going to blame? SEX, was given to the world by us. We are boastful of the fact that we have temples devoted to sex and it still attracts tourists by the thousands. Why do we hide in shame what is so part of our culture?
Bangalore – women beaten up by the Sree Ram Sena, a self proclaimed culture police, for going to a pub! They call themselves Ram Sena. When in the name of god did Ram teach anybody to beat women up? Well, actually less should I speak about the Indian god culture also. Our ancient temples and drawings always depicted women’s nude upper half and we talk of clothes that are anti-culture! Such an oxymorn! We worship Lord Shiva, in the form of a shiv-ling. What exactly is a shivling? It’s a male genital progressing out of a female base. A shivling is always found with a yoni. The symbol can be deciphered in many ways. The most common being, Lord Shiva is considered to be the destroyer of life form thus giving way to creation of new. The symbol hence stands for creation of life. It’s the androgynous communion of energies and universe.
The epics and Puranas tell how a great fire appeared from the cosmic waters, and from this flame Linga Shiva emerged to claim supremacy and worship over Brahma and Vishnu, when he was castrated because he seduced sages’ wives in the pine forests of Himalayas. He castrated himself because no one could castrate the Supreme Lord. Thus fallen phallus of the Supreme Lord destroyed all the worlds until it reached the Yoni of Uma/Parvati and cooled down. All procreation of worlds started after the worship of Yoni-Linga was restored and all Gods, including Vishnu and Brahma accepted supremacy of Lord Shiva. This may be perverted for some, but yes we actually worship a LINGA, since childhood… little did we know then! Yet we are averse to educating ourselves about Sex. Another very interesting story I learnt a few days ago. My friend who is extremely fond of food and has a fair amount of knowledge about it shared this with me. The Goddess of food is offered rice and ghee. Lord Shiva had invited her to earth to beg for Rice (bheeksha) which he then distributed throughout the world. The rice was not cleansed unless it was mixed with ghee. Apparently ghee is a representation of Lord Shiva’s sperm. So only when ghee is mizxed with the rice is it pure enough to be given away to the world. Ghee was what he had mixed in the many ingredients that gave birth to Lord Ganesha.
So, are you hiding in shame already? Our race is the proud creator of the world’s most respected literature ‘Kamasutra’. We have the richest culture in the whole of the universe yet we cannot hold our stand? We are ready to kill in the name of religion but are united in useless things, a religion that was never a religion. Hinduism, is a way of life not a religion. We are such a pretentious crowd. We make believe in a delusion and ignore the facts. We make our own rules that change according to our convenience. Our religion is merely a cover up for a lot of our angst inside that we take out in such a disgraceful manner. We hide behind what we should ideally defend. I wish this country was not so cowardly and regressive about its thinking. I wish for a brighter country with really broadminded leaders in every sense.
I have very few good options to choose from the current contestants, so my vote, I am not sure would go for the deserving candidate. Yet I hope that one day, one among us will stand up to clean the dirt in our minds. As for now, I can write, so I have.
PS: I am not an atheist, neither am I anti-religion and certainly not here to hurt any feelings. I am a staunch Hindu and I have worshipped all the aforesaid deities with no less respect and faith. My issue is with the people who twist the facts and run away from it. I have a problem with people who have double standards. Rest can rest in peace.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Do I Believe You???
One bitten twice shy. She swears by it. She has just gotten out of a tumultuous relationship and she is relieved and how! Some 4 odd men she dated in the past have all been losers. Not that she has a thing for such men but I guess subconsciously she likes to parent rotten men. She thought this last guy would be the 'forever one in her life. They had made promises to each other, they had dreamed of a family together, they had planned the future together and today he is walking his way and so is she.
Each one had assured her a secure future and each one of them failed. They were all flunkies right from the beginning. They could never rise up to their own expectations let alone meeting hers. They were all kids in their teens not wanting to grow up. That’s a bit of a problem coz she was growing up everyday and the age gap grew on to become a generation gap! That’s not a happy thought to grow up with. In addition to that, they were the most thankless beings on the face of earth.
She always wanted to believe that they all meant what they said. She always wanted to believe that there are happy endings to every relationship. May be breaking up was a happy ending. Nonetheless, she wanted to believe there were genuinely ‘together forever’ like happy endings like she read in fairy tales or MB’s. Sadly they are all only stories. Had there been anything like an ideal man or the right guy, the world we live would be called Utopia. But the fact is we live in dystopia and we fight beliefs, notions and dreams everyday. We see them shatter ever day and yet dream of an idealistic world, where promises are only sentences and ‘I love you’ is a mere statement.
The girl really wanted someone true to his heart and true to his words. You don’t need a He-man to be the man of your dreams, he could be really anybody regular… but lives by his word. Adultery is so easy for men, so it is for women if they want, but you know when a woman is going wrong. Men are born with a poker face. So when he’s say ‘I love you’ like a zillion times in the day, you’d not know if he really means it or is saying to hide his side business. So how do you believe them? She encountered this several times with a guy who was born with the philandering nerve on his sleeve. He would get talking to every girl almost. She was disturbed. She knew deep inside that he loved her and he said that too, but his ways never gave her that confidence in the relationship. The result – they split.
We often say something to please others when we don’t really mean it. Shallow is the word for such people. It’s not a good trait to have becoz you only end up disappointing a lot of people around you. She was disappointed too. He told her he will take care of her issues from past. That’s like ‘the’ thing any chik would ask for from a man… security. She was so reassured and comforted with this guy who later turned out to be such a chicken that he couldn’t even take care of his own crisis. She became a distant picture then. The fissure was obvious between the two and it drove her away from him eventually. They gave each other cold vibes for many days until they realized that too was a waste and would solve no purpose so they completely cut contact. So how does she believe any man when he says ‘I will take care of your worries?’
She has now chanced upon this charming guy, who is unlike all other. Doesn’t express what he feels, doesn’t make fake promises (doesn’t make any at all), doesn’t lie coz what he says hurts which means he speaks the truth and is brutally honest to the point of being brusque. Nice. She is willing to give it another chance and she is giving it a thought as well. He said ‘I am your man, leave all your worries at the doorstep with me’. What does that mean???? She’s thinking now… it’s another rat trap…do I really believe you?
Each one had assured her a secure future and each one of them failed. They were all flunkies right from the beginning. They could never rise up to their own expectations let alone meeting hers. They were all kids in their teens not wanting to grow up. That’s a bit of a problem coz she was growing up everyday and the age gap grew on to become a generation gap! That’s not a happy thought to grow up with. In addition to that, they were the most thankless beings on the face of earth.
She always wanted to believe that they all meant what they said. She always wanted to believe that there are happy endings to every relationship. May be breaking up was a happy ending. Nonetheless, she wanted to believe there were genuinely ‘together forever’ like happy endings like she read in fairy tales or MB’s. Sadly they are all only stories. Had there been anything like an ideal man or the right guy, the world we live would be called Utopia. But the fact is we live in dystopia and we fight beliefs, notions and dreams everyday. We see them shatter ever day and yet dream of an idealistic world, where promises are only sentences and ‘I love you’ is a mere statement.
The girl really wanted someone true to his heart and true to his words. You don’t need a He-man to be the man of your dreams, he could be really anybody regular… but lives by his word. Adultery is so easy for men, so it is for women if they want, but you know when a woman is going wrong. Men are born with a poker face. So when he’s say ‘I love you’ like a zillion times in the day, you’d not know if he really means it or is saying to hide his side business. So how do you believe them? She encountered this several times with a guy who was born with the philandering nerve on his sleeve. He would get talking to every girl almost. She was disturbed. She knew deep inside that he loved her and he said that too, but his ways never gave her that confidence in the relationship. The result – they split.
We often say something to please others when we don’t really mean it. Shallow is the word for such people. It’s not a good trait to have becoz you only end up disappointing a lot of people around you. She was disappointed too. He told her he will take care of her issues from past. That’s like ‘the’ thing any chik would ask for from a man… security. She was so reassured and comforted with this guy who later turned out to be such a chicken that he couldn’t even take care of his own crisis. She became a distant picture then. The fissure was obvious between the two and it drove her away from him eventually. They gave each other cold vibes for many days until they realized that too was a waste and would solve no purpose so they completely cut contact. So how does she believe any man when he says ‘I will take care of your worries?’
She has now chanced upon this charming guy, who is unlike all other. Doesn’t express what he feels, doesn’t make fake promises (doesn’t make any at all), doesn’t lie coz what he says hurts which means he speaks the truth and is brutally honest to the point of being brusque. Nice. She is willing to give it another chance and she is giving it a thought as well. He said ‘I am your man, leave all your worries at the doorstep with me’. What does that mean???? She’s thinking now… it’s another rat trap…do I really believe you?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
SMS's sometimes....
Some text fwd's on my fone really tick me off... i hate them... some find a place in my saved list. This is one of the nice messages i got that always stays in my inbox
Life means : A winter evening, four friends, mild rain, four pegs of rum. Life means: 100 bucks for petrol, two rusty old bikes, an open road. Life means: Maggi noodles, a hostel room, 3.25am, sonu nigam and asha bhonsle on the radio. Life means: 1 prep leave, 1 night, 1 book, 8 duffers. Life means: 1 girl/ boy, 1 number, 4 friends and a fight.
Now life means: old friends, separate cities, separate lives and endless messages to stay in touch.
I somehow agree... another in this series
Ek din zindagi aise mukaam par pahuch jayegi
dosti sirf yaadon mein reh jayegi
har cup chai yaad doston ki dilayegi
aur haste haste fir aankhein nam ho jayegi
Office ke cabin mein classroom nazar aayegi
par chahne par bhi proxy nahi lag payegi
paise to bahut hoga magar
unhe lutane ki wajah hi kho jayegi
jee le khulke is pal ko mere dost
kyunki zindagi in palon ko
fir se nahi dohrayegi!
:)
Life means : A winter evening, four friends, mild rain, four pegs of rum. Life means: 100 bucks for petrol, two rusty old bikes, an open road. Life means: Maggi noodles, a hostel room, 3.25am, sonu nigam and asha bhonsle on the radio. Life means: 1 prep leave, 1 night, 1 book, 8 duffers. Life means: 1 girl/ boy, 1 number, 4 friends and a fight.
Now life means: old friends, separate cities, separate lives and endless messages to stay in touch.
I somehow agree... another in this series
Ek din zindagi aise mukaam par pahuch jayegi
dosti sirf yaadon mein reh jayegi
har cup chai yaad doston ki dilayegi
aur haste haste fir aankhein nam ho jayegi
Office ke cabin mein classroom nazar aayegi
par chahne par bhi proxy nahi lag payegi
paise to bahut hoga magar
unhe lutane ki wajah hi kho jayegi
jee le khulke is pal ko mere dost
kyunki zindagi in palon ko
fir se nahi dohrayegi!
:)
Thursday, April 09, 2009
You Freak!
You can't be quiet for so long... no no... there is some problem... may be the network is down... or may be something's wrong ... she picks it 5 times in 10 secs to check and re-check and then her face goes pale. Shuts it off and reboots... waits patiently... beats her fingers on the table in anticipation and the phone vibrates for an incoming message. I can see her glow with joy.
She quickly picks her fone up and leaves the meeting. In 10 mins she is back. Keeps the phone on her lap and keeps fiddling with it. Shes a freak!
But so are most of us. We may forget to carry our wallets but will never forget to carry the mobile phone. When we loose one, the whole house comes crashing down. Work stops and everything important ceases to exist. Where ever you go you'd only see people pressing buttons and necks bent. Such is the addiction.
The world is addicted to it. Everywhere, at the bus stop, in the train... in the auto... while driving the car at the signals... in a party... in the loo and in your bedroom while you are at it, absolutely anywhere! Cell phones have invaded our lives and how yet not to forgo the fact that it has invaded our privacy ...!!! At the cost of sounding cliched and preachy 'how can we be addicted to a piece of shit like that?'
I read that an estimated 40% adults the world over use their cell phones for more than 4 hours be it talking, msging or just playing with their phones. Some actually get deeply upset and offended if they do not get a msg or call for a long time. Its a psychological disorder dude! Its addiction of a dangerous kind. I hate talking on phone. I attribute this to the late arrival of any kind of phone in our house. I had my first telephone connection at home when i was in class 12th. I had to go to the PCO to make any kinda call before that. So i am happiest when the phone is not around. Actually life is so peaceful without the phone. Atleast i feel so.
I feel my privacy is invaded the moment my phone rings because the person calling doesnt even have the faintest idea what i may be doing... he would ring up because he felt so! I may be in a meeting.. driving... in the loo.. sleeping anything! What was life without mobile phones earlier? Was the care and concern towards near and dear ones any lesser? Was any work so unimportant then that the person neednt be contacted? I agree to all the shallow shit that its a gadget of convenience and all that crap... but no gadget is convenient if i cannot control the input and output of it. It will never be convenient to me. I am obligated to keep this gadget and now since i have it, i have to keep it switched ON all the time. Work demands fones to be on silent and that's the best time of my day when i cannot hear and fone ringing. In some time you get use to your fones not being around.
I am pissed with this freak invention of some buffoon whose miserable prank of ruining private lives turned into the biggest invention of the century. This invention meant for another sort of communication creeped into ou lives to worsen it only. I choose not to surrender to this device... i choose not to be a slave of this technology. I rather sleep in peace and not wake up in the middle of night with some arbitrary msg tone and stupid creep calling me in the middle of the night. I choose not to be a mobile freak!
I will soon shut my mobile off! Forever! Lemme see how it affects my life or may be not! I rest my case!
She quickly picks her fone up and leaves the meeting. In 10 mins she is back. Keeps the phone on her lap and keeps fiddling with it. Shes a freak!
But so are most of us. We may forget to carry our wallets but will never forget to carry the mobile phone. When we loose one, the whole house comes crashing down. Work stops and everything important ceases to exist. Where ever you go you'd only see people pressing buttons and necks bent. Such is the addiction.
The world is addicted to it. Everywhere, at the bus stop, in the train... in the auto... while driving the car at the signals... in a party... in the loo and in your bedroom while you are at it, absolutely anywhere! Cell phones have invaded our lives and how yet not to forgo the fact that it has invaded our privacy ...!!! At the cost of sounding cliched and preachy 'how can we be addicted to a piece of shit like that?'
I read that an estimated 40% adults the world over use their cell phones for more than 4 hours be it talking, msging or just playing with their phones. Some actually get deeply upset and offended if they do not get a msg or call for a long time. Its a psychological disorder dude! Its addiction of a dangerous kind. I hate talking on phone. I attribute this to the late arrival of any kind of phone in our house. I had my first telephone connection at home when i was in class 12th. I had to go to the PCO to make any kinda call before that. So i am happiest when the phone is not around. Actually life is so peaceful without the phone. Atleast i feel so.
I feel my privacy is invaded the moment my phone rings because the person calling doesnt even have the faintest idea what i may be doing... he would ring up because he felt so! I may be in a meeting.. driving... in the loo.. sleeping anything! What was life without mobile phones earlier? Was the care and concern towards near and dear ones any lesser? Was any work so unimportant then that the person neednt be contacted? I agree to all the shallow shit that its a gadget of convenience and all that crap... but no gadget is convenient if i cannot control the input and output of it. It will never be convenient to me. I am obligated to keep this gadget and now since i have it, i have to keep it switched ON all the time. Work demands fones to be on silent and that's the best time of my day when i cannot hear and fone ringing. In some time you get use to your fones not being around.
I am pissed with this freak invention of some buffoon whose miserable prank of ruining private lives turned into the biggest invention of the century. This invention meant for another sort of communication creeped into ou lives to worsen it only. I choose not to surrender to this device... i choose not to be a slave of this technology. I rather sleep in peace and not wake up in the middle of night with some arbitrary msg tone and stupid creep calling me in the middle of the night. I choose not to be a mobile freak!
I will soon shut my mobile off! Forever! Lemme see how it affects my life or may be not! I rest my case!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
The work's of a restless mind
and they lived happily ever after...
Ya that's a Cinderella ending anybody would wish for. All's well that ends well... but what if it doesnt end? Its vicious sometime... don't you feel like the hamster in the treadmill who keeps running endlessly without realising his run will never end, unless he decides to jump out. And sometimes thats the solution. Sometimes when the world is round you have to find another shape to fit yourself in.
This cycle of thots is endless. I cannot divert my mind elsewhere today and this has been like it for many days now. Just constant thots about everything and anything its almost garbage. This can't be called 'thinking' because that is voluntary but with me its an automated process. The moment i wake up my mind picks up at 440kmph in a second and it only stops when i sleep. I dont remember my dreams thats because my mind or the sub-conscious has no one thot to weave a dream about!
Like i said i rarely get headaches and thats only when i am supremely stressed, i can't sit down to begin de-stressing myself bcoz my mind begins to wander. In a psychologists term i am going mad.
Not everything has a happy ending... somethings just end.. without a thot or emotion. Thats when too many emotions go into it and suddenly it becomes too overbearing. The hurt, the pain, the tears, the joy, the smile and simple things attached are no longer special. I actually believe (still) that everything has a happy ending... if its not happy its not the end... but may be somethings dont end either. They just dissolve. Meaninglessly... somethings never end....
Nevertheless, these fleeting thots i know can be put to rest only when i want to, i want to put an end to it but i can't catch hold of a single thot, the thots just keep going on and dont stop... but i know only i can stop my thots but....
Missing! - The 'M' factor in my life
A, B, C, D, .... L, N, O, P....
-issing!!! There's no M in -y life. The -ost i-portant one's that too! You don't feel the loss till you see others around you flaunting it.
MONEY, MEN, MOTHER and now my MIND. Why they went missing? I never questioned. One by one i felt the void the space it left behind as it went. One after the other. Hollow and nullified.
All are necessary. To me all are equally important.
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
-issing!!! There's no M in -y life. The -ost i-portant one's that too! You don't feel the loss till you see others around you flaunting it.
MONEY, MEN, MOTHER and now my MIND. Why they went missing? I never questioned. One by one i felt the void the space it left behind as it went. One after the other. Hollow and nullified.
All are necessary. To me all are equally important.
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
Anais Nin
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