Wednesday, July 01, 2009

I am engaged...

Yes i am engaged! Finally....to my solitude. So i am sitting here, punching hard on the keys of my room mates laptop coz my machine suddenly turned foul on me. Decided not to show its ugly face and the screen blanked out like my mind. No man, no machine, no mission no nothing...

I am spaced out again. This happens to me simply because of too many thoughts at once. So when i sit to write i do not know what to write and where to begin. So i have lost track again i can see as i type... i was saying i am engaged to my solitude. I am at home alone, my roomie is out and the other one is at work. Just threw my cat out of the house so that makes me totally lonely. From my large french windows i can see the building across the road. About 50 odd windows. One to the drawing room and one to the masterbed room on each floor, of the flats facing my side. 30 odd lights are on, 20 odd people hovering in their houses from one room to the other unaware that i am watching them. And this one light on the 6th floor blinks and switches on. A young boy puts the TV on and if i am not blind i can see some animated channel on it. I can see through their houses, thanks to the very friendly 'watch my neighborhood' concept of builders that allows you to literally watch into each others' lives. I can see this one dog in the balcony sitting on a rain soaked floor, helplessly. On floor 3, the lady has got out a tray full of glasses i cant see what's filled in it. Guests i believe must be the reason for 6 crystal glass crockery to suddenly leave the showcase and butt itself on the serving tray!

Lost track again.... i was engaged to my solitude. I am having a monologue in my head. Trying to reason why i am still alone. All these years i have never evaluated my situation so keenly as i am doing now. May be its time. But my friend said dont be desperate... so i am trying not to be. Last night shivani n i went out... had great fun just idling our lives for 4 hours... saw the humungous rows of cars waiting to get on to the Sea Link like it would sink tomorrow... laughed at how we indians are and moved to link road and ate till we threw up almost! 200 mein jaan bhi le lo to de dein! mutton seekh kebab, chiken tikka masala aur 6 paav to bahut chhoti cheez hai!

So everyday i can't innovate on 'how to break ur solitude' topic! Ok my thoughts are changing now.... same logic... multiple thoughts!....

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