Yah, that's the most popular track from Dostana, topping charts and on every body's lips these days. Desi - is by definition anything that 'belongs to the homeland'. The one term that is global Indian but in our country itself used in a very derogatory manner.
Desi to us is downmarket, of lesser species, 'ghaati' or LS! Strange... coz its meant to be very chic!
This new ad on TV, that of a brand of chips with Indian flavors, says a lot about the word 'Desi'. We, perhaps, are the only region in the world where every brand of edibles has customized their food to suit the 'Desi' taste buds. Coke and Pepsi's launched their colas with sweeter flavors. McDonald's nowhere in the world has a 'veg-aloo tikki' burger but they made one for India. Pepsi came out with Kurkure the Desi gaathiya to compliment the western alcoholic drinks, Indian curries making waves in the UK and US and even the Desi Chinese cuisine hitting big in the US!
It truly means being Indian at heart and i feel everybody is a desi at heart at some or the other level however hip and posh they may be otherwise. We may go to the hippest pub or disco ... show on the exterior how much we love hip hop reggaeton and all that jazz.... bang our heads into each other pretending to understand Rock, but our souls pep only when the DJ plays hindi bollywood songs! No amount of pizzas and sizzlers can ever satiate our appetites like dal chawal. We would still not understand most words in the english flick unless we switch the subtitles on and our day wouldnt end without using a swear word in chaste hindi!
It feels so comfortable to be desi where you don't have to wear the veil of pretence of being something that we as a race are not! I feel strange and pity for people who sham 'big boss' is LS and watch sex and the city instead. Sad about the people who feel playing hindi songs in ur car and not owning an english cd is LS. Women who wear suits and indian outfits are LS, speaking in Hindi with you friends is LS??? Were you born on planet USA???? What's wrong with being desi? How can anything so fabulously grounded and rustic be LS or downmarket... and above all, who decides that?
I am proud to be desi at heart. I speak hindi even when 100 other people around me speak in english, i am not embarassed about it. I watch hindi movies and i do not understand english movies. Keep your outlook global but your heart, desi. No matter how modern our men become they will still want an Indian bride who can look after their home. Guys will love girls who wear the choicest of western clothes but his heart will skip a beat only when she wears an Indian attire. After all, anything desi is straight from the heart and has to be good!
Desi is the word and the spirit to be! Ain't nothing like our desipan...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Pecksniffian air
I was thrilled i had a friend finally in this city where i feel totally ignored. 7 months it took me to get friendly with someone. I was sharing everything i was feeling with her and then i get to know she wasn't as genuine as i thot she would be! She was telling everythng to the other someone! What a daft i was... my problem is i believe everyone... for me everything is white... everyone is good n then darkness descends upon me! I have suddenly started to see everyone in different perspective now.
Everybody is living a pecksniffian life these days. Its a matter of trust and its tough to place it in any one person. The only thing they think about is themselves. The only person they are true to is themselves and the only thing they care about is themselves. While i have traversed through life and treaded the dreaded paths and relations, one experience has truely stood out that of being lied to!
The human brain is made to see the superficial, that we cannot see what is going on in the mind. The only way to remotely know it is through the expressions and sadly that can be faked too! So whatever little you could read from the face is also doubtful now. People say something, intrepret something else, blurt something else and the whole pretence of 'oh i care about you, you can share with me' is so trust breaking. So i don't know whom to trust. How to evaluate who is worthy of my trust?
Right now, i am left with no friend again... so i talk to myself in the night... i would like to read minds.
Everybody is living a pecksniffian life these days. Its a matter of trust and its tough to place it in any one person. The only thing they think about is themselves. The only person they are true to is themselves and the only thing they care about is themselves. While i have traversed through life and treaded the dreaded paths and relations, one experience has truely stood out that of being lied to!
The human brain is made to see the superficial, that we cannot see what is going on in the mind. The only way to remotely know it is through the expressions and sadly that can be faked too! So whatever little you could read from the face is also doubtful now. People say something, intrepret something else, blurt something else and the whole pretence of 'oh i care about you, you can share with me' is so trust breaking. So i don't know whom to trust. How to evaluate who is worthy of my trust?
Right now, i am left with no friend again... so i talk to myself in the night... i would like to read minds.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Bollywood Dreams
So Dostana is glamorous, chic, filled with some extremely hot looking people with surreal lifestyles. Such movies are only meant to transport you to fairyland and make you believe in fantasy. For me it was entertainment. The opening song has two of the hottest bodies in the industry - Shilpa Shetty and John Abrahim (read almost nude). Then enter Abhishek Bachhan with the tad worn out uber cool look. With Miami as the backdrop, there is bound to be a lot of bare bod display and joining the gang of 'oh look at me i am hot too' is Priyanka Chopra with microscopic clothes. I could see guys salivating over her fabulously toned abs and legs.
Frankly i knew what the movie would be like so i wasn't paying much attention either but while i almost skipped a beat when i saw John in that gray D&G, i was thinking what others in the packed house must be thinking.
Movies are such a relaxant and such a fantastic way of living your dreams that almost everybody starts to relate to one or the other character instantly. The house was packed on the premiere show with people of all walks of life excited about their own bit in the movie. If i were drooling over John somebody must be drooling over Abhishek am sure. While 90% of the guys would be fantasizing about Priyanka the rest who did not (rather could not) would be lusting over Abhishek and John! When i was walking up to the cinema hall i heard a woman exclaim painfully looking at the movie poster ' I don't want to watch this movie, Priyanka's looking so hot, she's lost so much weight!'. The lady surely was jealous of the gals body. Some wanna be's must have been admiring John's sculpted body. Some fashionista's must be examining Priyanka's costumes and some must be criticizing Abhishek's look thinking i look much better than him!
Every body had been enchanted by something from the film. I could see a gang of friends identifying with the friendship depicted in the movie while other's only dreaming of having one like that. I could imagine girls identifying with priyankas character being chased by 3 guys and not being able to make a choice. I could see men who had fallen for their best buddy but never been able to muster the courage to confess, relating to Junior Bs and Johns character. I could sense single men looking for a house dreaming of moving in with a woman like Neha. Some career centered women must be aspiring to be in Neha's place while most could have identified with her pathos of being superseded by a new guy for the position she was eying. A lot of women would have identified with her falling for her boss and some could have related to the awkwardness one feels after your best buddy proposes to you.
Since the movie halls near my area are flocked by TV stars and bollywood hotties most often, i could imagine some of them thinking in their minds that they would have done X role much better than Y. All the wanna be's thinking of playing a character like that or staring in a KJo movie some day. Every actor would imagine being the next lead opposite Priyanka!
Its such a mixed bag of emotions and the sheer vividness that one movie can create in each of the viewers heart. I salute the movie makers for the movie going experience and the jet d'eau of emotions they create on screen. More than the movie i enjoyed decoding each person's thought in the hall. Truly enigmatic, bollywood does give each one of us dreams to live for!
Frankly i knew what the movie would be like so i wasn't paying much attention either but while i almost skipped a beat when i saw John in that gray D&G, i was thinking what others in the packed house must be thinking.
Movies are such a relaxant and such a fantastic way of living your dreams that almost everybody starts to relate to one or the other character instantly. The house was packed on the premiere show with people of all walks of life excited about their own bit in the movie. If i were drooling over John somebody must be drooling over Abhishek am sure. While 90% of the guys would be fantasizing about Priyanka the rest who did not (rather could not) would be lusting over Abhishek and John! When i was walking up to the cinema hall i heard a woman exclaim painfully looking at the movie poster ' I don't want to watch this movie, Priyanka's looking so hot, she's lost so much weight!'. The lady surely was jealous of the gals body. Some wanna be's must have been admiring John's sculpted body. Some fashionista's must be examining Priyanka's costumes and some must be criticizing Abhishek's look thinking i look much better than him!
Every body had been enchanted by something from the film. I could see a gang of friends identifying with the friendship depicted in the movie while other's only dreaming of having one like that. I could imagine girls identifying with priyankas character being chased by 3 guys and not being able to make a choice. I could see men who had fallen for their best buddy but never been able to muster the courage to confess, relating to Junior Bs and Johns character. I could sense single men looking for a house dreaming of moving in with a woman like Neha. Some career centered women must be aspiring to be in Neha's place while most could have identified with her pathos of being superseded by a new guy for the position she was eying. A lot of women would have identified with her falling for her boss and some could have related to the awkwardness one feels after your best buddy proposes to you.
Since the movie halls near my area are flocked by TV stars and bollywood hotties most often, i could imagine some of them thinking in their minds that they would have done X role much better than Y. All the wanna be's thinking of playing a character like that or staring in a KJo movie some day. Every actor would imagine being the next lead opposite Priyanka!
Its such a mixed bag of emotions and the sheer vividness that one movie can create in each of the viewers heart. I salute the movie makers for the movie going experience and the jet d'eau of emotions they create on screen. More than the movie i enjoyed decoding each person's thought in the hall. Truly enigmatic, bollywood does give each one of us dreams to live for!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Walk of life...
Cold, conscious, alert, susceptible, vulnerable and ridiculed. This is how one feels when one is stripped! I am feeling the same right now.
Like everyone is ridiculing my state right now... like i am a joke and i can see people pointing their fingers at me and laughing out loud, like i am stripped! I have nowhere to run, no place to hide and no one to count on. Like everybody has suddenly turned their backs on me. Oblivion... thats my new address...
Your own friends can become strangers in the walk of life. The hands that you once held can become the hand that pushes you away today. The eyes that were full of love and affection for you once can become so cold one day. Friends whom you swore by once will turn around and curse you! The walk of life... aint as simple as i thot it is... and that is all because of what you are today and not what you actually are since forever.
In the most adverse times of your life, they say is the true test of your friendship and love, for those who stay by your side in your dips are the ones who care to see your ups... and those who get close in your ups are people who are scared of the dips! I may not have had too many ups but i can surely see in the dips who all chose to go away when i was climbing down. I can see who is waiting to console me in my dips. Very few i must say. Success can change perspectives really. But i am surprised it can be that of 'friends' as well. I think we must coin a new term for these short term 'conditions apply' friends. Ummm... how about calling them 'sunflowers'??? Coz they only last till the sun shines! or a better something else....
These sunflowers have all turned around and become nightmares. They have vanished when i needed them most... and am sure am not the only one who has seen times like these... plenty like me coz there are plenty like them too! I may have hurt somebody similarly.. APOLOGIES for it!
Walk of life... from point A to point B i have made many friends.. some strayed away by time, by choice, by circumstance... some i strayed away from! But one request to everyone... never mistake and aquaintanceship with friendship ever... there are emotions attached to the later that could be hurt. For those who stayed on... I VALUE YOU!!! THANKS for being my 'friend'.
Like everyone is ridiculing my state right now... like i am a joke and i can see people pointing their fingers at me and laughing out loud, like i am stripped! I have nowhere to run, no place to hide and no one to count on. Like everybody has suddenly turned their backs on me. Oblivion... thats my new address...
Your own friends can become strangers in the walk of life. The hands that you once held can become the hand that pushes you away today. The eyes that were full of love and affection for you once can become so cold one day. Friends whom you swore by once will turn around and curse you! The walk of life... aint as simple as i thot it is... and that is all because of what you are today and not what you actually are since forever.
In the most adverse times of your life, they say is the true test of your friendship and love, for those who stay by your side in your dips are the ones who care to see your ups... and those who get close in your ups are people who are scared of the dips! I may not have had too many ups but i can surely see in the dips who all chose to go away when i was climbing down. I can see who is waiting to console me in my dips. Very few i must say. Success can change perspectives really. But i am surprised it can be that of 'friends' as well. I think we must coin a new term for these short term 'conditions apply' friends. Ummm... how about calling them 'sunflowers'??? Coz they only last till the sun shines! or a better something else....
These sunflowers have all turned around and become nightmares. They have vanished when i needed them most... and am sure am not the only one who has seen times like these... plenty like me coz there are plenty like them too! I may have hurt somebody similarly.. APOLOGIES for it!
Walk of life... from point A to point B i have made many friends.. some strayed away by time, by choice, by circumstance... some i strayed away from! But one request to everyone... never mistake and aquaintanceship with friendship ever... there are emotions attached to the later that could be hurt. For those who stayed on... I VALUE YOU!!! THANKS for being my 'friend'.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Nightfall
I can't see... i am hazy.. my vision blurred or rather dark, my mind clogged and my head, heavy.
My thoughts have become super fast. My nights are up and awake. Clarity is what i call for. I m scared of darkness. I hate it when i can't see anything and eclipses disorient me. I cannot fight what i can't see.
Diwali is over, the dark is supposed to go. I am waiting for the new moon, some ray of light, some source of energy... It cannot be dark forever. Am taking my chance for now in the dim light. Touching feeling and understanding everything that seems so different in the dark. Simple things look like monsters, shadows appear. I can feel and sense everything around... eerie and cold. Everything but me.
My thoughts have become super fast. My nights are up and awake. Clarity is what i call for. I m scared of darkness. I hate it when i can't see anything and eclipses disorient me. I cannot fight what i can't see.
Diwali is over, the dark is supposed to go. I am waiting for the new moon, some ray of light, some source of energy... It cannot be dark forever. Am taking my chance for now in the dim light. Touching feeling and understanding everything that seems so different in the dark. Simple things look like monsters, shadows appear. I can feel and sense everything around... eerie and cold. Everything but me.
Monday, October 20, 2008
12 months, 1 year
Both happened. In sub sequence of 2 days. Overwhelming joy and sorrow. No complaints really but that's the cycle of life. Nobody can get anything in excess or forever. Nothing is forever. No joy no sorrow.
The joy being the launch of my station in Nagpur after an endless wait. No joy can compare to the feat of launching a new station. We were just recuperating from the brain damaging happiness and i got the news at 2. Gypsy, died. A dog for many who do not understand the affection of pets and a family member for who actually empathise. She was with us for 8 years and that's a long time. I was away, and i thank God for that. Coz i wouldn't have been able to ever get over it had i seen her dying.
I was alone, trying to hide my tears, but why? I love her immensely. I don't get depressed thinking of her today, because she has given me too much joy to think about her and feel sad.
Today completes the 1 year, of not having my pet around of not having to see her when i go back home, of not being loved by and not being asked for. 12 months have passed after the launch of Nagpur on 18th! I am so overjoyed by the fact that this journey has been so amazing and the talent i trained has managed to finally walk it on their own.
I am smiling today. 12 months and the 1 year has passed so soon. Both memories would live forever in my heart. Equally remembered!
The joy being the launch of my station in Nagpur after an endless wait. No joy can compare to the feat of launching a new station. We were just recuperating from the brain damaging happiness and i got the news at 2. Gypsy, died. A dog for many who do not understand the affection of pets and a family member for who actually empathise. She was with us for 8 years and that's a long time. I was away, and i thank God for that. Coz i wouldn't have been able to ever get over it had i seen her dying.
I was alone, trying to hide my tears, but why? I love her immensely. I don't get depressed thinking of her today, because she has given me too much joy to think about her and feel sad.
Today completes the 1 year, of not having my pet around of not having to see her when i go back home, of not being loved by and not being asked for. 12 months have passed after the launch of Nagpur on 18th! I am so overjoyed by the fact that this journey has been so amazing and the talent i trained has managed to finally walk it on their own.
I am smiling today. 12 months and the 1 year has passed so soon. Both memories would live forever in my heart. Equally remembered!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Inconnu
'so that's me, exactly me. I look like me, i smile like me, i even think like me', I was telling myself looking at the mirror. But do i really know myself? Who knows me? Who knows you??? We are inconnu!
Who knows you anyway? We are surrounded by people who constantly tells us how well they know us. Be it your boyfriend/girlfriend, your very close friends, your family, your acquaintances or anybody you meet even for a millisecond. They remember the next time you meet, what food you like, what color you like, what dress you wore and all that trash and it means they know you well. I like it! So convinient. So knowing somebody is basically just about knowing their likes and dislikes, knowing their friends and knowing the exterior! Or is it? So when your friends know you they mean they know what you like or dislike. What do they mean when they say they know you?
Frankly even your parents don't know you completely. No they can't. What they see of you is their child and what you are is something else. You may have a zillion flaws and your parents would voluntarily not notice them only because you are their child. So how well do they know you? Just as much as you know yourself.
All of us infact change according to circumstances; consciously or sub consciously. Plus, all of us grow with our experiences as well. So its not neccesary that we react the same way to the same situation at two different occasions and its completely natural. Does it mean that we have changed? ummm... may be yes, may be not! Our choices, likes and dislikes... our decisions and so many other things so depend on the today we are living in that i may have planned the biggest house on a particular land and just when i start digging the foundation i may find an oil reserve and start a petrol pump there! Have i changed????
What we are in front of our parents we are not in front of the friends and not the same in front of our collegues and not all in front of strangers and neither knows how you are in front of the other. So if we have so many different facets in just one personality who would you say knows you thouroughly? You??? Would you know if you'd react the same way to the same thing at two different time zones? Damn!
I was watching big boss (yes i watch it regularly and if i may say... i am a fan!) i realised how everybody was totally contrary to what i percieved of them or how they showed. Like a payal was the biggest shock to me... somebody who pretends to be sober and demure suddenly became this stupid bimbette who is so suffering from attention deficit syndrome that she couldn't look straight into people's eyes without looking through them at the camera once. Her sly and cheap side am sure even her parent's din't know of. Raja! Sambhavna? Did their parents know they abused so much!
Nobody can know you in moments they spend with you. I don't know myself in the life i have spent with me... i dunno how i'd be tomorrow... all i know is i am not wanting to know myself anymore... its beautiful see everytihng unfold gradually to know the various magical aspects of yourself. I like it... sorry but nobody knows me... nobody knows you either... we are all Inconnu!
Who knows you anyway? We are surrounded by people who constantly tells us how well they know us. Be it your boyfriend/girlfriend, your very close friends, your family, your acquaintances or anybody you meet even for a millisecond. They remember the next time you meet, what food you like, what color you like, what dress you wore and all that trash and it means they know you well. I like it! So convinient. So knowing somebody is basically just about knowing their likes and dislikes, knowing their friends and knowing the exterior! Or is it? So when your friends know you they mean they know what you like or dislike. What do they mean when they say they know you?
Frankly even your parents don't know you completely. No they can't. What they see of you is their child and what you are is something else. You may have a zillion flaws and your parents would voluntarily not notice them only because you are their child. So how well do they know you? Just as much as you know yourself.
All of us infact change according to circumstances; consciously or sub consciously. Plus, all of us grow with our experiences as well. So its not neccesary that we react the same way to the same situation at two different occasions and its completely natural. Does it mean that we have changed? ummm... may be yes, may be not! Our choices, likes and dislikes... our decisions and so many other things so depend on the today we are living in that i may have planned the biggest house on a particular land and just when i start digging the foundation i may find an oil reserve and start a petrol pump there! Have i changed????
What we are in front of our parents we are not in front of the friends and not the same in front of our collegues and not all in front of strangers and neither knows how you are in front of the other. So if we have so many different facets in just one personality who would you say knows you thouroughly? You??? Would you know if you'd react the same way to the same thing at two different time zones? Damn!
I was watching big boss (yes i watch it regularly and if i may say... i am a fan!) i realised how everybody was totally contrary to what i percieved of them or how they showed. Like a payal was the biggest shock to me... somebody who pretends to be sober and demure suddenly became this stupid bimbette who is so suffering from attention deficit syndrome that she couldn't look straight into people's eyes without looking through them at the camera once. Her sly and cheap side am sure even her parent's din't know of. Raja! Sambhavna? Did their parents know they abused so much!
Nobody can know you in moments they spend with you. I don't know myself in the life i have spent with me... i dunno how i'd be tomorrow... all i know is i am not wanting to know myself anymore... its beautiful see everytihng unfold gradually to know the various magical aspects of yourself. I like it... sorry but nobody knows me... nobody knows you either... we are all Inconnu!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
PARADOX
There i was sitting and waiting for my friend to arrive just outside Cafe Mondegar. The dholki wala trying to sell me dholaks almost convincing me that i can be the next Himesh with it, the tee shirt wala trying to make me feel better telling me that the tiny tee shirt is ACTUALLY my size and the taxi walas slowing down as if i were waiting there for them.
Across the road at a distance i saw a boy and a girl, in a rather uncomfortable position, just behind where the pan wala was. I was stunned for a moment thinking what the two must be really thinking to be be doing what they were doing on the road in full public view. This aint like Big Boss where such works for TRP's. I noticed around nobody was paying much attention to it making me look like one villager. I was embarrassed, shocked, intimidated, curious and all that all together. I stretched my toes to get a better view to satiate my curiosity and a dholak wala din't like me playing bad cop. I was a bit anxious now to know what exactly was going on like most villagers like me would be. Its natural, no need to squeeze the nose in disgust!
So when i was fully concentrating upon trying to know how far the story has gone across the road i got pushed and shoved and thrown down the road. Bloody tourists!!! When i found my balance WHATEVER happened was the same! Argh! They were just standing in front of each other and bloody sipping coconut water from the same damn fruit! I was so disgusted with myself actually and embarrassed, shocked and all that shit again. Such a small shift in perspective and what i saw was in completely and totally different.
After a really long time i called this chap whom i had not gotten in touch with for many many years assuming he doesn't like me. I always thought he had something against me. I had some work with him today and i had to ring him up and much to my surprise he was very very nice. Totally contrary to what i expected, our conversation was superb! Its like what you expect and the exact opposite happens----- PARADOX!!!
A glass half empty to you may look like half full to somebody. A black cloud may look like thunderstorm to one or much needed rain to others. Darkness may look like the end to one but may look like the beginning of a brighter day to the other. Your eyes deceive you don't they? What you see with one eye gives you only depth, with the other eye gives you only dimension or distance. When you see with both your eyes wide open is when you get the clear picture. Am glad i opened both my eyes and gave him a call. I am glad about this paradoxical turn out. I would have been so wrong to have assumed what i assumed forever and never made an effort to rectify my vision. I'm glad i was pushed from the footpath to correct what i was thinking is wrong! I hope everybody gets a chance like that.
Across the road at a distance i saw a boy and a girl, in a rather uncomfortable position, just behind where the pan wala was. I was stunned for a moment thinking what the two must be really thinking to be be doing what they were doing on the road in full public view. This aint like Big Boss where such works for TRP's. I noticed around nobody was paying much attention to it making me look like one villager. I was embarrassed, shocked, intimidated, curious and all that all together. I stretched my toes to get a better view to satiate my curiosity and a dholak wala din't like me playing bad cop. I was a bit anxious now to know what exactly was going on like most villagers like me would be. Its natural, no need to squeeze the nose in disgust!
So when i was fully concentrating upon trying to know how far the story has gone across the road i got pushed and shoved and thrown down the road. Bloody tourists!!! When i found my balance WHATEVER happened was the same! Argh! They were just standing in front of each other and bloody sipping coconut water from the same damn fruit! I was so disgusted with myself actually and embarrassed, shocked and all that shit again. Such a small shift in perspective and what i saw was in completely and totally different.
After a really long time i called this chap whom i had not gotten in touch with for many many years assuming he doesn't like me. I always thought he had something against me. I had some work with him today and i had to ring him up and much to my surprise he was very very nice. Totally contrary to what i expected, our conversation was superb! Its like what you expect and the exact opposite happens----- PARADOX!!!
A glass half empty to you may look like half full to somebody. A black cloud may look like thunderstorm to one or much needed rain to others. Darkness may look like the end to one but may look like the beginning of a brighter day to the other. Your eyes deceive you don't they? What you see with one eye gives you only depth, with the other eye gives you only dimension or distance. When you see with both your eyes wide open is when you get the clear picture. Am glad i opened both my eyes and gave him a call. I am glad about this paradoxical turn out. I would have been so wrong to have assumed what i assumed forever and never made an effort to rectify my vision. I'm glad i was pushed from the footpath to correct what i was thinking is wrong! I hope everybody gets a chance like that.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Makes me Happy
There is nothing to beat the aroma of piping hot adrak ki chai. Its so amazing that it has really no equal. It instantly brings a smile to my face.
The other day i was thinking, its so easy to cheer me up. One cup of thadakti bhadakti adrak ki chai and am set! On my way back home i drool over the fragrance of sea food. I love sea food.... nothing to describe in any language how much love it. I have tried uncountable times to give up non vegetarian food, but i couldn't give up eating fish. I try to console myself by saying that fish ain't non veg in some parts of the world, but yaeah! we dont live in those parts unfortunately.
For some reason i love vada paav. Its the simplest food item on any menu but can refuel you instantly. Like you can't go wrong with a Vada paav really! All burgers and sandwiches are inspired by this numero uno fast food item!
My roomie came back from Hong kong last week and just as i asked for she got me wrist watches. Yes Watches...two of them... so my count has gone up ummm... lemme count.... the black... the studded... the metal... ya the two pinks and 3 blues... 2 brown...... I guess i have 38 in total now.... 38 WRIST WATCHES! I am an accessory freak, particularly wrist watches. I dont remember when this fad caught on to become an addiction, but there was a time when i had to pick up a watch no matter what every time i went shopping. Most of my watches have stopped working, gone bad... damaged beyond repair all because i have so many that i can't wear them all together. I wish had more hands to wear them all.
Just how small these things are but can change my mood drastically and almost instantly!
The other day i was thinking, its so easy to cheer me up. One cup of thadakti bhadakti adrak ki chai and am set! On my way back home i drool over the fragrance of sea food. I love sea food.... nothing to describe in any language how much love it. I have tried uncountable times to give up non vegetarian food, but i couldn't give up eating fish. I try to console myself by saying that fish ain't non veg in some parts of the world, but yaeah! we dont live in those parts unfortunately.
For some reason i love vada paav. Its the simplest food item on any menu but can refuel you instantly. Like you can't go wrong with a Vada paav really! All burgers and sandwiches are inspired by this numero uno fast food item!
My roomie came back from Hong kong last week and just as i asked for she got me wrist watches. Yes Watches...two of them... so my count has gone up ummm... lemme count.... the black... the studded... the metal... ya the two pinks and 3 blues... 2 brown...... I guess i have 38 in total now.... 38 WRIST WATCHES! I am an accessory freak, particularly wrist watches. I dont remember when this fad caught on to become an addiction, but there was a time when i had to pick up a watch no matter what every time i went shopping. Most of my watches have stopped working, gone bad... damaged beyond repair all because i have so many that i can't wear them all together. I wish had more hands to wear them all.
Just how small these things are but can change my mood drastically and almost instantly!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Dark Nights
' Salman Khan issued Fatwah for celebrating Ganesh Utsav'
' Goons bring down a cinema hall following strong comments by Jaya Bachchan'
' 10 killed in missile attack in Pakistan'
‘ 20 killed in Delhi serial blasts, many left injured’
What is happening? Since when did God in the name of religion and power teach us violence? Which religion in the world teaches it follower violence or hatred? Who gives this handful of nuisance makers the right to kill in the name of religion? And for whom do they kill? Terrorism has become the biggest issue in the world and every country is fighting it in its own way. Terror in the name of power, in the name of religion, in the name of money isn’t unheard of in any continent now. The future looks so bleak so dark and suffocating that it’s difficult to breath the same air as these so called ‘terrorists’.
Religion. So easily distorted. It’s perhaps the only thing that can bind numerous people in faith and divide them on the same factor. Religion, so individually driven so deeply engraved in our minds that one raging thought can devastate a whole community. It’s so easy to hit the soft spot because we are vulnerable to religion and our beliefs in it. A couple of people know exactly how to hit the spot and most of us fools who are in obvious majority fall for it. We let the terrorists take over minds despite being the majority. Aren’t we fools?
There are countable terrorists in the world. Let’s count the big ones that are world terror: Osama? Dawood? Saddam (who’s dead now!) and a few terror groups that too countable on the fingers of our hand. How many of us who are anti terror???? Zillions??? Is it so hard to combat what is going on? Is it really the future we have decided for ourselves? Why to work and earn when we shall eventually die at the hands of a few mad caps who know where and when to hit our emotions and spread terror? Its hard to believe that the biggies of the world, the intelligence of the world and the smartest and most vigilant police forces cannot locate one single radical. We can let thousands of people die for one groups’ selfish and lunatic interest? Weird!!! That’s all I feel.
They train 11 year olds to kill people and we teach our 11 year olds to sit and cry over it. So funny! Not that we should give them guns and teach them how to kill, but can we teach them better values and how to deal with a world like this? Visualize a world when our kids will have commando security to even play in the park. Imagine schools teaching how to operate and AK 47 or it’s advanced versions then, the children making miniature atomic bombs in science labs and then dividing their groups into religious differences and making friends only with children of their belief! That’s scary.
Terror isn’t a feeling we want to live with. Today am scared of going out alone in crowded places not knowing if I’d return safely. Thanks to a few mad guys. If they can cohesively ruin the world and make our lives miserable, we can get together to fight it. We cannot afford to play dumb like they cannot afford to rest.
' Goons bring down a cinema hall following strong comments by Jaya Bachchan'
' 10 killed in missile attack in Pakistan'
‘ 20 killed in Delhi serial blasts, many left injured’
What is happening? Since when did God in the name of religion and power teach us violence? Which religion in the world teaches it follower violence or hatred? Who gives this handful of nuisance makers the right to kill in the name of religion? And for whom do they kill? Terrorism has become the biggest issue in the world and every country is fighting it in its own way. Terror in the name of power, in the name of religion, in the name of money isn’t unheard of in any continent now. The future looks so bleak so dark and suffocating that it’s difficult to breath the same air as these so called ‘terrorists’.
Religion. So easily distorted. It’s perhaps the only thing that can bind numerous people in faith and divide them on the same factor. Religion, so individually driven so deeply engraved in our minds that one raging thought can devastate a whole community. It’s so easy to hit the soft spot because we are vulnerable to religion and our beliefs in it. A couple of people know exactly how to hit the spot and most of us fools who are in obvious majority fall for it. We let the terrorists take over minds despite being the majority. Aren’t we fools?
There are countable terrorists in the world. Let’s count the big ones that are world terror: Osama? Dawood? Saddam (who’s dead now!) and a few terror groups that too countable on the fingers of our hand. How many of us who are anti terror???? Zillions??? Is it so hard to combat what is going on? Is it really the future we have decided for ourselves? Why to work and earn when we shall eventually die at the hands of a few mad caps who know where and when to hit our emotions and spread terror? Its hard to believe that the biggies of the world, the intelligence of the world and the smartest and most vigilant police forces cannot locate one single radical. We can let thousands of people die for one groups’ selfish and lunatic interest? Weird!!! That’s all I feel.
They train 11 year olds to kill people and we teach our 11 year olds to sit and cry over it. So funny! Not that we should give them guns and teach them how to kill, but can we teach them better values and how to deal with a world like this? Visualize a world when our kids will have commando security to even play in the park. Imagine schools teaching how to operate and AK 47 or it’s advanced versions then, the children making miniature atomic bombs in science labs and then dividing their groups into religious differences and making friends only with children of their belief! That’s scary.
Terror isn’t a feeling we want to live with. Today am scared of going out alone in crowded places not knowing if I’d return safely. Thanks to a few mad guys. If they can cohesively ruin the world and make our lives miserable, we can get together to fight it. We cannot afford to play dumb like they cannot afford to rest.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Unspoken Words
How often do we start talking and the talk leads to discussions lead to debates lead to arguments lead to fights lead to no talk anymore!
Simple words all of them, can turn the simplest of discussions to big fights. When our conversations begin we so carefully choose our words and when we loose this control is exactly when conversations become chaos. Its so totally subconscious. Simple words have no direction or soul of their own. Words are what we make of them. Words have the power to make statements and memorable lines. They also have the power to break hearts and ruin lives. They can be harsh, they can be mild they can sooth and shock at the same time.
Words are best preserved and used only when they'r really required. Sometimes silence needs to do the talking. Silence, can compensate for a zillion spoken words. The silence that is uneasy, calming, reassuring, romantic, eerie and sometimes an answer to most questions. That's the toughest to read. Unspoken words, are silence.
Silence is the best language to avoid most brash ending word conversations. Learn this new language! You are sure to find answers to so many questions that were unanswered for so long...discover aspects about yourself that you otherwise would have wasted in words.
Simple words all of them, can turn the simplest of discussions to big fights. When our conversations begin we so carefully choose our words and when we loose this control is exactly when conversations become chaos. Its so totally subconscious. Simple words have no direction or soul of their own. Words are what we make of them. Words have the power to make statements and memorable lines. They also have the power to break hearts and ruin lives. They can be harsh, they can be mild they can sooth and shock at the same time.
Words are best preserved and used only when they'r really required. Sometimes silence needs to do the talking. Silence, can compensate for a zillion spoken words. The silence that is uneasy, calming, reassuring, romantic, eerie and sometimes an answer to most questions. That's the toughest to read. Unspoken words, are silence.
Silence is the best language to avoid most brash ending word conversations. Learn this new language! You are sure to find answers to so many questions that were unanswered for so long...discover aspects about yourself that you otherwise would have wasted in words.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Sex and the City
Its not funny to be living in a city so full of orgasms, where anything and everything can make you high and vis a vis. First when i was in a smaller city, i had nothing to do becoz of the lack of options. Things haven't changed as i had presumed, on the contrary they have worsened due to abundance of options. I don't know what to do!
Thats the hitch of a big city. Every murky lane to all the Illuminati, everything is orgasmic. I may behave like an idiot from the remotest tribe coming to a big city for the first time but honestly for anybody, so much glamor is a little unpalatable. Makes you feel like a small insignificant fragment in the big universe and nobody likes it.
The harms and charms of this city have been counted a million times before but when the solitude hits you, thats when you feel totally strange. Even the next door neighbor seems miles away. You jump out of joy meeting even the zero est of people who could possibly know you. It hurts when the crowd hits you on your shoulder and passes by when you're still standing there trying to find directions. Funny how people still manage too cuddle up in auto rickshaws and make out in abandoned structures. I reassures there is still some emotion left here. You walk out at 11 in the night and women would still dress up like its 11 am and manage to look fresh despite of a long tiring day.
I had not experienced this before in my life since i left the city as a child and have come back to be shocked and bedazzled. The late nights are usually reserved for the ambiguous beings. Flashy red and greens goldens and blacks.... electric blues and silvers around shady corners trying to find their weekly/ daily catch for a living, are a usual sight. I feel sometimes that life is all about 'that' for some( most rather!) people. For everything they do will eventually lead to 'it' somehow. They dark nights are reserved for them and everybody around me suddenly seems to be looking for 'it'. I have no problem with 'it' but its strange how a city can make it so easily available and acceptable and the whole of mankind can depend on it. In Wiccan philosophy 'it' means awakening of senses. This really makes me feel why do we need currency if everything is based on 'its' give and take?
Nevertheless, the city comes alive with every festivity, becomes dark with every off season. All that glitters are the clothes and neons that call out attention! For me, i'd still want to be that one living being walking around with toned down clothes deriving fun out of other peoples orgasmic deeds. By orgasm i really mean the excitement.
Thats the hitch of a big city. Every murky lane to all the Illuminati, everything is orgasmic. I may behave like an idiot from the remotest tribe coming to a big city for the first time but honestly for anybody, so much glamor is a little unpalatable. Makes you feel like a small insignificant fragment in the big universe and nobody likes it.
The harms and charms of this city have been counted a million times before but when the solitude hits you, thats when you feel totally strange. Even the next door neighbor seems miles away. You jump out of joy meeting even the zero est of people who could possibly know you. It hurts when the crowd hits you on your shoulder and passes by when you're still standing there trying to find directions. Funny how people still manage too cuddle up in auto rickshaws and make out in abandoned structures. I reassures there is still some emotion left here. You walk out at 11 in the night and women would still dress up like its 11 am and manage to look fresh despite of a long tiring day.
I had not experienced this before in my life since i left the city as a child and have come back to be shocked and bedazzled. The late nights are usually reserved for the ambiguous beings. Flashy red and greens goldens and blacks.... electric blues and silvers around shady corners trying to find their weekly/ daily catch for a living, are a usual sight. I feel sometimes that life is all about 'that' for some( most rather!) people. For everything they do will eventually lead to 'it' somehow. They dark nights are reserved for them and everybody around me suddenly seems to be looking for 'it'. I have no problem with 'it' but its strange how a city can make it so easily available and acceptable and the whole of mankind can depend on it. In Wiccan philosophy 'it' means awakening of senses. This really makes me feel why do we need currency if everything is based on 'its' give and take?
Nevertheless, the city comes alive with every festivity, becomes dark with every off season. All that glitters are the clothes and neons that call out attention! For me, i'd still want to be that one living being walking around with toned down clothes deriving fun out of other peoples orgasmic deeds. By orgasm i really mean the excitement.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I Do
One more ready to walk the aisle. The wedding bells and the vows. Its wedding season approaching and i sniff in the air what will happen in Oct/Nov/Dec. I will unfortunately have to disappoint a lot of my friends by not attending their weddings and its not because of any other reason but the very fact that i am scared of them.
Its overwhelming to see weddings in a lot of sense. One i feel 'Thats it!' two i feel its a long clumsy affair. No matter how much you spend and do for others its always less. Not a single wedding i have attended where people do not crib about something or the other. All they like to do is dress up gaudily and sulk about other's appearances and money. Three i feel its nerve wrecking more for the girl coz her world changes completely. Four, Indian weddings are way to expensive and loud and that makes them even scarier. And five, most aunty's are on a look out with hawk eyes for 'suitable/marriageable' bakras to fix them up with some arbit distant relative of theirs. Albeit its a memory of a life time for the two who get married (Positive and negative) i hate attending weddings for all these simple reasons.
Am not anti institution, its just that some things are not made for some people and attending weddings is totally not for me. But to think of it, its perhaps the most cherished dream for a woman. Every woman no matter what socio economic class she belongs to, has a dream wedding in her mind and a dream life. That includes me. I wouldn't lie. Two of my friends got married early this year, 4 would tie the knot this year end... one after the other all of them would be gone... wish them all a very good life and happiness.
Its overwhelming to see weddings in a lot of sense. One i feel 'Thats it!' two i feel its a long clumsy affair. No matter how much you spend and do for others its always less. Not a single wedding i have attended where people do not crib about something or the other. All they like to do is dress up gaudily and sulk about other's appearances and money. Three i feel its nerve wrecking more for the girl coz her world changes completely. Four, Indian weddings are way to expensive and loud and that makes them even scarier. And five, most aunty's are on a look out with hawk eyes for 'suitable/marriageable' bakras to fix them up with some arbit distant relative of theirs. Albeit its a memory of a life time for the two who get married (Positive and negative) i hate attending weddings for all these simple reasons.
Am not anti institution, its just that some things are not made for some people and attending weddings is totally not for me. But to think of it, its perhaps the most cherished dream for a woman. Every woman no matter what socio economic class she belongs to, has a dream wedding in her mind and a dream life. That includes me. I wouldn't lie. Two of my friends got married early this year, 4 would tie the knot this year end... one after the other all of them would be gone... wish them all a very good life and happiness.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Mumbai Meri Jaan
We all think it cannot happen to us... we all feel constantly that we cannot be victims, we all are fools to be thinking so, because tragedy doesn't care what you think, who you are and what you want to become. Tragedy has its own fate written that can go against anybody's fate! Stop thinking it can't hit you.
I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan last night and it made me think how unsure and insecure life is actually. Today we are relaxed, thinking about my future. We have invested money in insurance policies, saved enough for dry days ahead but we never know how soon and when the dry day will come in our life. Disaster or tragedy has no sound... it doesnt ring alarms before it arrives... After watching the movie i am worried how my tomorrow will be. The tomorrow that i am working hard for today,the tomorrow that is the most cherished dream that i wish will come true someday... a tomorrow that perhaps will never be!?
The movie has touched my senses in all ways. I felt tears in my eyes on watching a movie, after a really long time. Compelling direction and stunning performances have brought out the bright side of the blasts unlike most movies that leave it in the dark. For me the movie wasn't about the blasts, it was about conquests! Personal conquests... that over fear and insecurities. Fear of being scared, fear of losing your dear ones, fear of doing something that you want to do, fear of not being accepted for who you are, fear of accepting the truth, fear of being who you are. The tragedy is just a backdrop that stimulates these fears and surfaces them in the name of a blast. The protagonists fight their personal fears to come out as heroes.
The crux of it all lies in just the one dialogue that Paresh Rawal says to KK (i'd leave it to you all to watch the film and figure) and sums up how most things violent and unpleasant can come to an end. Its scary to think of a future where the next generation will be born with blast sounds around and get use to it like we are right now use to honking of vehicles. Just a vision of the world full of terrorism sens shivers down my spine. Like they show in the movies, the universal tint will be yellow because the sun will have to find its way down to earth through the thick could of smoke from bombs. there would be only ramshackle houses and buildings and people would be living underground without food and water supplies. Children would play with shells and gun powder... schools will teach how to use weapons. There would be only army people guarding their territories fiercely and all the Osama's of the world would have the last laugh. It all started with a Blue planet and will end into a red! Tomorrow is coming sooner than the blink of an eye!
I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan last night and it made me think how unsure and insecure life is actually. Today we are relaxed, thinking about my future. We have invested money in insurance policies, saved enough for dry days ahead but we never know how soon and when the dry day will come in our life. Disaster or tragedy has no sound... it doesnt ring alarms before it arrives... After watching the movie i am worried how my tomorrow will be. The tomorrow that i am working hard for today,the tomorrow that is the most cherished dream that i wish will come true someday... a tomorrow that perhaps will never be!?
The movie has touched my senses in all ways. I felt tears in my eyes on watching a movie, after a really long time. Compelling direction and stunning performances have brought out the bright side of the blasts unlike most movies that leave it in the dark. For me the movie wasn't about the blasts, it was about conquests! Personal conquests... that over fear and insecurities. Fear of being scared, fear of losing your dear ones, fear of doing something that you want to do, fear of not being accepted for who you are, fear of accepting the truth, fear of being who you are. The tragedy is just a backdrop that stimulates these fears and surfaces them in the name of a blast. The protagonists fight their personal fears to come out as heroes.
The crux of it all lies in just the one dialogue that Paresh Rawal says to KK (i'd leave it to you all to watch the film and figure) and sums up how most things violent and unpleasant can come to an end. Its scary to think of a future where the next generation will be born with blast sounds around and get use to it like we are right now use to honking of vehicles. Just a vision of the world full of terrorism sens shivers down my spine. Like they show in the movies, the universal tint will be yellow because the sun will have to find its way down to earth through the thick could of smoke from bombs. there would be only ramshackle houses and buildings and people would be living underground without food and water supplies. Children would play with shells and gun powder... schools will teach how to use weapons. There would be only army people guarding their territories fiercely and all the Osama's of the world would have the last laugh. It all started with a Blue planet and will end into a red! Tomorrow is coming sooner than the blink of an eye!
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Monday, August 25, 2008
God is Sold
It struck me at 10pm... i quickly had dinner and changed into more 'temple' like clothes and left for Hare Rama Hare Krishna temple. I am glad its just a few minutes away from home but i knew the que would be long and tiring. i reached at 11 just to see the mad rush and festivities. Its fun to be part of celebrations anywhere.
As i approached the temple premise the sound of bhajan and aarti grew stronger. People rushing towards to the temple in flocks to catch a good glimpse of the Lord whose birthday it was. Everybody had a fulfilling smile on their face like it was their own child's birthday. The vicinity was buzzing with chants and takes you into a trance. Well, i walked up to the temple and couldnt find the entrance so i checked with the inquiry. The first question they asked me was 'do you have a pass?' i said 'what pass?' he said pass as in VIP Pass? i said no... why would one need a VIP pass for a temple darshan? he bluntly and rudely said 'madam udhar jao... aapka line udhar hai'. I was hurt.. no because he spoke rudely to me but because he just sold God to a few privileged who had cannot stand in the line perhaps are too lazy and want even God to differentiate between his disciples. I got in and as i entered the discrimination was evident. A special line for pass holders that went straight to the where the idol was and for us petty people we had to make good with a few meters away from God, with people behind us pushing us forward and squishing us in the line. Nice! I am so happy to see even God is sold today. Clear and apparent demarcation between the rich and petty... women loaded with jewelery and money made it straight to the idol... gave hordes of donations and left in chauffeur driven Mercs.
Does it make them special to God? Does it mean that they gain closer access to God? Does it mean that God will be more attentive to their lives and bless them with special kindness? What does this VIP pass mean after all? We have really commercialized temples and God to our convenience. Its a sad state... one place where if he doesnt differentiate why should we? But the fact is God is Sold... actually our souls are sold!
As i approached the temple premise the sound of bhajan and aarti grew stronger. People rushing towards to the temple in flocks to catch a good glimpse of the Lord whose birthday it was. Everybody had a fulfilling smile on their face like it was their own child's birthday. The vicinity was buzzing with chants and takes you into a trance. Well, i walked up to the temple and couldnt find the entrance so i checked with the inquiry. The first question they asked me was 'do you have a pass?' i said 'what pass?' he said pass as in VIP Pass? i said no... why would one need a VIP pass for a temple darshan? he bluntly and rudely said 'madam udhar jao... aapka line udhar hai'. I was hurt.. no because he spoke rudely to me but because he just sold God to a few privileged who had cannot stand in the line perhaps are too lazy and want even God to differentiate between his disciples. I got in and as i entered the discrimination was evident. A special line for pass holders that went straight to the where the idol was and for us petty people we had to make good with a few meters away from God, with people behind us pushing us forward and squishing us in the line. Nice! I am so happy to see even God is sold today. Clear and apparent demarcation between the rich and petty... women loaded with jewelery and money made it straight to the idol... gave hordes of donations and left in chauffeur driven Mercs.
Does it make them special to God? Does it mean that they gain closer access to God? Does it mean that God will be more attentive to their lives and bless them with special kindness? What does this VIP pass mean after all? We have really commercialized temples and God to our convenience. Its a sad state... one place where if he doesnt differentiate why should we? But the fact is God is Sold... actually our souls are sold!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Kalam Ruk Gayi
Fir kalam chalte chalte ruk gayi
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
Kabhi socha nahi tha
Likhne se pehle
Ke aaj kya likhenge
Saaf kaagaz par
Dimag ke fitur ko likhne ki koshish hoti hai
Jo shuru kiya dil ka haal likhna
To kalam chalte chalte ruk gayi
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
Kabhi socha nahi tha
Likhne se pehle
Ke aaj kya likhenge
Saaf kaagaz par
Dimag ke fitur ko likhne ki koshish hoti hai
Jo shuru kiya dil ka haal likhna
To kalam chalte chalte ruk gayi
Syaahi jam hai shayad
Thode jhatke se chal to padegi
Magar toot jaaye toh?
the restless mind
and they lived happily ever after...
Ya that's a Cinderella ending anybody would wish for. All's well that ends well... but what if it doesnt end? Its vicious sometime... don't you feel like the hamster in the treadmill who keeps running endlessly without realising his run will never end, unless he decides to jump out. And sometimes thats the solution. Sometimes when the world is round you have to find another shape to fit yourself in.
Me and my roomie have spent all of today just lazing around in the house. Practially done nothing but punch in our laptops all day... i played games... she was editing her movie and i was rotting in my mind. This cycle of thots is endless. I cannot divert my mind elsewhere today and this has been like it for many days now. Just constant thots about everything and anything its almost garbage. This can't be called 'thinking' because that is voluntary but with me its an automated process. The moment i wake up my mind picks up at 440kmph in a second and it only stops when i sleep. I dont remember my dreams thats because my mind or the sub-conscious has no one thot to weave a dream about!
Like i said i rarely get headaches and thats only when i am supremely stressed, i can't sit down to begin de-stressing myself bcoz my mind begins to wander. In a psychologists term i am going mad.
Not everything has a happy ending... somethings just end.. without a thot or emotion. Thats when too many emotions go into it and suddenly it becomes too overbearing. The hurt, the pain, the tears, the joy, the smile and simple things attached are no longer special. I actually believe (still) that everything has a happy ending... if its not happy its not the end... but may be somethings dont end either. They just dissolve. Meaninglessly... somethings never end....
Nevertheless, these fleeting thots i know can be put to rest only when i want to, i want to put an end to it but i can't catch hold of a single thot, the thots just keep going on and dont stop... but i know only i can stop my thots but....
Ya that's a Cinderella ending anybody would wish for. All's well that ends well... but what if it doesnt end? Its vicious sometime... don't you feel like the hamster in the treadmill who keeps running endlessly without realising his run will never end, unless he decides to jump out. And sometimes thats the solution. Sometimes when the world is round you have to find another shape to fit yourself in.
Me and my roomie have spent all of today just lazing around in the house. Practially done nothing but punch in our laptops all day... i played games... she was editing her movie and i was rotting in my mind. This cycle of thots is endless. I cannot divert my mind elsewhere today and this has been like it for many days now. Just constant thots about everything and anything its almost garbage. This can't be called 'thinking' because that is voluntary but with me its an automated process. The moment i wake up my mind picks up at 440kmph in a second and it only stops when i sleep. I dont remember my dreams thats because my mind or the sub-conscious has no one thot to weave a dream about!
Like i said i rarely get headaches and thats only when i am supremely stressed, i can't sit down to begin de-stressing myself bcoz my mind begins to wander. In a psychologists term i am going mad.
Not everything has a happy ending... somethings just end.. without a thot or emotion. Thats when too many emotions go into it and suddenly it becomes too overbearing. The hurt, the pain, the tears, the joy, the smile and simple things attached are no longer special. I actually believe (still) that everything has a happy ending... if its not happy its not the end... but may be somethings dont end either. They just dissolve. Meaninglessly... somethings never end....
Nevertheless, these fleeting thots i know can be put to rest only when i want to, i want to put an end to it but i can't catch hold of a single thot, the thots just keep going on and dont stop... but i know only i can stop my thots but....
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Men-tal things
Just back from a sumptuous dinner at Trishna. Somebody else had a feast at our cost tonyt... this uncle from US of the A (on some other table. I'd be rather embarrassed to have an uncle like him)! He chewed on our brains for a good 2 hours until we left, he paid for the food and drinks and chewed on us for free. He was so high and so loud that everybody, by the time each one of us left, would have known all his distance kins. I know by now that he lives in New Jersey with his family, he likes Houston and thinks its the best place to live in outside India, its good that his sister did not sell off her New York property and that the board outside CST spelt 'shit' instead 'sheet' in hindi!
Men can be such sham sometimes i feel. They feel they are the best bred species on the planet and nothing is wrong with them but thats not true! Have you ever noticed things about men in general?
> Men take longer than women to dress up! and the dressing up begins with 30 mins of crap time!
> Men will never admit to having an ego but strike the wrong and then see the fun!
> Men gossip as much as women do, i guess more sometimes
> When a man enters a pub/public place, he will glance through the space and check out every girl magically with the corner of his eyes. And that is even if he has a girlfriend around his arms
> Every man likes to be admired but they don't admit to it.
> this is something i have observed in almost all men alike. Whenever they see a mirror or anything that reflects they HAVE to stand by and brush their hair or crease their shirt. Its so awesomely funny...
Men when they are drunk are the funniest species on earth i swear! it's such a show that i'd stay up to see all the fun. So many times my friends got drunk and had the same things to say over and over again that i almost know what will come next...the most common things i've heard are
> Tu toh mera bhai hai bhai
> Tu mera sachha yaar hai
> Merko chadhi nahi hai... yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai, main to aur bhi pii sakta hoon!
> Saala aa tujhe batata hoon... himmat hai to aa...teri toh *&%#@#&(
> Main tujhse ek dil ki baat kehna chahta hoon...
> jeevan mithya hai baaki sab ch^$%^% hai...
> maa ki aankh duniyadari ki..Bhaad mein jaaye duniya(3rd peg)
> phir phone nahi utha rahi...(4th peg)
Well anyway... i am darn sleepy ryt now, i rarely get headaches and my temples are pounding ryt now. Need to sleep to fix it!
Men can be such sham sometimes i feel. They feel they are the best bred species on the planet and nothing is wrong with them but thats not true! Have you ever noticed things about men in general?
> Men take longer than women to dress up! and the dressing up begins with 30 mins of crap time!
> Men will never admit to having an ego but strike the wrong and then see the fun!
> Men gossip as much as women do, i guess more sometimes
> When a man enters a pub/public place, he will glance through the space and check out every girl magically with the corner of his eyes. And that is even if he has a girlfriend around his arms
> Every man likes to be admired but they don't admit to it.
> this is something i have observed in almost all men alike. Whenever they see a mirror or anything that reflects they HAVE to stand by and brush their hair or crease their shirt. Its so awesomely funny...
Men when they are drunk are the funniest species on earth i swear! it's such a show that i'd stay up to see all the fun. So many times my friends got drunk and had the same things to say over and over again that i almost know what will come next...the most common things i've heard are
> Tu toh mera bhai hai bhai
> Tu mera sachha yaar hai
> Merko chadhi nahi hai... yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai, main to aur bhi pii sakta hoon!
> Saala aa tujhe batata hoon... himmat hai to aa...teri toh *&%#@#&(
> Main tujhse ek dil ki baat kehna chahta hoon...
> jeevan mithya hai baaki sab ch^$%^% hai...
> maa ki aankh duniyadari ki..Bhaad mein jaaye duniya(3rd peg)
> phir phone nahi utha rahi...(4th peg)
Well anyway... i am darn sleepy ryt now, i rarely get headaches and my temples are pounding ryt now. Need to sleep to fix it!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Raat
Raat…
Gehri raat
Kaali raat
Andheri raat
Mayoos raat
Sadko pe sirf kutte hain
Gine chune do log hain
Nukkad pe beedi cigarette
Aur kambal odhe footpath par palte sapne
Kitni ghinoni hai raat
Kitni manhoos hai raat
Na kuch dikhta hai na
Kuch samjhta hai… bas kaali raat
Din achha hai…
Sab dikhta hai
Bhale hi woh chhalava ho
Aur andhere se bhi gehri andhapan ho
Magar din achha hai!
Kyon din pasand hai?
Sirf roshni ke liye?
Shayad raat ko dekhne ka nazariya badal do
To raat bhi achhi lagey
Na bhoolein
Jo din, din bhar thakata hai
Wahin raat chain dilate hai
Jo din aankh moondne ka waqt nahi deta
Wahi raat ko sapne ka shahar basata hai
To raat buri kahan hui?
Shayad humein hi andhere se darr lagta ho
Kyonki humne gehrayi mein jhaankne ki aadat nahi rahi
Raat…
Gehri kaali andheri ho ya mayoos
Din ke ujalon ko chutti dekar do pal sulati hai raat
Taaki uske jaane par fir subah ho sakey.
Gehri raat
Kaali raat
Andheri raat
Mayoos raat
Sadko pe sirf kutte hain
Gine chune do log hain
Nukkad pe beedi cigarette
Aur kambal odhe footpath par palte sapne
Kitni ghinoni hai raat
Kitni manhoos hai raat
Na kuch dikhta hai na
Kuch samjhta hai… bas kaali raat
Din achha hai…
Sab dikhta hai
Bhale hi woh chhalava ho
Aur andhere se bhi gehri andhapan ho
Magar din achha hai!
Kyon din pasand hai?
Sirf roshni ke liye?
Shayad raat ko dekhne ka nazariya badal do
To raat bhi achhi lagey
Na bhoolein
Jo din, din bhar thakata hai
Wahin raat chain dilate hai
Jo din aankh moondne ka waqt nahi deta
Wahi raat ko sapne ka shahar basata hai
To raat buri kahan hui?
Shayad humein hi andhere se darr lagta ho
Kyonki humne gehrayi mein jhaankne ki aadat nahi rahi
Raat…
Gehri kaali andheri ho ya mayoos
Din ke ujalon ko chutti dekar do pal sulati hai raat
Taaki uske jaane par fir subah ho sakey.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Home coming
I am back from a long weekend and a lot of nostalgia from home town. Every visit home is always blissful. This time was a bit different. It was a homecoming of sorts. Everybody from all corners of the planet had come down for an ex-indore mirchi alumni and it had to be fun.
Its very warming to know that friends can really remain friends even if you meet them after years you'd still have more than a Hi! to say to them. We had to hit off instantly sharing gossip from the time we parted to the latest buzz in life. We couldnt stop talking for all the time we were together. The loud music and booze only raised our spirits ;-)
Going back home was strangely different this time... i hope we have more such alumni in the years to come to reassure to ourselves that there is still goodness around and we re-live the best years of our lives over and over again...
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